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Author Topic: Should I Give Up Here?  (Read 2393 times)

abefroman329

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Re: Should I Give Up Here?
« Reply #25 on: July 31, 2018, 12:38:52 PM »

I don’t think it’s as simple as “liberals love tolls, conservatives hate tolls.” Libertarians, who are very economically conservative, seem to prefer toll roads built by private corporations to free roads built using taxpayer dollars, and seem to love HOT lanes.
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Scott5114

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Re: Should I Give Up Here?
« Reply #26 on: July 31, 2018, 02:03:19 PM »

I while ago, I tried to compile some driving directions for different incarnations of US 80 through the south. I put a lot of hard work into it and got very little positive feedback and mostly people just telling me everything I was doing wrong, then at one point when I did get a good draft with all the necessary corrections, everyone fell silent. As one can guess, that lead me to abandon the small project all together. It felt meaningless and stupid since no one seemed to like what I was doing.

On a project like that, you have to realize that how people react to that will really depend on how familiar they are with US-80. Most of us don't live in a state that US-80 passed through, so our emotional attachment to that road is not very high, and so we probably haven't put much time into knowing much about it. Thus those of us who fall in that group are apt to not comment, as it means that we don't really have much useful or interesting we could say. (This is a problem we have on Wikipedia—it is kind of hard to get people to collaborate on articles because everyone is most interested in roads in their local area and don't really have a lot of interest on getting up to speed on and putting the effort into a road they're not attached to in some way.)

The people who do know about US-80 are trying to be helpful by helping you improve your project. This is in most cases not a personal reflection on you. They simply have information that your project does not reflect so they are contributing to it. You could say that this is how they are showing their appreciation—they took the time to understand your work, to do further research on it, and give you the result of the labor that you inspired so your project can be better.

I understand where you're coming from. Sometimes I draw, and there is nothing worse than putting a lot of work into something like that and getting a total lack of response.
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vdeane

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Re: Should I Give Up Here?
« Reply #27 on: July 31, 2018, 02:05:27 PM »

Plus I imagine many of us aren't inclined to post "cool" or "nice job" if we liked something and don't have anything else to say, so that probably has an impact too.
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jakeroot

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Re: Should I Give Up Here?
« Reply #28 on: July 31, 2018, 02:13:56 PM »

about 90% of the community here also has either that or Aspergers.
Citation needed.
I'm pretty sure that was exaggeration for dramatic effect, but I wouldn't be surprised if the incidence rate among members here far exceeds the incidence rate in the general population.
I know he was exaggerating, but I also recall the subject being discussed before.
After all, it is much easier to type "citation needed" and let others do the work of finding, and linking, the aforementioned discussion, than to do it myself.  :-P

All I remember from that thread was getting an impression that a lot of users here have some sort of mental disorder. Not 90% (going through that thread to count wouldn't be sufficient, since not every user on the website responded), but more than our fair share. At my high school, there were many autistic and Asperger students; for whatever reason, I ended up in a lot of the same electives as them (I don't have any mental disorders). They never got along with each other.

Plus I imagine many of us aren't inclined to post "cool" or "nice job" if we liked something and don't have anything else to say, so that probably has an impact too.

Definitely. I very seldom respond with "great work", unless someone hit the nail on the head, and I wasn't expecting it. I'm more likely to respond with criticism, which can come across as rude. But I'd rather just be honest.
« Last Edit: July 31, 2018, 02:30:45 PM by jakeroot »
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jon daly

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Re: Should I Give Up Here?
« Reply #29 on: July 31, 2018, 02:25:14 PM »

Plus I imagine many of us aren't inclined to post "cool" or "nice job" if we liked something and don't have anything else to say, so that probably has an impact too.

I did call a photo beautiful in some long-running picture thread and that thread now haunts my "Show new replies to your posts" link.

I skimmed part of that mental health thread. I think I now have a better understanding of why folks here often complain about non-compliant signage. My pet peeve is unorderly carriage return carts at the supermarket and I will neatly arrange them sometimes.
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Re: Should I Give Up Here?
« Reply #30 on: July 31, 2018, 02:37:44 PM »

I skimmed part of that mental health thread. I think I now have a better understanding of why folks here often complain about non-compliant signage. My pet peeve is unorderly carriage return carts at the supermarket and I will neatly arrange them sometimes.
I do that too.  It's generally easy to tell which cart return I used.
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jeffandnicole

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Re: Should I Give Up Here?
« Reply #31 on: July 31, 2018, 03:10:47 PM »

I skimmed part of that mental health thread. I think I now have a better understanding of why folks here often complain about non-compliant signage. My pet peeve is unorderly carriage return carts at the supermarket and I will neatly arrange them sometimes.
I do that too.  It's generally easy to tell which cart return I used.

I want to go thru the entire parking lot and rearrange where the cart corrals are in the first place.

Assuming it's a standard lot with double aisles of vehicles like this lot: https://goo.gl/maps/VyQx3xCFHaF2 , you can place the corrals in each row with about 9 spaces in-between them.  On the next row over, also have them about 9 spaces apart, with the first one being offset 5 spaces from the next row over.

The result is that no matter where you're parked, you're not more than about 3 spaces away from a corral; whether it be next to you in your row, or across the drive aisle behind you.  Because you're within easy walking distance of a corral, it minimizes the distance you have to walk, and minimizes the carts left to be freely hit in the parking lot.

I specifically linked the Target lot above because they do a reasonably good job at this.  The corrals are a little hard to see from an aerial shot due to their design, but they are reasonably staggered throughout the lot.  It's not perfect because as you can see in the double aisle with the handicap stalls, there are none in that aisle at all!
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jemacedo9

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Re: Should I Give Up Here?
« Reply #32 on: July 31, 2018, 03:22:44 PM »

The unfortunate truth is that when we see something we like but don't have anything extra to add to it, we usually don't speak up...

...However, when someone has constructive criticism (which is good), or any other kind of criticism, they are definitely going to speak up, as they must elaborate on why they disagree.

On an online forum, I think this is especially true...and definitely worth keeping in mind.
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formulanone

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Re: Should I Give Up Here?
« Reply #33 on: July 31, 2018, 04:46:44 PM »

I skimmed part of that mental health thread. I think I now have a better understanding of why folks here often complain about non-compliant signage. My pet peeve is unorderly carriage return carts at the supermarket and I will neatly arrange them sometimes.
I do that too.  It's generally easy to tell which cart return I used.

I haven't had to corral the silver buffaloes for work in over 25 years, but I still get annoyed with disorderly cart placement...Mainly because I hate door dings, but I think my old habits tend to kick in.

Scott5114

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Re: Should I Give Up Here?
« Reply #34 on: July 31, 2018, 05:58:54 PM »

Plus I imagine many of us aren't inclined to post "cool" or "nice job" if we liked something and don't have anything else to say, so that probably has an impact too.

Right. It's not emphasized here, but on some other forums the rules specifically discourage these sorts of posts, as it's felt by the management they have little value since they take up page space while not communicating any information.
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jon daly

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Re: Should I Give Up Here?
« Reply #35 on: July 31, 2018, 07:56:00 PM »

I've seen other forums that encouraged positive feedback. I guess it is a question of phorum philosophy.

Anyways, 707, don't give up here if you don't want to.
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mgk920

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Re: Should I Give Up Here?
« Reply #36 on: August 01, 2018, 11:21:13 AM »

Every person is a little bit nuts, just in wildly varying ways.

I don't consider autism spectrum/Aspergers (et al) to be 'disorders' at all, rather they are part of who we are as individuals.

'Autism' is not a noun, it is an adjective.  One does not 'have autism', rather one 'is autistic'.  It is not a thing to be caught nor 'cured', it is just a collection of traits that are part of the base programing, the 'OS' of our brains, that are installed at the instant of conception.  And this forvm is a place where those traits, along with the ideas and opinions that they foster, tend to shine through and find a home, a place for them to be brought out and discussed in a totally intelligent manner.

Stick with us, improve your 'feel' for this forvm and feel free to chime in.  If a posted thought fails to find a response, so be it, just chime in again when the next one enters your mind.

Enjoy!    :cool:

Mike
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MNHighwayMan

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Re: Should I Give Up Here?
« Reply #37 on: August 01, 2018, 11:30:11 AM »

'Autism' is not a noun, it is an adjective.  One does not 'have autism', rather one 'is autistic'…

I'm sorry but that makes zero sense. It may be a matter of semantics but the end result is the same.

For example:
I do not have "alcoholism," rather I am "a heavy drinker." See the difference?
« Last Edit: August 01, 2018, 11:32:52 AM by MNHighwayMan »
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jakeroot

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Re: Should I Give Up Here?
« Reply #38 on: August 01, 2018, 12:37:16 PM »

Every person is a little bit nuts, just in wildly varying ways...I don't consider autism spectrum/Aspergers (et al) to be 'disorders' at all, rather they are part of who we are as individuals.

Well then you're lying to yourself. Autism and/or ASD are both legally developmental disorders.
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US71

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Re: Should I Give Up Here?
« Reply #39 on: August 01, 2018, 12:48:29 PM »

My 2 pfennig's worth is there are a few "bad players" (for lack of a better term) on any forum. Sometimes their "signal to noise" ratio has at tendency to drown others out.  I understand some of your frustration. I've learned when the BS gets too deep, to walk away for a while. I still get sucked in by some of the "drama queens", but I'm getting better at stepping aside.

If you ever have a chance to attend a road meet, you'll find most of us are "good people" .
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Re: Should I Give Up Here?
« Reply #40 on: August 01, 2018, 12:50:24 PM »

Every person is a little bit nuts, just in wildly varying ways.

I don't consider autism spectrum/Aspergers (et al) to be 'disorders' at all, rather they are part of who we are as individuals.

'Autism' is not a noun, it is an adjective.  One does not 'have autism', rather one 'is autistic'.  It is not a thing to be caught nor 'cured', it is just a collection of traits that are part of the base programing, the 'OS' of our brains, that are installed at the instant of conception.  And this forvm is a place where those traits, along with the ideas and opinions that they foster, tend to shine through and find a home, a place for them to be brought out and discussed in a totally intelligent manner.

Stick with us, improve your 'feel' for this forvm and feel free to chime in.  If a posted thought fails to find a response, so be it, just chime in again when the next one enters your mind.

Enjoy!    :cool:

Mike
  Depends on who you ask.  Some spiritual people will say it is personality, but a scientific individual will say its a medical condition.

However, go to a doctor and say you have it they won't treat it, as if you were born before 1990, you are too old to get tested for it as Pshcych Point in Orlando says you have to be a child to be diagnosed despite in the 1970's when I grew up in, had no idea it existed and kept those with low attention span billed as being a typical daydreamer.  So therefore they could not be tested at the said age that he said they should.

I only wish that the feds would except spectrums for grounds for disability, as one girl I know has a brother that cannot work or hold a job due to Aspergers, but Social Security says its not an illness to collect.  So meanwhile he has to live at home and be taken care of by her mother as he cannot make a life for himself.
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Re: Should I Give Up Here?
« Reply #41 on: August 01, 2018, 01:32:56 PM »

Finally responding to the OP's original post...

I've been debating this for a few years now. The sarcastic demeanor and lack of support at times really gets to me. I don't know if it's because I'm autistic or not, but I do admit to having sensitivity issues from time to time. Either way, I try to post something or take part in conversations or larger topics, where usually I'm met with little support for any small projects, tons of sarcasm (which I assume is people trying to be funny), statements or non-question related posts receiving less than positive attention or responses sometimes and some posts or questions largely ignored or pushed aside. Recently, I was targeted by a group of bullies in an unrelated setting which lead to me losing almost all my friends and having to restart my social life. Due to that, the feelings of frustration or disappointment due to issues encountered on the forum felt more intense than usual, with the other incident magnifying the feelings. I while ago, I tried to compile some driving directions for different incarnations of US 80 through the south. I put a lot of hard work into it and got very little positive feedback and mostly people just telling me everything I was doing wrong, then at one point when I did get a good draft with all the necessary corrections, everyone fell silent. As one can guess, that lead me to abandon the small project all together. It felt meaningless and stupid since no one seemed to like what I was doing.

Overall, some of the responses I've received over the years and some of these issues I've brought up give me the feeling I'm seen as a nuisance around the forum or a minor annoyance. That people generally don't like me here. I do my best to be the best community member I can, but I feel like nothing's working. Maybe I should just stop doing the same things over again, expecting a different result and just quit already? I don't know.

This is what I find: Often times, what I find significant or important, others don't.  I'll prove many of my points with links or quotes to official documentation, often state websites and such.  Rarely do I get a response.  Yet, if I or someone posts a subjective opinion on the same subject, it can create a firestorm.

Some of me often thinks why do I bother. It takes time to research and pull up the official documents, which in some cases are tough to locate.  At least it educates me on what the law or rule is, which gives me some satisfaction, even though I wished people would be more receptive to such posts.

I continue to do what I do, knowing full well it's probably not going to result in much of a response from anyone.

Quote
Due to that, the feelings of frustration or disappointment due to issues encountered on the forum felt more intense than usual, with the other incident magnifying the feelings.

I repeated this from your original post because I find it true as well.  I wished I had better relations with many in these forums, because when it comes down to it, there are very few of us with this common interest and bond.  You can find a multitude of stamp collecting and bird watching forums.  You're going to find approximately 1 roadgeek forum. 

Granted, I know that I have done some things to sever some of these relationships, which I'm well aware of.  So that hurts me knowing that I'm certainly at fault there.  I'm well aware that I need to reach out more on a personal level.  I guess that in the years before this forum (to show that this forum has nothing to do with it), there was some sort of distance that developed with me and others, so I'm more of one to sit back and wait for the invite, rather than the other way around.
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CapeCodder

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Re: Should I Give Up Here?
« Reply #42 on: August 01, 2018, 06:37:01 PM »

Never give up. I'm on the spectrum myself (diagnosed in 1995, or "the dark ages") I continually amaze myself every day and think if I'd given up, I'd miss out.
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Re: Should I Give Up Here?
« Reply #43 on: August 01, 2018, 06:47:33 PM »

Regarding spectrum disorders, I find the suggestion that they aren't disorders to be, for lack of a better word, offensive.  If they aren't classified as disorders, then medical professionals wouldn't feel the need to treat them.

So, for my son, he would have never received the necessary therapy and training to cope with his Asperger's Syndrome diagnosis, for there wouldn't have been a disorder to address.  But, because of the diagnosis, instead of throwing a tantrum with every unexpected change in plan, isolating him socially, he is now someone who is successful academically and has a group of friends. Therefore, better diagnosed as a disorder than not.
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Re: Should I Give Up Here?
« Reply #44 on: August 01, 2018, 07:13:05 PM »

I think the big problem is when you have it all in your family!  It had the tendency to be like here you can fight even over things that you agree with.

Aspergers can be passed on and if you have it chances are your mom or you dad had it first.

Yes with a little work you can make it.  The problem is those around you need to have patience and let you speak.  Many either do not want to take the time to listen or think that they are helping you by not letting you finish a sentence or ramble.  Even though it is how many make their point in the roundabout way, to them others will think that you have no clue yourself what kind of a point you are making.

You can learn how to make empathy and like on Star Trek with Spock using logic to get by with his lack of empathy you can do it well.  You also need more time and yes, you can eventually find to understand others and make them understand you.   Yes, the world today being too damned fast pace does create a big challenge as you finally get used to something, its obsolete, but having faith and also to train yourself that your own emotions are lying to you like when you feel guilty for something petty.  That, even though is challenging, can be overcome.  It will confuse you a bit so you may need to heed advice from others when you are dealing with wrongfully felt feelings before you continue.
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Re: Should I Give Up Here?
« Reply #45 on: August 01, 2018, 08:24:23 PM »

Autism is certainly a disorder, and it helps to be diagnosed if you have it. Even with that said, I personally consider Asperger's to be a part of who I am as a person. This is primarily because Asperger's can often cause people to have very specific (not many different ones, but a select few), unusual, and very intense interests. This is why I think that my own Autism had a huge hand in me being the very strong roadgeek that I am. I am intensely interested in roads, and they play a huge part in my day-to-day life. I wouldn't want to live my life without the intense, unusual interests (primarily roads) I have, and I would not have wanted to live without Asperger's (note this is Asperger's specifically - high-functioning Autism - severe autism is obviously a much different story, as that is much more disabling). That might sound nuts, but it is true. I still have the struggles that come with Asperger's/Autism (but in a much lesser form than people who have it more severe since I am high-functioning). I am not that great at reading emotions. I think people are laughing or crying sometimes when they're doing the opposite or even nothing at all. Since I have a perceptual set for pessimism (as discussed in an earlier post of mine upthread), I usually think people are much angrier or enraged than they actually are. The autism makes it hard for me to accurately interpret emotions, and this is compounded by the fact that I have a pessimistic mind-set, and that clouds my view with interpreting things as much, much more negative than they actually are. My eye contact is incredibly awkward (I'm usually staring at someone's cheek, or my eyes are constantly moving in every other direction other than the person's face). And many of the other things that Asperger's/Autism can make it hard to do. But basically, yes the struggles that come with it aren't fun, but for me personally the benefits of my intense, unusual, and passionate interests outweigh all the struggles I face with the Asperger's. There is also the photographic memory that comes with it. This allows me to draw Interstate/city maps somewhat accurately of all lower-48 states by memory. This is also how when I read things and learn things (whether online or in a book/on paper, I will often recite material possibly sometimes almost verbatim as how it was written when I read it and learned it. I'm not trying to copy the wording (or general gist of it) on purpose, but my photographic memory makes this a very common occurrence for me. I wouldn't want to live without it. However, this definitely does not apply to the other things I have. Psychological disorders, also known as mental illnesses (which is a separate class than the one Autism is in), are absolute chaos and have no benefits, at least for me personally. I have several mental illnesses, including stuff like Depression and OCD, and I would gladly live without all of those. I have only had these since starting a few years ago, not my whole life like Asperger's. Asperger's influenced who I am and me being a hardcore roadgeek, but my mental illnesses only try everything in their power to take that away from me or impair it in some massive way. For me, I consider Asperger's to be a gift I would never want to live without, and the mental illnesses to be curses from hell that are the primary reason I am now permanently disabled to some extent. They've even actually made my autism worse, bringing out the struggles that Asperger's comes with more than they ever were before. A few years ago (primarily mid-2012 to mid-2014) was the most normal I ever was. Unfortunately that's life, but I must move on. These mental illnesses are horrific, but they have caused me to take a massive interest in Psychology. I've tried to learn everything I can about them, and I now understand my own self better than ever before. I see my own Autism as a gift, on my personal level. It certainly isn't for everyone, especially for those people with very severe Autism. In any case whatsoever, Autism is a disorder. It comes with struggles - if it is high-functioning (Asperger's), it can come with gifts as well. In every case, people with autism should be allowed treatment to help them function better. When I was very young my autism was more noticeable than it was later on, a few years ago. I got lots of help, I was diagnosed, I had a speech therapist at school (for a long time I had trouble pronouncing the "th" sound correctly, IIRC), and more. I was also very sensitive to sensory things (such as loud fire alarms), but the severity of that has decreased as well. Autism may run in my family, as I have a cousin who has it as well, and of course I have it. Unfortunately, mental illnesses do as well. My great uncle had schizophrenia, and unfortunately I found the same fate as well. I'm truly glad I had the chance to live without any of those devils until the age of 14-and-a-half. Naturally, I wish those days never ended, but I am truly glad I at least have the opportunity to access those beautiful memories in my brain. I can never let myself forget them. I am moving forward now, but some of my heart will always be in the past. I will try to live my life in the best way possible with the capacity that I do have, even if it isn't perfect.
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Re: Should I Give Up Here?
« Reply #46 on: August 01, 2018, 08:59:28 PM »

Wow, it's been done. The wall has been built.
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Scott5114

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Re: Should I Give Up Here?
« Reply #47 on: August 02, 2018, 04:01:02 AM »

Well then you're lying to yourself. Autism and/or ASD are both legally developmental disorders.

One has to be careful with hewing to legal or even medical diagnostic definitions on some things. Until recently LGBT individuals were classed as mentally ill according to some medical documentation.
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Re: Should I Give Up Here?
« Reply #48 on: August 02, 2018, 08:39:19 AM »

Every person is a little bit nuts, just in wildly varying ways.

I think this is profoundly true. In my experience and observation everyone is weird in some way. The only questions are the degree and the visibility.

I've often spoken with people who were discouraged thinking they themselves were too weird. I tell people if you know someone who you don't think is really weird in some way, then you just don't know them well enough. The closer you know someone, anyone, the more you see the weird things. Sometimes it's small things, sometimes big things. But everyone's got 'em.

To me, it's the weird things that make people interesting. When I look back on my life, the places I've lived, the people I've known, and the friends I've had, I see that the people I enjoyed spending time with the most have been people who others thought were "weird." It's been true all my life and it's still true for me now.

So yeah, we're glad you're here.
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jakeroot

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Re: Should I Give Up Here?
« Reply #49 on: August 02, 2018, 01:23:36 PM »

Well then you're lying to yourself. Autism and/or ASD are both legally developmental disorders.

One has to be careful with hewing to legal or even medical diagnostic definitions on some things. Until recently LGBT individuals were classed as mentally ill according to some medical documentation.

Was there actual science behind those diagnoses? I'm guessing things have changed a bit, since AFAIK Autism/ASD have not always been widely recognized.
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