Daily conversation: What is the worst possible answer?

[The_Ginger]

24 FEB 2026

I struggle with driving long distances, but I have an 850-mile drive coming up.  Any tips to make it go well?

Use a TBM (see Mary from the HRBT) to tunnel through the Earth to get to your destination. You'll have to drive through the newly completed tunnel, but on the bright side, you'll get to name it!

[pderocco]

24 FEB 2026

I struggle with driving long distances, but I have an 850-mile drive coming up.  Any tips to make it go well?

If you want someone else to do the driving, stick your thumb out.

[kphoger]

If you want someone else to do the driving, stick your thumb out.

The farthest I've ever hitchhiked in one day was about 500 miles, from Menominee to Paw Paw (Michigan).  If memory serves, I did it in four rides—with a break along the way while my driver had a business meeting, plus a quick nap outside a church in between rides—and never had to wait longer than about fifteen minutes for a ride.  That was probably better success than most hitchhiking trips.

If you don't care to look halfway decent, a lot of people simply don't want you in their car.  I once saw a shabby looking guy and his dog hitchhiking from the on-ramp of IL-37 to EB I-64 and, when I drove by the next day, he was still there.  Personally, I've never waited longer than an hour and a half, but there were a couple of times I switched plans and opted for public transportation instead.

[Dirt Roads]

24 FEB 2026

I struggle with driving long distances, but I have an 850-mile drive coming up.  Any tips to make it go well?

Use a TBM (see Mary from the HRBT) to tunnel through the Earth to get to your destination. You'll have to drive through the newly completed tunnel, but on the bright side, you'll get to name it!

I heard that Elon Musk has a bunch of 8-foot TBM machines from the early days of the Boring Company that would let you drive through with an old MG Midget.  I suspect that he forgot to add fresh air to his small bore tunnels, so you might need to bring your own oxygen tanks.

[kphoger]

I heard that Elon Musk has a bunch of 8-foot TBM machines from the early days of the Boring Company that would let you drive through with an old MG Midget.  I suspect that he forgot to add fresh air to his small bore tunnels, so you might need to bring your own oxygen tanks.

You can't just do the old freight hopping trick of soaking a couple of handkerchiefs in water to breathe through?

[freebrickproductions]

2-25-26:
Given all of the issues folks have been having with it over the past-*checks notes*-decade and then some, what should we replace Google Maps with?

[NE2]

2-25-26:
Given all of the issues folks have been having with it over the past-*checks notes*-decade and then some, what should we replace Google Maps with?

Carrier dolphins.

[MikeTheActuary]

2-25-26:
Given all of the issues folks have been having with it over the past-*checks notes*-decade and then some, what should we replace Google Maps with?

AAA Triptiks.

[Scott5114]

24 FEB 2026

I struggle with driving long distances, but I have an 850-mile drive coming up.  Any tips to make it go well?

trebuchet

[1995hoo]

2-25-26:
Given all of the issues folks have been having with it over the past-*checks notes*-decade and then some, what should we replace Google Maps with?

"Road information" type signs. People can stop and read them when they need directions. Here are two in Fairfax City, Virginia. Another example of a more common style might be this one south of Ridgway, Pennsylvania.

Too much information to read at a glance? Too bad. Pull over and stop the car and study the sign for as long as you need.

(I am trying to envision what this sort of sign might look like for the Springfield Interchange in Virginia or the Golden Glades Interchange in Florida.)

[akotchi]

2-25-26:
Given all of the issues folks have been having with it over the past-*checks notes*-decade and then some, what should we replace Google Maps with?

Full-size library globes.

[Big John]

2-25-26:
Given all of the issues folks have been having with it over the past-*checks notes*-decade and then some, what should we replace Google Maps with?

Old named route maps before routes were numbered.

[I-55]

2-25-26:
Given all of the issues folks have been having with it over the past-*checks notes*-decade and then some, what should we replace Google Maps with?

RadarScope's basemap

[hotdogPi]

2-25-26:
Given all of the issues folks have been having with it over the past-*checks notes*-decade and then some, what should we replace Google Maps with?

Flock Maps (yes, that company)

Alternatively:

https://what3words.com/take.next.highway

[Max Rockatansky]

2-25-26:
Given all of the issues folks have been having with it over the past-*checks notes*-decade and then some, what should we replace Google Maps with?

Inquire about road conditions locally

[kphoger]

LineDrive, by MapBlast

https://graphics.stanford.edu/papers/routemaps/

https://graphics.stanford.edu/papers/routemaps/rtmaps.pdf

2-25-26:
Given all of the issues folks have been having with it over the past-*checks notes*-decade and then some, what should we replace Google Maps with?

[xonhulu]

2-25-26:
Given all of the issues folks have been having with it over the past-*checks notes*-decade and then some, what should we replace Google Maps with?

A magical direction-giving pixie that lives in your car's glove box, subsisting on whatever Taco Bell sauce packets you toss in there.

[GaryV]

2-25-26:
Given all of the issues folks have been having with it over the past-*checks notes*-decade and then some, what should we replace Google Maps with?

A Mother-in-Law in the back seat.

[kurumi]

2-25-26:
Given all of the issues folks have been having with it over the past-*checks notes*-decade and then some, what should we replace Google Maps with?

Tiktok maps. Some of the new features:

* Highways give me the ick; use backroads only
* Tell me you're turning left without telling me you're turning left
* Freeway closed northbound; a motorist was unalived and traffic is gonna be goofy ahh

[JayhawkCO]

2-25-26:
Given all of the issues folks have been having with it over the past-*checks notes*-decade and then some, what should we replace Google Maps with?

Styrofoam cups and string to be able to talk to someone at home who's looking at an atlas.

[PNWRoadgeek]

2-25-26:
Given all of the issues folks have been having with it over the past-*checks notes*-decade and then some, what should we replace Google Maps with?

A fork, considering it will point us in the correct direction.

[The_Ginger]

2-25-26:
Given all of the issues folks have been having with it over the past-*checks notes*-decade and then some, what should we replace Google Maps with?

Nothing. Follow the route numbers and pray your friend displays his house number publicly on a yard stake or door.

[TheCatalyst31]

2-25-26:
Given all of the issues folks have been having with it over the past-*checks notes*-decade and then some, what should we replace Google Maps with?

ChatGPT Maps. It gives great directions until you realize the "road" you turned onto was a hallucination and your car is headed straight into a river.

[kphoger]

ChatGPT Maps

You win this round.

[PNWRoadgeek]

ChatGPT Maps

You win this round.

Safely agreed