Daily conversation: What is the worst possible answer?

[Sapphuby]

2/2/26

If you could build a travel center, how would you compete with Buc-ee's?

A dirt "highway overlook" with swings and a hot dog stand so that people aren't bored

[I-55]

2/2/26

If you could build a travel center, how would you compete with Buc-ee's?

Copy it, label it "Truc-ee's", allow trucks, and to save money on meat we only cook local roadkill. To attract new employees, everything is first shift, no night shift, but pumps are 24h. To avoid congestion near the interstate, we'll look for areas with low traffic, likely residential neighborhoods.

Prior to leaving the premises, all customers must salute to the I-55 shield and recite the Menards jingle.

[formulanone]

Doesn't matter, Buc-ee's will sue due to the use of the letter "B" or "b" used anywhere on the premises, dispenses fuel of any sort, contains restrooms of any sort, and anything that resembles an animal in its logo, packaging, or food will receive a cease and desist letter.

Or perhaps a Caesar Salad and dessert menu, I'm no legal expert.

[kphoger]

Combination gas station & cocktail bar^[1].

2/2/26

If you could build a travel center, how would you compete with Buc-ee's?

[Big John]

Doesn't matter, Buc-ee's will sue due to the use of the letter "B" or "b" used anywhere on the premises, dispenses fuel of any sort, contains restrooms of any sort, and anything that resembles an animal in its logo, packaging, or food will receive a cease and desist letter.

Or perhaps a Caesar Salad and dessert menu, I'm no legal expert.

Call it Yuc-ees

[kphoger]

2/2/26

If you could build a travel center, how would you compete with Buc-ee's?

[Dirt Roads]

2/2/26

If you could build a travel center, how would you compete with Buc-ee's?

Instead of a Wall of Jerky, the travel center will have four different "Walls of".  These will be as follows:
Wall of Squid
Wall of Licorice
Wall of Head Cheese
Wall of Sardines

Instead of a bakery, there will be a kimchi bar.

Instead of barbecue sandwiches, customers will choose between Braunschweiger and cold Spam with Miracle Whip.

The soda fountain will consist entirely of various Chanh muối.

Restrooms will be al fresco with selfie tripods for easy uploading to the store's website (with hip, catchy slogans like Upload Your Download).

Each gas pump will only dispense one fuel grade.  Fuel grades will be given names rather than AKI numbers.  87 AKI will be called 'Best', 89 AKI will be called 'Superlative', 91 AKI will be called 'Phat', and 93 AKI will be called 'GOAT'.

Its mascot will be a groundhog.

FTFY

[1995hoo]

2/2/26

If you could build a travel center, how would you compete with Buc-ee's?

Take away their Ipana.

[GaryV]

2/2/26

If you could build a travel center, how would you compete with Buc-ee's?

Pop-up dining in Waffle House parking lots.
And by pop-up, I mean things like popcorn PopTarts, etc.

[jeffandnicole]

2/2/26

If you could build a travel center, how would you compete with Buc-ee's?

Triple the fueling islands and eliminate all parking spots.  Everyone can just walk into the store from the fuel pumps.  Don't need fuel?  Just park in front of a pump anyway.

All pumps shall have diesel. Truckers can use them also, further clogging up the fueling islands.

[kphoger]

The target customer base will be completely different.

To focus on tourists and shoppers, the first location will be in Millennium Park, downtown Chicago.  'The Bean' will be front and center at the entrance to the C-store.  The cute mascot logo will be prominently displayed on the diamond of the Smurfit–Stone Building.  The entrance to the Metra Electric and South Shore Line station will be relocated from the Chicago Cultural Center across the street to inside the C-store.

2/2/26

If you could build a travel center, how would you compete with Buc-ee's?

[pderocco]

2/2/26

If you could build a travel center, how would you compete with Buc-ee's?

Make it completely vegan. After all, beavers...

[The_Ginger]

2/2/26

If you could build a travel center, how would you compete with Buc-ee's?

The entire place will consist of molded (shaped) soft cheese, from the bathrooms to the drinks to the gas pumps to the gas. All food items will be molded (shaped) soft cheese.

All employees will be coated in a layer of soft cheese.
All mold accumulated on the cheese will be retained for advertising reasons.

[kphoger]

The entire place will consist of molded (shaped) soft cheese, from the bathrooms to the drinks to the gas pumps to the gas. All food items will be molded (shaped) soft cheese.

All employees will be coated in a layer of soft cheese.
All mold accumulated on the cheese will be retained for advertising reasons.

I think the only part that won't work are the gas pumps.

[Hunty2022]

2/2/26

If you could build a travel center, how would you compete with Buc-ee's?

Get permission from the DOT to remove the section of highway between the off and on ramps at the exit my travel center would be located on so people are forced to take that exit and see my place.

[CoreySamson]

2/2/26

If you could build a travel center, how would you compete with Buc-ee's?

Live tiger.

[The_Ginger]

The entire place will consist of molded (shaped) soft cheese, from the bathrooms to the drinks to the gas pumps to the gas. All food items will be molded (shaped) soft cheese.

All employees will be coated in a layer of soft cheese.
All mold accumulated on the cheese will be retained for advertising reasons.

I think the only part that won't work are the gas pumps.

Why? This is the "worst possible answer" thread, after all.

[kphoger]

Topless pump jockeys.
"Full serve" includes a lap dance.

2/2/26

If you could build a travel center, how would you compete with Buc-ee's?

[TheCatalyst31]

2/2/26

If you could build a travel center, how would you compete with Buc-ee's?

Build it at the US 95/NV 160 junction north of Pahrump, so it can offer a different kind of beaver.

[ModernDayWarrior]

2/2/26

If you could build a travel center, how would you compete with Buc-ee's?

No beaver mascots. Instead, anthropomorphic jugs of urine.

[kphoger]

Why? This is the "worst possible answer" thread, after all.

I wasn't calling it a good idea.  I was just saying it should be mostly doable.

[Dirt Roads]

Why? This is the "worst possible answer" thread, after all.

I wasn't calling it a good idea.  I was just saying it should be mostly doable.

Would it be more doable if we used the famous goat cheese from Helvetia, Randolph County, West Virginia?

[formulanone]

2/2/26

If you could build a travel center, how would you compete with Buc-ee's?

No beaver mascots. Instead, anthropomorphic jugs of urine.

I didn't think I had another truck stop to intentionally visit, but now there's another.

[The_Ginger]

Why? This is the "worst possible answer" thread, after all.

I wasn't calling it a good idea.  I was just saying it should be mostly doable.

Would it be more doable if we used the famous goat cheese from Helvetia, Randolph County, West Virginia?

Yes. Yes it would.

[hotdogPi]

2026/02/03: There are already local/express and car/truck splits on certain freeways. What other categories of splits should exist?