AARoads Forum

Non-Road Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: roadman65 on March 14, 2019, 11:40:42 PM

Title: Famous Stand Up Lines
Post by: roadman65 on March 14, 2019, 11:40:42 PM
Rodney Dangerfield:  My wife told me to take out the garbage.  I said to her "You cooked it, you take it out!"
Title: Re: Famous Stand Up Lines
Post by: Takumi on March 15, 2019, 12:54:19 AM
Title: Re: Famous Stand Up Lines
Post by: abefroman329 on March 15, 2019, 06:36:49 AM
Famous for all the wrong reasons: Fifty years ago wed have had you hanging upside down from a tree with a pitchfork in your ass!
Title: Re: Famous Stand Up Lines
Post by: GaryV on March 15, 2019, 06:59:21 AM
Henny Youngman:  Take my wife ... please!
Title: Re: Famous Stand Up Lines
Post by: abefroman329 on March 15, 2019, 09:23:45 AM
I haven't slept for a week...because that would be too long.
Title: Re: Famous Stand Up Lines
Post by: Takumi on March 15, 2019, 11:02:16 AM
I haven't slept for a week...because that would be too long.
I tried to walk into Target and missed.
Title: Re: Famous Stand Up Lines
Post by: wxfree on March 15, 2019, 12:25:24 PM
I haven't slept for a week...because that would be too long.

In a similar vein: "24 hour banking, I don't have time for it."

I forgot who said that, but I heard it a long time ago and never forgot it.
Title: Re: Famous Stand Up Lines
Post by: abefroman329 on March 15, 2019, 12:55:00 PM
Oh no, I've got...HAPPY FEET!
Title: Re: Famous Stand Up Lines
Post by: wanderer2575 on March 15, 2019, 08:08:24 PM
A member of Group A, a member of Group B, and a member of Group C walk into a bar...
Title: Re: Famous Stand Up Lines
Post by: inkyatari on March 18, 2019, 05:14:54 PM
"Well EXCUUUUSSSEEEE ME!"
Title: Re: Famous Stand Up Lines
Post by: SSOWorld on March 18, 2019, 07:37:38 PM
Title: Re: Famous Stand Up Lines
Post by: US71 on March 20, 2019, 11:00:07 PM
"I heard from my cat's lawyer today. My cat wants $12,000 a week for Tender Vittles" --Johnny Carson