Daily conversation: What is the worst possible answer?

[hotdogPi]

3/16: In honor of 3 16, write a fictitious Bible (or other religious text) verse about roads.

[PColumbus73]

3/16: In honor of 3 16, write a fictitious Bible (or other religious text) verse about roads.

And the man called out to the Lord
"Father, I have traveled many miles
for Your glory, but I cry in agony
for the passage is treacherous,
the journey is crowded,
and I know not why it is so.
O Lord, I pray for Your guidance!"
The Heavenly Father called down,
and His divine voice rang within the man's heart:
"Without patience thou cannot
follow the Lord, thy heart
must steady itself from
spontaneous desires.
Thine path shall prove your Devotion,
thy left shall lay many impediments.
The Lord demands thou take these impediments.
Your heart must not anger.
The Lord requires thou
to endure this trial to receive
His Blessing."
Amen

[kphoger]

15 MAR 2026

Many people track things they've done on this forum, such as clinched counties or routes. What's something that we need a tracking thread for?

Highways You've Seen On A Map.

I don't think I've laughed so hard during this thread.  Great one!

[kphoger]

3/16: In honor of 3 16, write a fictitious Bible (or other religious text) verse about roads.

From the Extra Amplified version of the Bible:


Luke 24 (Clearview Letter Bible, XAMP)

¹³ That very day two of them were going to a village named Emmaus, about seven miles from Jerusalem,

^13.1 along the Romans' Ascent, which is called Highway 1,

¹⁴ and talking with each other about all these things that had happened.

^14.1 At the third hour, they arrived at Kiriath-Jearim, but they could proceed no further due to a major ongoing road construction project in that place.

¹⁵ While they were talking and discussing together, Jesus himself drew near and went with them.

¹⁶ But their eyes were kept from recognizing him.

¹⁷ And he said to them, 'What is this conversation which you are holding with each other as you walk?'  And they stood still, looking sad.

^17.1 Simon said to him, 'They have closed the road to Emmaus, sir, but they posted no detour, and we do not know the way.'

[...]

^27.1 And Jesus led them along an alternate route near Wadi el-Ghadir and through Eshta-ol on the road of the Ark of the Covenant, which is called Highway 38.

^27.2 At the road called Highway 3, they praised God and turned east to face Emmaus.

²⁸ So they drew near to the village to which they were going.  He appeared to be going further,

^28.1 to Modein, for he had said that he wanted to clinch local road 4249.

²⁹ but they constrained him, saying, 'Stay with us, for it is toward evening and the day is now far spent.'  So he went in to stay with them.

[kphoger]

That was way too much fun.  By the way, I tried to make it as geographically accurate as possible.  Because of course I did.

[1995hoo]

3/16: In honor of 3 16, write a fictitious Bible (or other religious text) verse about roads.

Pharaoh was already near when the Israelites looked up and saw that the Egyptians were on the march in pursuit of them. In great fright they cried out to the LORD when they realized that a ship had knocked down the bridge they had planned to use. And they complained to Moses, "Were there no burial places in Egypt that you had to bring us out here to die in the desert? Why did you do this to us? Why did you bring us out of Egypt? Did we not tell you this in Egypt, when we said, 'Leave us alone. Let us serve the Egyptians'? Far better for us to be the slaves of the Egyptians than to die in the desert." But Moses answered the people, "Fear not! Stand your ground, and you will see the victory the LORD will win for you today. These Egyptians whom you will see today you will never see again. The LORD himself will fight for you; you have only to keep still."

Then the LORD said to Moses, "Why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to go forward. And you, lift up your staff and, with hand outstretched over the sea, a new bridge will appear, that the Israelites may pass over the sea. But I will make the Egyptians so obstinate that they will go in after them even though their chariots lack the required E-ZPass to pay the toll. Then I will receive glory through Pharaoh and all his army, his chariots and charioteers. The Egyptians shall know that I am the LORD, when I receive glory through Pharaoh and his chariots and charioteers. But one Israelite, the man called Beltway, objected and asked Moses, "Does not the LORD understand the cost and difficulty of extending a bridge across the sea, as well as the risk of further ship collisions when we are partway across? Could the LORD not instead make us a tunnel?"

The angel of God, who had been leading Israel's camp, now moved and went around behind them. The column of cloud also, leaving the front, took up its place behind them, so that it came between the camp of the Egyptians and that of Israel. But the cloud now became dark, and thus the night passed without the rival camps coming any closer together all night long. Then Moses stretched out his hand over the sea. But the LORD was displeased with Beltway and elected to emphasize his power to all the Israelites. And the LORD swept the sea with a strong east wind throughout the night and so turned it into dry land. When the water was thus divided, the Israelites marched into the midst of the sea on dry land, with the water like a wall to their right and to their left.

The Egyptians followed in pursuit; all Pharaoh's horses and chariots and charioteers went after them right into the midst of the sea. In the night watch just before dawn the LORD cast through the column of the fiery cloud upon the Egyptian force a glance that threw it into a panic; and he so clogged their chariot wheels that they could hardly drive. With that the Egyptians sounded the retreat before Israel, because the LORD was fighting for them against the Egyptians.

Then the LORD told Moses, "Stretch out your hand over the sea, that the water may flow back upon the Egyptians, upon their chariots and their charioteers." But Beltway again protested, urging Moses to stay his hand because the dry land made travel far easier than the long journeys required to use alternative routes. "Surely the LORD would not have you rob the world of this useful bypass route!" The LORD was again displeased and told Moses, "I would not use AI to provide a long-term solution to Pharaoh's pursuit problem. If Pharaoh wishes to follow you, let his successor construct his own bridge, and let him provide his own funding." So Moses stretched out his hand over the sea, and at dawn the sea flowed back to its normal depth. The Egyptians were fleeing head on toward the sea, when the LORD hurled them into its midst. As the water flowed back, it covered the chariots and the charioteers of Pharaoh's whole army which had followed the Israelites into the sea. Not a single one of them escaped. But the Israelites had marched on dry land through the midst of the sea, with the water like a wall to their right and to their left. Thus the LORD saved Israel on that day from the power of the Egyptians. When Israel saw the Egyptians lying dead on the seashore and beheld the great power that the LORD had shown against the Egyptians, they all, except Beltway, feared the LORD and believed in him and in his servant Moses. But, displeased with Beltway's non-belief, the LORD told Moses, "You thought you would have an easy journey after crossing the sea, but because of Beltway's attempts to put me to the test, you will wander the desert for 40 years, during which you shall never see a new bridge across the sea."

[kphoger]

The LORD ... would not use AI

℟  Amen.

[kphoger]

3/16: In honor of 3 16, write a fictitious Bible (or other religious text) verse about roads.

Sorry, I forgot this was supposed to be "worst".  Try this instead...

Exodus 20:3.1
You shall have no other fonts on signs besides Helvetica Condensed.

[wanderer2575]

3/16: In honor of 3 16, write a fictitious Bible (or other religious text) verse about roads.

The state DOT is my shepherd; I shall not want.

They maketh me to take naps in a cramped car during long road trips; they leadeth me into the still traffic (due to multiple lanes closed ahead).

They restoreth my desire to take photos of new route assemblies; they leadeth me in the paths of resurfaced and realigned highways for their name's sake.

Yea, though I drive through the canyon of Glenwood, I will fear no traffic mishaps.  For thou art with me; thy cold patch trucks and thy snow plows, they comfort me.

Thou preparest an unannounced detour before me in the presence of mine carefully-timed plans; thou anointest my vehicle's paint job with flying gravel from the two-bit county road; my impatience and temper runneth over.

Surely truck stop dining and talk of whether I-69 will ever be finished shall follow me all the free moments of my life, and I will dwell in the project plan website of the state DOT forever.

[kphoger]

The state DOT is my shepherd; I shall not want.

Thy rotten staff they come for me.

[kphoger]

Then the LORD told Moses,

And |kernals12| starts a forum topic:  Researchers at the University of Eastwest Boscoria have developed a new technology utilizing Moses' staff and the angel of God to dramatically reduce the cost of ...

[LilianaUwU]

3/16: In honor of 3 16, write a fictitious Bible (or other religious text) verse about roads.

Thou shalt use the beg button if you're crossing the road on foot at a signal.

[Big John]

3/16: In honor of 3 16, write a fictitious Bible (or other religious text) verse about roads.

The salt of the earth shalt cover thy roads in winter.

[xonhulu]

3/16: In honor of 3 16, write a fictitious Bible (or other religious text) verse about roads.

The Testament of Xon Hulu

Yea, though I am but a Miserable Sinner, who still driveth a chariot that befouls the very air with the devil's fumes, I embarked on a pilgrim's journey seeking the Salvation held by John 3:16.  On the Pathway of the Five I set my course; through the Land of Ports and into the Realm of George I journeyed; braving the very Armpit of Satan (known to the local peasantry as Tacoma); until at long last I arrived at the Towne of Bremer, and beheld the Shrine to 3:16 I sought.  The scribes recorded it thusly:



Casting about, I beheld the local pub (Jimmy D's Bar & Grill: Great Wings, 4.2 / 5 Stars of Bethlehem in the Book of Google). Upon entry, I beseeched the Innkeeper therein, "Where canst I find John of 3:16, that I may learn how to gain the Lord's favor?"

The man merely grunted "John's over there" in his heathen tongue; imparted to me the Key to that shrine bound by silver chain to a sceptre of wood and rubber; and with a gesture made plain the Path I sought. I trembled as I loosened the bolt that held fast the barrier to the Holy of Holies within, and I threw open the Door with expectant joy!

But then the Lord made His displeasure of me immediately known, as He had already Visited upon that Foul Chamber all the Ten Plagues of Egypt and several more. Great indeed must have been my Sin to be consigned to that particular Circle of Perdition!  Better the fate of Gomorrah had befallen me than the unspeakable Aroma of Evil that assailed my senses that day.  I could but stumble back out to my chariot, foaming at the mouth and speaking in tongues Most Profane, as I set forth on the Pathway of the Five back to my Unworthy Home.

Alas, Wisdom was denied me that day. But I did gain the Portrait of 3:16 to be played in the Game of X-Y in the Roads of AA, so all was not lost.

Thus ends the Testament of Xon Hulu.

[The_Ginger]

But I did gain the Portrait of 3:16 to be played in the Game of X-Y in the Roads of AA, so all was not lost.

Can we call this website the "Roads of AA" now?

[PNWRoadgeek]

3/16: In honor of 3 16, write a fictitious Bible (or other religious text) verse about roads.

Alan.

Please.

Make me Grand Alan.

[kurumi]

3/16: In honor of 3 16, write a fictitious Bible (or other religious text) verse about roads.

2 Kings 2:23-25

²³ Elisha went from that city (Danbury) to Bethel. He was walking up the hill to the city, and some boys were coming down out of the city. He asked the boys if he was still on US 202. They began making fun of him. They said, "Go away, you bald-headed man! This has been Route 53 for years now!"
²⁴ Elisha looked back and saw them. He asked the Lord to cause bad things to happen to them. Then two bears came out of Cumberland Farms and attacked the boys. There were 42 boys ripped apart by the bears.

(original: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2%20Kings%202:23-25&version=ERV)

[kphoger]

Can we call this website the "Roads of AA" now?

Go ahead.  Nothing has been stopping you this whole time.

[The_Ginger]

17 MAR 2026
Saint Patrick's Day

Today is Saint Patrick's Day. How can we use the color green to better enhance our roads and driving experience?

[1995hoo]

17 MAR 2026
Saint Patrick's Day

Today is Saint Patrick's Day. How can we use the color green to better enhance our roads and driving experience?

When a traffic light changes to signal that it's time to go, it will flash green five times, and a new audio feature will cause the traffic light to yell out, "Green green green green green!" in time with the flashes. This will assist both phone-obsessed drivers who aren't paying attention, color-blind drivers who may not be able to discern the color, and blind drivers who can't see anything.

This feature will be modified for traffic lights in Owensboro, Kentucky. Lights there will flash green three times and the audio will yell, "Boogity, boogity, boogity! Let's get moving, boys!"

[Big John]

17 MAR 2026
Saint Patrick's Day

Today is Saint Patrick's Day. How can we use the color green to better enhance our roads and driving experience?

All signs need to be light green on dark green.

[ModernDayWarrior]

But I did gain the Portrait of 3:16 to be played in the Game of X-Y in the Roads of AA, so all was not lost.

Can we call this website the "Roads of AA" now?

Yes, but you have to pronounce it "Roads of Ahhh" when you say it out loud.

[Max Rockatansky]

17 MAR 2026
Saint Patrick's Day

Today is Saint Patrick's Day. How can we use the color green to better enhance our roads and driving experience?

Make California spades yellow since they also tested well for visibility in snowy and foggy conditions. 

[PColumbus73]

17 MAR 2026
Saint Patrick's Day

Today is Saint Patrick's Day. How can we use the color green to better enhance our roads and driving experience?

Change the lane markings to the following shades:

Puke green: Prohibited movements

Light green: Permissive movements

[kphoger]

3/16: In honor of 3 16, write a fictitious Bible (or other religious text) verse about roads.

Some selections from the Illinois Compiled Proverbs (ILCP):

When the rains come, the fool lets his headlights shine before men
  and burns them long into the morning;
But the wise conceal themselves within the storm
  and extinguish their lights at break of dawn.

Change not your clocks when summer turns to autumn,
  nor sleep an extra hour when cold winds begin to blow:
The sky will be bright for your early morning commute,
  but such light is fleeting for the moment,
  and you will be plunged into darkness
  for your evening journey home.

A freeway without a federal shield is like a man without a family:
Though many travel by, none will visit him.