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Author Topic: Forum Bullies- How long must we tolerate them  (Read 13495 times)

roadman65

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Forum Bullies- How long must we tolerate them
« on: January 03, 2014, 12:11:00 PM »

I have been a member of this forum for a few years now, I enjoy it.   Most of all I learned a lot here about roads and found out places of resources I can go to learn about things related to roads.  Plus I have met many interesting people here and made a few friends along the way as well.  I probably would make more if I was able to travel more to the various road meets that are advertised, but conditions permit me from traveling as much as I like to.  However, those are the breaks as they say, but life goes on.

Nonetheless, it has been an interesting experience to be able to share your knowledge of roads and pick up some at the same time.  Also to see many photographs of many places I have not yet clinched.  It is always interesting to see other states signing practices as well as roads you have never charted yourself.  In all glory its a great place to be! 

Sadly to say, we have a few people on here who get out of line and have short fuses.  Usually it does not bother me as much now as it did when I first joined as I had a few people on here that became obsessed with my posts because I did not take the time to read the guidelines when I first joined.  As a newbe I saw many topics started long before I joined and thought to myself that they were indeed interesting and just wanted to participate in the discussion.  However, did I know that people become weary when a topic is continued or worse yet brought up for discussion again months later.  I can now see why as many newcomers to this here forum occasionally start threads that were already discussed years ago and seeing it again makes you think " that is old, tell us something new," but now I have to remember what I have done when I was a novice and grin it as well as bear it.

Well, to be getting to what I would like now is at one point in time, just weeks after joining, I thought that I would bring up a new toll plaza being constructed in a very rural area that was in such an area where a previous plaza was removed to make it easier on motorists by paying a higher toll at one plaza over two smaller toll plazas.  Now, apparently the reverse situation is happening and the road agency who maintains our toll roads (or at least this one road) is going back to the old way once again.  I stated how corrupt a move it was as my personal belief (as is many who live in Central Florida believe also) that the agency is not on the level.  I even quoted one radio commentator saying that tolls in Orlando should be abolished which was a bad move.  I mean really a move that hit a nerve on this forum.  The announcer was Bud Heddinger, who is a local conservative here in Orlando, who does what Rush and Sean do on the national level, but here regionally, so it got one user here all fired up and began attacking me over my ideals of the post.

First of all, it got me mad as the toll saga in Orlando is not a public political issue!  In fact both Liberals and Conservatives both hate the toll system in our area.  For instance back in the 1990's when the FL 408 was simply called the East-West Expressway many Orlando residents, Democrat or Republican, both nicknamed the road as the "East- West Ripoff" and many long time citizens remember how it was before the SR 528 Airport Toll Plaza was erected as SR 528 was toll free in that location.  It was nothing of the sort in the war between talk radio and the rest of the world, yet this one user acted as it was.  He simply classified me as a Republican in the stereotypical sense, and was trying to make it look that it is part of the political platform of the Democratic Party in Orlando to keep the tolls alive and from there on in he began his bully quest on me.

Now I do not expect all of my posts to be liked, as there are many other users here who once in a while post something boring, old, or off the wall.  Bottom line is we are all different and we have different tastes and different likes, so we are going to post things that others may not be interested in.  In fact there was a post about stolen road signs that was made a few days ago.  I thought the thread was a waste, but I respected the poster as I said nothing even though I felt as an individual he did far too much research to make just one simple little post that turned out many characters in length.  I moved on as it is "to each his own" and he has the right to delegate his time the way he wants, so I let him.  However, I made one post today, and the one particular user who holds the grudge on me because I hate the idea of the Dallas Boulevard toll plaza started in to share his opinion that he thinks my post is boring of the sort.

Regardless, he too has the right to his opinion as well as I do to mine, but he really does not need to go out of his way to type in a few words.  In essence he can move on as well, plus this is not the first time since the Great Toll Road Debate he has made comments toward me.  He once lashed out because I made a comment that many non road geeks have made is the fact Florida Legislature seems to allocate more funds for highways to the Tampa Bay Region than the Central Florida region.  He responded in rage:  "That is because US 19 has no relief route like SR 50 does stupid!" where in my original concern I did not compare US 19 to SR 50 specifically.  Although he made a good point and it did answer my concerns as I seemed to overlook the obvious that all grade separations made in the Bay Area were along US 19, a road that has no freeway bypass as I was looking at the big picture of the two metro areas when I made my assessment.  However, the way he said it was uncalled for especially many folks out there think that way too, not realizing the grade separations of St. Pete are directed at US 19 as supposed to just intersections in general. 

Now, back to the subject at hand, how much of this do we have to take?  I have held my cool pretty good and being Christian it is easy to ignore as it is one of our values we hold dearly, but he seems to be pushing it so much.  I mean one day he will be fine, but another day he will not be.  Then he can go weeks without saying anything.  In fact there were times I had a friendly discussion with this individual in the between, but out of nowhere he just erupts at times with either a "holy crap" or a "yawn" and even a "whoopie" if he is not lashing out at another user for complaining about the left handed cloverleaf near New Castle, DE because the I-295 split from I-95 is nearby.  Then I have even seen him bash new members who are making their first posts with his sarcasm or off beat jokes when they post something that he thinks is not good.

Do we need people on this forum who insult others, or over make snide remarks?  Just where is the line that we have to take from bullies like this who troll the internet just to start trouble, which I think he does on purpose for lack of home life?  I too am not the only one who thinks of this one individual as a bully too, as many others have fought with him over the course of time as well.  Should we not have something done to trolls like this who like to prove how smart they really are for lack of insecurity in their own personal lives or in this case the lack of one?
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Sheryl Crowe

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Re: Forum Bullies- How long must we tolerate them
« Reply #1 on: January 03, 2014, 12:15:17 PM »

Often, these types of really short and meaningless posts happen because it is too long for the person to read, in his opinion.



Also, if a new person has a question, it should be answered, not made fun of. I agree.
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corco

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Re: Forum Bullies- How long must we tolerate them
« Reply #2 on: January 03, 2014, 12:28:00 PM »

I for one enjoy a little sarcasm and snideness in my reading. Keeps things interesting. The trick is to not get offended- why do you care so much about what some guy on the internet says?

Brandon

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Re: Forum Bullies- How long must we tolerate them
« Reply #3 on: January 03, 2014, 12:46:22 PM »

I know of this individual of which you speak, and the jerk really does lack a lot of people skills.  I favor just insulting him back with something he cannot reply to.

What can I say, the individual in question is simply an asshole.  He needs a good dose of Preparation H around his mouth and keyboard.  Treat him as an asshole and keep a supply of wipes handy when he spews his shit like an asshole.
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Re: Forum Bullies- How long must we tolerate them
« Reply #4 on: January 03, 2014, 12:49:16 PM »

Don't let him get to you. If he does, then he wins.
That's all I have to say on this.
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Zeffy

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Re: Forum Bullies- How long must we tolerate them
« Reply #5 on: January 03, 2014, 12:57:46 PM »

Don't let him get to you. If he does, then he wins.
That's all I have to say on this.

I haven't cared what people have said to/about me in the past 16 years. Real life, or on the Internet. If some people want to be assholes, then let them be assholes. Generally, one does it for the sheer enjoyment of seeing the victim in a rage or to see them emotionally hurt. Don't give them that satisfaction, and they (should) stop. At all times I try to avoid calling anyone out, no matter what I think of the post they made. Granted, people are different; This doesn't give them a valid reason to go and pick on them however.
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Alps

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Re: Forum Bullies- How long must we tolerate them
« Reply #6 on: January 03, 2014, 05:55:04 PM »

If you post stupid things, expect to be called out on your shit. That happens in Fictional (despite people saying "but it's fictional! you can't argue about it!), and it happens in the rest of the forum as well. If you dredge up a bunch of old threads for no good reason, you get called on it. 99% of the users on this forum don't stick out like a sore thumb. The few who do are either under the watchful eyes of the admin staff, or we're already on it. ;)
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DaBigE

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Re: Forum Bullies- How long must we tolerate them
« Reply #7 on: January 03, 2014, 06:19:35 PM »

And if the above doesn't work, that's what the Ignore List option is for in your user profile.*

*Although it won't help much if you let your curiosity get the better of you or someone quotes who you're ignoring later in the thread.
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Alps

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Re: Forum Bullies- How long must we tolerate them
« Reply #8 on: January 03, 2014, 06:41:55 PM »

And if the above doesn't work, that's what the Ignore List option is for in your user profile.*

*Although it won't help much if you let your curiosity get the better of you or someone quotes who you're ignoring later in the thread.
The MTR killfile... that brings me back.
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~ Steve
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I've listened many times, and I still can't figure out what the fox says.

"YOUR NAME IS NAMED AFTER A BUTT"

hbelkins

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Re: Forum Bullies- How long must we tolerate them
« Reply #9 on: January 03, 2014, 07:50:59 PM »

Consider the source.
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AsphaltPlanet

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Re: Forum Bullies- How long must we tolerate them
« Reply #10 on: January 04, 2014, 12:05:17 AM »

So to sum it up, the moderators don't care that your feelings might get hurt, because they find it funny.  But god help you if you post twice in succession on the same thread.

NE2

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Re: Forum Bullies- How long must we tolerate them
« Reply #11 on: January 04, 2014, 02:10:46 AM »

If you ask what we think about something, expect us to not care.
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Re: Forum Bullies- How long must we tolerate them
« Reply #12 on: January 04, 2014, 02:16:03 AM »

How about we use this thread to report any such nitpicking?
http://www.aaroads.com/forum/index.php?topic=2995.msg269077#msg269077
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Re: Forum Bullies- How long must we tolerate them
« Reply #13 on: January 04, 2014, 11:06:42 AM »

There is a report feature.
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Re: Forum Bullies- How long must we tolerate them
« Reply #14 on: January 04, 2014, 11:24:05 AM »

There is a report feature.
Not for me. I supposedly abused it.
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Florida route log | pre-1945
I will do my best to not make America hate again.
Global warming denial is barely worse than white privilege denial.

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Re: Forum Bullies- How long must we tolerate them
« Reply #15 on: January 04, 2014, 01:20:59 PM »

I can't tell you how many times bullies have gotten me on several different websites. Being young and autistic isn't easy, even to the point where I've been bullied online and in real life. I've even left this forum because I've been somewhat picked on. These days, I've grown to want to fight it rather than running away from it all.
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Alps

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Re: Forum Bullies- How long must we tolerate them
« Reply #16 on: January 04, 2014, 01:22:31 PM »

So to sum it up, the moderators don't care that your feelings might get hurt, because they find it funny.  But god help you if you post twice in succession on the same thread.
Moderating format is not the same as moderating content.
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I've listened many times, and I still can't figure out what the fox says.

"YOUR NAME IS NAMED AFTER A BUTT"

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Re: Forum Bullies- How long must we tolerate them
« Reply #17 on: January 04, 2014, 05:33:54 PM »

So basically, don't be an idiot either with your content and your formatting and you won't get picked on or moderated, right?

Also, back to the OP, there's one little line in there that really, really bothers me:
Quote
even though I felt as an individual he did far too much research to make just one simple little post that turned out many characters in length.

We shouldn't be discouraging people from doing "too much research"- that's what brings up the quality of conversation, even if it's on a subject you have no interest in. Doing far too much research shows that the poster thought about what they were posting before posting it, which is far more contributory to a forum discussion than an offbeat rant. I'm not saying we all need to spend hours researching before we post because that would be ridiculous, but man, when that does happen it should be appreciated and we should be encouraging that sort of behavior.

If you feel that people doing what you interpret as far too much research before posting on any topic is a negative thing, wow. It really depresses me to think that somebody taking time to gather facts on anything- no matter how trivial, and then presenting those facts would be something that others would look at in a negative light.  If that's really how you feel, you may want to ask yourself who the bully actually is- NE2 might be outward about his comments, but you're thinking far more damaging thoughts than he's saying, and that's scary. One of you actively calls out posts that may not be well thought out, while the other sees a well thought out post on something uninteresting, scoffs, and says to himself "he did way too much research." Both reactions are bad, but one at least strives for a higher quality of posts, even if it's done in sometimes brash way.

« Last Edit: January 04, 2014, 06:55:08 PM by corco »
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Re: Forum Bullies- How long must we tolerate them
« Reply #18 on: January 06, 2014, 07:07:25 AM »

So to sum it up, the moderators don't care that your feelings might get hurt, because they find it funny.  But god help you if you post twice in succession on the same thread.
Moderating format is not the same as moderating content.

Keep in mind that "The Staff" is not all one entity. Many of us have areas that they tend to focus on. (I am usually the one editing posts or fixing malformed quote codes, whereas rickmastfan keeps the board software running and checks new user accounts to make sure they're not spammers, etc.) We also have different opinions on how the board should be managed, and sometimes we have to have a lengthy debate to make sure everyone's on the same page before we do something.

That being said, it is helpful to know where the board membership stands on certain things. If we have twenty users complaining about something, you can be sure we'll notice, and it will make us more likely to take action. Remember, our PM boxes are always open, and we will share your concerns with the rest of the staff so as to make sure everyone's aware of what's going on.
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Re: Forum Bullies- How long must we tolerate them
« Reply #19 on: January 06, 2014, 08:19:25 AM »

Each person's words are motivated and formulated in different ways.  What they write or say is usually different from what you read or hear.  That isn't to say that words can't show ill will, but I wouldn't be eager to conclude that any particular words do.

If instead of concluding that words are meant to be hurtful you look at the thought patterns driving those words, you may figure out how those words are meant to be interpreted.  It's a useful skill to have, especially online, where you can't hear vocal tones and inflections.

If the words are meant to be hurtful, then dealing with them is a part of life.  It may be an unfortunate part, but I don't think so.  I believe that dealing with adversity teaches much about finding context and understanding the meaning of things.  Most importantly, it teaches lessons on finding peace; I believe the truest form of peace is that experienced in the midst of turmoil.  [Sorry to get all philosophical, but I hope it's helpful.]
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Re: Forum Bullies- How long must we tolerate them
« Reply #20 on: January 06, 2014, 02:45:47 PM »

Keep in mind that "The Staff" is not all one entity. Many of us have areas that they tend to focus on. (I am usually the one editing posts or fixing malformed quote codes, whereas rickmastfan keeps the board software running and checks new user accounts to make sure they're not spammers, etc.) We also have different opinions on how the board should be managed, and sometimes we have to have a lengthy debate to make sure everyone's on the same page before we do something.

I like the fact that you always put your initial after your edits.
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Re: Forum Bullies- How long must we tolerate them
« Reply #21 on: January 06, 2014, 04:40:09 PM »

I always thought −S. stood for Steve. :confused: I guess I never really looked.
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Alps

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Re: Forum Bullies- How long must we tolerate them
« Reply #22 on: January 06, 2014, 06:10:17 PM »

I always thought −S. stood for Steve. :confused: I guess I never really looked.
Mine are ~S
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~ Steve
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I've listened many times, and I still can't figure out what the fox says.

"YOUR NAME IS NAMED AFTER A BUTT"

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Re: Forum Bullies- How long must we tolerate them
« Reply #23 on: January 06, 2014, 06:52:52 PM »

I always thought −S. stood for Steve.
Mine are ~S

* Sammi scratches her head

added purple text ~S
« Last Edit: January 06, 2014, 09:03:54 PM by Steve »
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Re: Forum Bullies- How long must we tolerate them
« Reply #24 on: January 06, 2014, 09:53:36 PM »

And when I tweak a post, I sign it this way and add a reason:

-rmf67

 


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