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Author Topic: Dibs  (Read 1226 times)

kphoger

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Re: Dibs
« Reply #50 on: November 28, 2018, 03:20:47 PM »

Butters does take off his pants and underwear when he takes a dump, but that's because he sits facing the wall, using the toilet tank as a shelf for his book.

I don't see how sitting backwards on a toilet requires removing one's pants anyway.  Pants go around your ankles, legs straddle the toilet, all is good.
That wouldn't work if the toilet had a cistern.  Your pants would be resting on the part that connects the bowl to the cistern.  That's disgusting.

??  Please explain.  To me, a toilet cistern is the same thing as a toilet tank—which would not be in contact with one's pants.
Where are your pants resting if they're around your ankles and you're straddling a toilet?

In front of the stool.
Follow the steps below, and your feet never have to move. ***

1.  Face the toilet.
2.  Pull your pants down.
3.  Sit on the toilet, straddling it with your legs.

This gentleman's body posture could remain more or less the same if his pants were around his ankles:




edited at the request of my lawyer

***  If you start to lose your balance, please do move your feet to avoid unnecessary injury.
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kphoger

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Re: Dibs
« Reply #51 on: November 28, 2018, 03:28:37 PM »

Hmmm...  Upon further reflection practicing in the bathroom at work just now, it occurs to me that I have an important advantage over many people, and certainly over the characters of South Park:  long legs.  The procedure I described may very well not work for those with shorter legs.
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1995hoo

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Re: Dibs
« Reply #52 on: November 28, 2018, 03:32:25 PM »

Hmmm...  Upon further reflection practicing in the bathroom at work just now, it occurs to me that I have an important advantage over many people, and certainly over the characters of South Park:  long legs.  The procedure I described may very well not work for those with shorter legs.

I've noted two important differences between most of the workplace toilets I've encountered versus the ones at home: (1) The workplace ones are generally the type that's open underneath, i.e. bolted to the wall, such that in theory it would be easier to sit facing the wall because you wouldn't have to tuck your legs backward as seen in the photo above because they could just slide under the bowl. (2) The workplace ones often have a different style seat from the ones at home in that they usually have the open end, which might or might not be important depending on how your arse is positioned. (At home we have the "comfort height" toilets with the "elongated" bowls as opposed to the "round front" bowls. The elongated-style seat tapers a lot more at the one end, so precise positioning would become a lot more important if one were to try going Butters-style.)
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abefroman329

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Re: Dibs
« Reply #53 on: November 28, 2018, 03:40:40 PM »

I think I'll continue to sit on the toilet facing forward, thanks.
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1995hoo

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Re: Dibs
« Reply #54 on: November 28, 2018, 03:45:02 PM »

I think I'll continue to sit on the toilet facing forward, thanks.

But (to bring this thread back onto the topic of parking dibs) if you took a dump facing the wall, and you positioned some kind of basin or other dish in an appropriate spot to catch anything that might "miss" the bowl, you'd then have a "space saver" for your parking dibs that almost nobody else would be willing to remove!  :-o
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"You know, you never have a guaranteed spot until you have a spot guaranteed."
—Olaf Kolzig, as quoted in the Washington Times on March 28, 2003,
commenting on the Capitals clinching a playoff spot.

"That sounded stupid, didn't it?"—Kolzig, to the same reporter a few seconds later.

kphoger

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Re: Dibs
« Reply #55 on: November 28, 2018, 03:49:03 PM »

(At home we have the "comfort height" toilets with the "elongated" bowls as opposed to the "round front" bowls. The elongated-style seat tapers a lot more at the one end, so precise positioning would become a lot more important if one were to try going Butters-style.)

Indeed, your stalactite might become a pillar.

pooing is cool.
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MNHighwayMan

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Re: Dibs
« Reply #56 on: November 28, 2018, 05:45:57 PM »

But (to bring this thread back onto the topic of parking dibs) if you took a dump facing the wall, and you positioned some kind of basin or other dish in an appropriate spot to catch anything that might "miss" the bowl, you'd then have a "space saver" for your parking dibs that almost nobody else would be willing to remove!  :-o

Or you could just poo in the street, and save yourself a few steps. :bigass:
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formulanone

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Re: Dibs
« Reply #57 on: November 28, 2018, 05:59:49 PM »

How about we bring this tread full circle by leaving a steaming pile of turds in the spot that you've just shoveled, just to mark the territory?

abefroman329

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Re: Dibs
« Reply #58 on: November 28, 2018, 06:40:09 PM »

How about we bring this tread full circle by leaving a steaming pile of turds in the spot that you've just shoveled, just to mark the territory?
1995hoo beat you to that joke.
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paulthemapguy

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Re: Dibs
« Reply #59 on: November 28, 2018, 08:04:42 PM »

Or line the parking space in yellow-dyed snow scattered about in trace amounts.  The snow would be dyed yellow with food coloring, but other people won't know that...
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formulanone

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Re: Dibs
« Reply #60 on: November 28, 2018, 09:26:03 PM »

How about we bring this tread full circle by leaving a steaming pile of turds in the spot that you've just shoveled, just to mark the territory?
1995hoo beat you to that joke.

Sorry, I skipped the crap talk; figuring that being vile would move it back to its original discussion matter.

Tonytone

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Re: Dibs
« Reply #61 on: November 29, 2018, 12:36:23 AM »

How about they create parking garages or parking lots in every neighborhood & this wouldn’t happen, or even better , Ban car use in cities


iPhone
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abefroman329

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Re: Dibs
« Reply #62 on: November 29, 2018, 09:40:33 AM »

How about they create parking garages or parking lots in every neighborhood & this wouldn’t happen, or even better , Ban car use in cities


iPhone
OK, what do you suggest we do with a city block that's filled with postwar apartment buildings that don't have off-street parking for all of its residents?  Tear down one or several to build a parking garage?  Dig an underground parking garage under the buildings?  Build a garage over the buildings?

There's no need to ban cars in cities, I think making it really inconvenient for many people to own a car in the city has had the desired effect.
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Tonytone

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Re: Dibs
« Reply #63 on: November 29, 2018, 09:44:38 AM »

How about they create parking garages or parking lots in every neighborhood & this wouldn’t happen, or even better , Ban car use in cities


iPhone
OK, what do you suggest we do with a city block that's filled with postwar apartment buildings that don't have off-street parking for all of its residents?  Tear down one or several to build a parking garage?  Dig an underground parking garage under the buildings?  Build a garage over the buildings?

There's no need to ban cars in cities, I think making it really inconvenient for many people to own a car in the city has had the desired effect.
You got it abe, thats exactly what I was thinking, tear one house down & make sort of a half parking garage or little parking lot, orrr build underground parking & I only said to ban cars in cities, is because it seems to only get worse, as cities start to get bigger & bigger.


iPhone
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ET21

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Re: Dibs
« Reply #64 on: November 29, 2018, 10:32:46 AM »

How about they create parking garages or parking lots in every neighborhood & this wouldn’t happen, or even better , Ban car use in cities


iPhone
OK, what do you suggest we do with a city block that's filled with postwar apartment buildings that don't have off-street parking for all of its residents?  Tear down one or several to build a parking garage?  Dig an underground parking garage under the buildings?  Build a garage over the buildings?

There's no need to ban cars in cities, I think making it really inconvenient for many people to own a car in the city has had the desired effect.
You got it abe, thats exactly what I was thinking, tear one house down & make sort of a half parking garage or little parking lot, orrr build underground parking & I only said to ban cars in cities, is because it seems to only get worse, as cities start to get bigger & bigger.


iPhone

Already been proposed many times by local alderman. Newer constructions have started the "solve" the parking issue but mainly the city is promoting using public transit or biking to get around.
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kphoger

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Re: Dibs
« Reply #65 on: November 29, 2018, 11:30:30 AM »

How about we bring this tread full circle by leaving a steaming pile of turds in the spot that you've just shoveled, just to mark the territory?

I've got no problem driving my car over a steaming pile of turds and parking it there.  I'll just make sure to switch the vent to recirculate first.

Or line the parking space in yellow-dyed snow scattered about in trace amounts.  The snow would be dyed yellow with food coloring, but other people won't know that...

Similarly, no problem here.  If it's snowy enough for this to be an issue, then I'm wearing serious boots that I don't worry about getting dirty.
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hbelkins

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Re: Dibs
« Reply #66 on: November 29, 2018, 11:56:08 AM »

Well, this thread certainly went to crap.
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paulthemapguy

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Re: Dibs
« Reply #67 on: November 29, 2018, 11:59:45 AM »

Well, this thread certainly went to crap.

Not my fault. I was just trying to add some color  :bigass:
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1995hoo

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Re: Dibs
« Reply #68 on: November 29, 2018, 12:16:15 PM »

Well, this thread certainly went to crap.

paulthemapguy at least tried instead to piss you off.
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"You know, you never have a guaranteed spot until you have a spot guaranteed."
—Olaf Kolzig, as quoted in the Washington Times on March 28, 2003,
commenting on the Capitals clinching a playoff spot.

"That sounded stupid, didn't it?"—Kolzig, to the same reporter a few seconds later.

abefroman329

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Re: Dibs
« Reply #69 on: November 29, 2018, 12:19:36 PM »

Well, this thread certainly went to crap.
paulthemapguy at least tried instead to piss you off.
Yeah, he can be a real whiz sometimes.
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1995hoo

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Re: Dibs
« Reply #70 on: November 29, 2018, 12:27:10 PM »

Well, this thread certainly went to crap.
paulthemapguy at least tried instead to piss you off.
Yeah, he can be a real whiz sometimes.

Toilet humor can leak into any thread.
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"You know, you never have a guaranteed spot until you have a spot guaranteed."
—Olaf Kolzig, as quoted in the Washington Times on March 28, 2003,
commenting on the Capitals clinching a playoff spot.

"That sounded stupid, didn't it?"—Kolzig, to the same reporter a few seconds later.

US71

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Re: Dibs
« Reply #71 on: November 29, 2018, 12:35:10 PM »

After the recent winter storm, it's time for the old furniture and other junk to come out to claim shoveled out parking spaces in and around Chicago.  How many other places have this practice?

It's even a question in the mayoral races here: With flakes falling, Chicago mayoral candidates weigh in on ‘dibs’ parking practice.

There are even columns on it: First big snowfall brings Judge Dibs to the bench

I understand there are now parking reservation services. I keep seeing ads on Gas Buddy
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paulthemapguy

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Re: Dibs
« Reply #72 on: November 29, 2018, 12:46:03 PM »

No piss.  Only food coloring.
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abefroman329

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Re: Dibs
« Reply #73 on: November 29, 2018, 01:31:10 PM »

After the recent winter storm, it's time for the old furniture and other junk to come out to claim shoveled out parking spaces in and around Chicago.  How many other places have this practice?

It's even a question in the mayoral races here: With flakes falling, Chicago mayoral candidates weigh in on ‘dibs’ parking practice.

There are even columns on it: First big snowfall brings Judge Dibs to the bench

I understand there are now parking reservation services. I keep seeing ads on Gas Buddy
That's for off-street parking, either in private parking garages and lots or, in the case of SpotHero, sometimes it's people who will rent out their personal parking spaces in an "AirBnB for parking spaces"-type scenario.  Those have been around for years.  There's no way to reserve on-street parking.
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Scott5114

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Re: Dibs
« Reply #74 on: November 29, 2018, 02:13:59 PM »

After the recent winter storm, it's time for the old furniture and other junk to come out to claim shoveled out parking spaces in and around Chicago.  How many other places have this practice?

It's even a question in the mayoral races here: With flakes falling, Chicago mayoral candidates weigh in on ‘dibs’ parking practice.

There are even columns on it: First big snowfall brings Judge Dibs to the bench

I understand there are now parking reservation services. I keep seeing ads on Gas Buddy
That's for off-street parking, either in private parking garages and lots or, in the case of SpotHero, sometimes it's people who will rent out their personal parking spaces in an "AirBnB for parking spaces"-type scenario.  Those have been around for years.  There's no way to reserve on-street parking.

I suppose if it meant enough to you, you could set something up where you pay someone else to park their car in your spot, sit there, and wait for your return. I can see no way that would be illegal.

Here, we have solved the problem with the foolproof solution of living somewhere where it doesn't snow (and we don't have much on-street parking to begin with). As for the inclement weather we do have, it's generally accepted that if your spot is vacated during a tornado, you don't have dibs on it, mostly because it will take the insurance company too long to cut you a check so you can park something else there.
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