Most ridiculous spam messages

[SignGeek101]

We've all gotten spam in our inbox or in our email somewhere. Gmail is pretty good about telling me about spam. Some of the spam messages though...

Click at your own risk (there is no nudity etc, but has some potentially offensive language).

http://i1291.photobucket.com/albums/b551/slik_sh00ter/Disgusting_zpsobhv0e95.jpg

What is the most outrageous, gross, weird spam messages you've gotten?

[cpzilliacus]

What is the most outrageous, gross, weird spam messages you've gotten?

Hands-down, Nigerian "advance fee fraud" messages.

[bandit957]

I remember getting some where the content was typical advertising spam, but the title of the message was simply "oscar!"

[1995hoo]

I still remember the annoying GOOD TIMES VIRUS spam from 20 years ago.

A former colleague once noted how the spammers like to cover all bases because he would receive both "Enlarge your penis" and "Get bigger breasts now" within five minutes of each other. Most people who want one don't want the other.....

[kkt]

The "Get your Green Card!" spam, that came out while most of the internet was still non-commercial NFS supported.

[wxfree]

I enjoy reading spam subject lines.  There's an article with 100 of them here
http://www.cracked.com/article_17270_100-unintentionally-hilarious-spam-subject-lines.html

The worst I ever got: "rabid animalesque reproductive instincts."

[SignGeek101]

I still remember the annoying GOOD TIMES VIRUS spam from 20 years ago.

"Enlarge your penis"

You mean like this?

http://i1291.photobucket.com/albums/b551/slik_sh00ter/SPAM_zpsob4s46r8.jpg

I enjoy reading spam subject lines.  There's an article with 100 of them here
http://www.cracked.com/article_17270_100-unintentionally-hilarious-spam-subject-lines.html

The worst I ever got: "rabid animalesque reproductive instincts."

I don't know what to make of that.

[wxfree]

I enjoy reading spam subject lines.  There's an article with 100 of them here
http://www.cracked.com/article_17270_100-unintentionally-hilarious-spam-subject-lines.html

The worst I ever got: "rabid animalesque reproductive instincts."

I don't know what to make of that.

I haven't seen a lot of spam subject lines in a long time, because of the improved filters and increased use of closed systems (like Facebook).  But 10+ years back, the subject lines were often really outrageous and you certainly didn't want to open the message.  The penis enlargement stuff and fake Viagra went around, but the worst of it was really offensive pornographic subject lines.

[SignGeek101]

the worst of it was really offensive pornographic subject lines.

I've seen a few of those. I won't say exactly, but it had the words "pleasure" "she" and "tonight" in the same sentence. It's disgusting.

[roadman]

I keep getting e-mails that proclaim "The story that will force Obama to resign."  Sometimes they come multiple times in one day.  And my ISP's "spam detector" is a joke.

[SignGeek101]

What is the most outrageous, gross, weird spam messages you've gotten?

Hands-down, Nigerian "advance fee fraud" messages.

I've heard about these. Are they still as common as they were a few years back?

[Scott5114]

This reminds me of a site called Spamusement, where a guy took all of the spam subject lines and drew doodles illustrating them. Some of them are pretty funny.

[Brandon]

What is the most outrageous, gross, weird spam messages you've gotten?

Hands-down, Nigerian "advance fee fraud" messages.

I've heard about these. Are they still as common as they were a few years back?

Sadly yes.  Someone must fall for them to keep spamming the same shit over and over.

[SidS1045]

This is one my company's spam filtering didn't catch, and it's a good thing.  I will swear on a stack of Bibles that it's for real (quoted exactly, with errors uncorrected):

DEAR RECEIVER,

  You have just received a Taliban virus. Since we are not so technologicaly advanced in Afghanistan, this is a MANUAL virus. Please delete all the files on your hard disk yourself and send this mail to everyone you know.

Thank you very much for helping us.


Thanks & Regard's
Ken

[iBallasticwolf2]

WTF. You may think to yourself "It doesn't seem like there is any consequence if I don't delete all my files. 

[kkt]

This is one my company's spam filtering didn't catch, and it's a good thing.  I will swear on a stack of Bibles that it's for real (quoted exactly, with errors uncorrected):

DEAR RECEIVER,

  You have just received a Taliban virus. Since we are not so technologicaly advanced in Afghanistan, this is a MANUAL virus. Please delete all the files on your hard disk yourself and send this mail to everyone you know.

Thank you very much for helping us.


Thanks & Regard's
Ken

You definitely win the thread.

[Brandon]

This is one my company's spam filtering didn't catch, and it's a good thing.  I will swear on a stack of Bibles that it's for real (quoted exactly, with errors uncorrected):

DEAR RECEIVER,

  You have just received a Taliban virus. Since we are not so technologicaly advanced in Afghanistan, this is a MANUAL virus. Please delete all the files on your hard disk yourself and send this mail to everyone you know.

Thank you very much for helping us.


Thanks & Regard's
Ken

I want to know who the fuck would fall for this!?!  Dilbert's pointy-haired boss?

[cpzilliacus]

I've heard about these. Are they still as common as they were a few years back?

I have not gotten one for quite a while. 

[1995hoo]

There's a version of the Nigerian Prince thing going around right now that's targeted at attorneys and has apparently ensnared enough victims that the Virginia State Bar even sent out a warning about it. It's the same sort of "advance fee" thing. A "potential client," usually using the name of a Japanese or Korean woman, e-mails the attorney ("Dear Counsel" instead of your name should be a tip-off it's a scam) saying she and her ex-husband have a divorce settlement to be finalized and they need an attorney to facilitate the funds transfer. The ex-husband will send a check to you, you deposit it in your trust account and send a check to the client, and you can keep 10% as your fee.

Obvious scam, right? (This comment may sound un-PC, but as a practical matter it is utterly unlikely for Japanese or Korean potential clients to contact someone they've never met, outside their own area of residence, who is not a member of their own ethnic group for legal services unless someone else refers them. It just doesn't happen.) The check to you will, of course, bounce. The result is your trust account gets cleaned out, and that's the sort of thing that can get you disbarred because your trust account contains money held on clients' behalf–none of it is your own money.

I actually know someone who almost fell for this. I told him from the beginning it was a scam and he wouldn't listen. He went so far as to let them send him the check. Luckily, I happened to be at his office the day the check came and I refused to let him take it to the bank. Tip-off #1: The check purportedly came from someone in Philadelphia, and the envelope bore a return address in that city, but the envelope was a Canada Post XpressPost envelope and I went online and tracked it to an address in Mississauga. That's not dispositive, of course, but tip-off #2 was the check looking like a normal personal check but with the bank's name (and no address) where the accountholder's address normally goes and the words "Official Check" printed below that. I've never, ever, seen a cashier's check or the like that says "Official Check." So I made my friend call the bank whose name was on the check and, sure enough, they said it was a forgery. I'm just glad I was there that day so he wasn't financially ruined. (Same guy almost fell for another scam this past winter, which is causing me to avoid any further professional dealings with him.)

What astonishes me is that the whole thing seems so damn obvious, yet evidently a good number of attorneys (who are supposedly well-educated people taught to use a healthy dose of skepticism on almost everything) are apparently falling for it. I guess people are just reluctant to turn away a potential fee!

[roadman]

Just got an e-mail that started off with "You were recently chosen as a potential candidate to represent your state and profession in the upcoming edition of "Women of Distinction" in 2015.

However, I'm not a woman, which anyone should be able to immediately surmise by reading my e-mail address.

[Scott5114]

Women named Steve are extremely distinguished.

[Brandon]

Women named Steve are extremely distinguished.

Yes, they are: