Some things to ponder

Started by hm insulators, August 18, 2016, 05:19:13 PM

Previous topic - Next topic
Print
Go Down Pages 1 2 3
User actions

CNGL-Leudimin

#50
November 29, 2016, 04:26:47 PM  
Do a trillion (10^12) microphones make up a megaphone?
Supporter of the construction of several running gags, including I-366 with a speed limit of 85 mph (137 km/h) and the Hypotenuse.

Please note that I may mention "invalid" FM channels, i.e. ending in an even number or down to 87.5. These are valid in Europe.

hm insulators

#51
February 09, 2017, 04:24:11 PM  
Why in the vacuum-cleaner ads does the cord stay meekly and obediently out of the way but when I vacuum the apartment, the cord insists on horning in on the job and it takes a minimum of one hand to hold the cord out of the way so I don't trip over the damn thing?
Remember: If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.

I'd rather be a child of the road than a son of a ditch.


At what age do you tell a highway that it's been adopted?

sparker

#52
February 09, 2017, 04:37:30 PM  
A pickup line guaranteed to get you roundly slapped immediately:

"Nice legs!  What time do they open?"

(courtesy of a close friend who's going through a very bitter divorce)

J N Winkler

#53
February 09, 2017, 04:41:22 PM  
Quote from: hm insulators on February 09, 2017, 04:24:11 PMWhy in the vacuum-cleaner ads does the cord stay meekly and obediently out of the way but when I vacuum the apartment, the cord insists on horning in on the job and it takes a minimum of one hand to hold the cord out of the way so I don't trip over the damn thing?

Two observations:

*  Commercials are almost certainly choreographed (observe cord dress)

*  Most vacuum cleaners have a cord clip underneath the handle that you are supposed to use to avoid stepping on the cord (not that I use it, personally)

When I am vacuuming an oblong space, like a hallway that leads to bedrooms, I often stop midway through just to pull a length of the cord back so that the majority is sitting next to the outlet, away from feet that might step on it.
"It is necessary to spend a hundred lire now to save a thousand lire later."--Piero Puricelli, explaining the need for a first-class road system to Benito Mussolini

1995hoo

#54
February 11, 2017, 10:39:23 AM  
"You know, you never have a guaranteed spot until you have a spot guaranteed."
—Olaf Kolzig, as quoted in the Washington Times on March 28, 2003,
commenting on the Capitals clinching a playoff spot.

"That sounded stupid, didn't it?"
—Kolzig, to the same reporter a few seconds later.

cjk374

#55
February 24, 2017, 06:56:31 PM  
Have the bands Kansas & Toto ever toured together? If they did, would they let Ozzy Osborne join them & name their tour "The Wizard of Oz tour"?
Runnin' roads and polishin' rails.

amroad17

#56
February 25, 2017, 11:26:30 PM  
Quote from: cjk374 on February 24, 2017, 06:56:31 PM
Have the bands Kansas & Toto ever toured together? If they did, would they let Ozzy Osborne join them & name their tour "The Wizard of Oz tour"?
Nice one!  :-D
I don't need a GPS.  I AM the GPS! (for family and friends)

OracleUsr

#57
February 26, 2017, 05:17:01 AM  
I asked this when I turned 40...what kind of wine goes with Metamucil (my mother thought I was asking a riddle rather than poking fun at people who ask what kind of wine goes with different things, and a play on George Carlin's famous question, what kind of wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?)

Observation.  You do realize that the cheese wheel from the Cheez-it commercials is immature as a method of survival, right?
Anti-center-tabbing, anti-sequential-numbering, anti-Clearview BGS FAN

cjk374

#58
February 26, 2017, 11:13:51 AM  
Quote from: OracleUsr on February 26, 2017, 05:17:01 AM
Observation.  You do realize that the cheese wheel from the Cheez-it commercials is immature as a method of survival, right?

This is also true of us who are approaching the crest of the hill. I tell everyone that I refuse to age. I try to do fun things that seem immature but it helps me feel a bit younger. I try to ignore the signs of aging. However, I have to stay aware of the changes so I can try to stay ahead of any possible problems.

I'm 43 now...I tell people I plan on living til I am around 120 (if Jacob can do it, so can I  :bigass:). But I want my old age to be active, not sedentary in a bed waiting to die.  So I will continue to do things that make me feel young until I can't do anything at all.
Runnin' roads and polishin' rails.
Print
Go Up Pages 1 2 3
User actions