Worst toys you had

[bandit957]

I took good care of toys growing up, because we weren't made of money, but let me be frank: Some toys were stinkers.

I think the all-time worst might have been Domino Rally. I had the regular (not deluxe) version, but you should see the negative comments every version gets. This is a toy that consisted of plastic dominoes and little ramps and tracks that you can supposedly use to build cool domino setups. But the snaps on the dominoes were very easily broken, which ruined them for good by making them unusable in the ramps.

Do an online search for the bad comments this toy has been getting for years.

One of the most dangerous toys I remember was the Lunar Launcher. It was a toy that had little plastic discs that you could fire into the air, and they'd fly for incredible distances. It was dangerous because the discs had to be turned manually, and they'd often go off in your hand.

[Max Rockatansky]

Erector Sets certainly sucked if you lost either the directions or even most minor piece.  Attempting to build things with no directions as a kid was almost impossible.  It didn't take long until I found Lego sets with mechanical elements that were way more forgiving and really easier to build from memory. 

Speaking of shitty toys my did get one of these as a re-gift one year.   

Doesn't sound much more appealing with a healthy set of batteries:

[ce929wax]

I guess this would be the worst Christmas gift I ever got, more than it is a sucky toy, but it is the only thing that stands out.  One year I got a bunch of those peg puzzles you see at like Cracker Barrell from my dad.  I was around 12 or so, and it is the only gift I remember getting that as soon as I opened it, I threw it in the trash.

My original Nintendo kind of sucked too, because you had to constantly blow on the cartridges to get them to work, but at least I could it to work most of the time and it was fun when it did work.

[GaryV]

Worst toy in my household was for my twin sons.  My brother bought them battery-operated fire trucks that drove around flashing lights and sounding an annoying siren.  It might have been OK had there been one of them.  But when both of them played with the trucks at the same time, the sirens were slightly out of audio sync.

Maybe that's why my brother never had kids - we vowed revenge!

[Max Rockatansky]

I guess this would be the worst Christmas gift I ever got, more than it is a sucky toy, but it is the only thing that stands out.  One year I got a bunch of those peg puzzles you see at like Cracker Barrell from my dad.  I was around 12 or so, and it is the only gift I remember getting that as soon as I opened it, I threw it in the trash.

My original Nintendo kind of sucked too, because you had to constantly blow on the cartridges to get them to work, but at least I could it to work most of the time and it was fun when it did work.

The NES 2 essentially didn't have that problem.  The issue was that that VCR like tray wouldn't line up the pins or would bend them.   Blowing into the game just increased conductivity from the salvia.  All those companies saying it was dust were full of shit. 

[LM117]

My original Nintendo kind of sucked too, because you had to constantly blow on the cartridges to get them to work, but at least I could it to work most of the time and it was fun when it did work.

I got an SNES for Christmas in 1994 and it wasn't until about 10 years ago that it started having the same problems. Another issue was when the battery paks in the cartridges would die, which meant that you couldn't save your games anymore. Last year, I was lucky enough to find a mini SNES Classic at Walmart. My original SNES still fires up, though.

I got an N64 in 1999 and surprisingly, the cartridges haven't really been an issue, but the controller joysticks were shit.

The worst Nintendo console I had was the GameCube. I got one for Christmas in 2001 and it lasted about 3 years and then it suddenly stopped reading discs, even those that were brand new. I got another new GameCube in 2004 and that one didn't even make it to 3 years before it stopped reading discs. I did some research online and apparently GameCubes were notorious for that. I gave up and got a Wii in 2009, which still works great today.

The GameCube had great games and controllers, but the console was shit.

[Max Rockatansky]

My original Nintendo kind of sucked too, because you had to constantly blow on the cartridges to get them to work, but at least I could it to work most of the time and it was fun when it did work.

I got an SNES for Christmas in 1994 and it wasn't until about 10 years ago that it started having the same problems. Another issue was when the battery paks in the cartridges would die, which meant that you couldn't save your games anymore. Last year, I was lucky enough to find a mini SNES Classic at Walmart. My original SNES still fires up, though.

I got an N64 in 1999 and surprisingly, the cartridges haven't really been an issue, but the controller joysticks were shit.

The worst Nintendo console I had was the GameCube. I got one for Christmas in 2001 and it lasted about 3 years and then it suddenly stopped reading discs, even those that were brand new. I got another new GameCube in 2004 and that one didn't even make it to 3 years before it stopped reading discs. I did some research online and apparently GameCubes were notorious for that. I gave up and got a Wii in 2009, which still works great today.

The GameCube had great games and controllers, but the console was shit.

That's why emulation is awesome you don't have to worry about lithium ion batteries dying and losing your data.  With then NES you had to hold reset while powering off otherwise the game might erase the stored data.  That sucked ass playing games like Final Fantasy or the Dragon Warrior series. 

[roadman]

Erector Sets certainly sucked if you lost either the directions or even most minor piece.  Attempting to build things with no directions as a kid was almost impossible.

I had a hand-me down off-brand (not Gilbert) Erector set that had no instructions.  The motor was missing (I discovered years later that my father had thrown it out after it blew the fuse for the living room wall outlets), but I had fun building other things, mostly bridges, with it.

And you're right about older LEGO sets, which were simply a bunch of standardized pieces.  With a bit of imagination, you could take the basic pieces and make almost anything.  The problem with todays LEGO sets, apart from being way too expensive for what they are, is that they are too specialized with far too many custom pieces.  If you lose a few of those pieces, you can't complete the specific model the set is for.

[bandit957]

I remember a 'Sesame Street' toy that consisted only of embossed images of lovable Muppet characters. The object of this toy was to rub a crayon on a sheet of paper with the embossed images underneath.

Big wow.

I guess I was too old for this toy when I had it, but I was very, very young (maybe 4). So it must not have been a very impressive toy at all.

[bandit957]

I always thought the Magic Slate was a good toy, but they'd wear out after a while. These were very inexpensive toys you'd get at drugstores and stuff. They consisted of a sheet of plastic that had this wax-like backing. You'd draw on it with a special pencil, and erase it just by lifting the sheet. When I was about 4, I think I had a Bugs Bunny slate and a Bert and Ernie slate. I remember one time, my dad used one of these slates to draw a sketch of the Number Painter from 'Sesame Street', and I thought it was hilarious!

[roadman]

The mid-1960s versions of the Kenner Bridge and Turnpike building sets were generally OK.  However, both the roadway sections and cross braces were not solid plastic, but vaccu-formed pieces.  As a result, they would easily break over time - especially the mounting holes on the roadway pieces.  Also, the 'gutter to gutter' width on the roadway sections would work for the smaller Tootsietoy cars and trucks, but was too narrow for most Matchbox cars of the era.

Final production of these sets (about 1967) substituted 'U' shaped stamped metal footings for the Masonite footings originally provided, which made the bridges wobbly.

[kendancy66]

I don't remember exactly what it was called,  but best described as NFL electronic football game.  I consisted of metal field that was electric and vibrated.  You line up the tiny plastic players, and the quarterback held a felt football, Then you turned on the field, and the players would vribrate around, and you would try to "throw" the football by moving the arm of the quarterback.  Probably the only redeeming quality was being able to replicate your favorite NFL team using stick on numbers.

[LM117]

My original Nintendo kind of sucked too, because you had to constantly blow on the cartridges to get them to work, but at least I could it to work most of the time and it was fun when it did work.

I got an SNES for Christmas in 1994 and it wasn't until about 10 years ago that it started having the same problems. Another issue was when the battery paks in the cartridges would die, which meant that you couldn't save your games anymore. Last year, I was lucky enough to find a mini SNES Classic at Walmart. My original SNES still fires up, though.

I got an N64 in 1999 and surprisingly, the cartridges haven't really been an issue, but the controller joysticks were shit.

The worst Nintendo console I had was the GameCube. I got one for Christmas in 2001 and it lasted about 3 years and then it suddenly stopped reading discs, even those that were brand new. I got another new GameCube in 2004 and that one didn't even make it to 3 years before it stopped reading discs. I did some research online and apparently GameCubes were notorious for that. I gave up and got a Wii in 2009, which still works great today.

The GameCube had great games and controllers, but the console was shit.

That's why emulation is awesome you don't have to worry about lithium ion batteries dying and losing your data.  With then NES you had to hold reset while powering off otherwise the game might erase the stored data.  That sucked ass playing games like Final Fantasy or the Dragon Warrior series.

Agreed.

[roadman]

I don't remember exactly what it was called,  but best described as NFL electronic football game.  I consisted of metal field that was electric and vibrated.  You line up the tiny plastic players, and the quarterback held a felt football, Then you turned on the field, and the players would vribrate around, and you would try to "throw" the football by moving the arm of the quarterback.  Probably the only redeeming quality was being able to replicate your favorite NFL team using stick on numbers.

My brothers had a baseball version of this.  The runners would vibrate along a plastic track between the bases.  On the outfield fence was a catapult-like device you used to "pitch" the ball to the batter.  If the batter hit the ball, you turned on the field to make the runners move.

[Beltway]

I don't remember exactly what it was called,  but best described as NFL electronic football game.  I consisted of metal field that was electric and vibrated.  You line up the tiny plastic players, and the quarterback held a felt football, Then you turned on the field, and the players would vribrate around, and you would try to "throw" the football by moving the arm of the quarterback.  Probably the only redeeming quality was being able to replicate your favorite NFL team using stick on numbers.

I remember that. 

What was puzzling was how it was supposed to emulate a real football game.

[dlsterner]

I don't remember exactly what it was called,  but best described as NFL electronic football game.  I consisted of metal field that was electric and vibrated.  You line up the tiny plastic players, and the quarterback held a felt football, Then you turned on the field, and the players would vribrate around, and you would try to "throw" the football by moving the arm of the quarterback.  Probably the only redeeming quality was being able to replicate your favorite NFL team using stick on numbers.

Oh gosh, I had both the football and baseball ones as a kid back in the early 1970's.  They looked so cool in the Sears catalog!  But when we got one, we found out just how lame they were.  But it was kind of hilarious to line up both teams in a legitimate scrimmage, just to turn on the power and watch them all move in totally random directions.

If I recall, the quarterback had an arm that could be used to sling the felt "football" around, and a snap/release foot that could be used to kick the ball.

[inkyatari]

The mid-1960s versions of the Kenner Bridge and Turnpike building sets were generally OK.  However, both the roadway sections and cross braces were not solid plastic, but vaccu-formed pieces.  As a result, they would easily break over time - especially the mounting holes on the roadway pieces.  Also, the 'gutter to gutter' width on the roadway sections would work for the smaller Tootsietoy cars and trucks, but was too narrow for most Matchbox cars of the era.

Final production of these sets (about 1967) substituted 'U' shaped stamped metal footings for the Masonite footings originally provided, which made the bridges wobbly.

I think these were under the Girder and Panel brand.  I had a few road sets, and an airport set.  My uncle had a set with a lot of pipes and motors that was pretty cool.  THe problem with these is that the tabs on the girders and poles tended to snap off easily.  Still had fun with it though.

[TheGrassGuy]

Some McDonald's toy shaped like a flip phone, where the screen showed an ocean, and the goal was to pump the buttons to catch little plastic rings on poles sticking out. I remember my friend and I looking at the buttons at the bottom, joking that we got a "glasses point" every time we scored once in a row, an "ABC point" every time we scored twice in a row, and so on.

It was quite foolish in retrospect to have been obsessing for hours with my friend over something that really was not much more than a cheap artificial trinket.  Ah, the good old days...

[TheGrassGuy]

My original Nintendo kind of sucked too, because you had to constantly blow on the cartridges to get them to work, but at least I could it to work most of the time and it was fun when it did work.

I got an SNES for Christmas in 1994 and it wasn't until about 10 years ago that it started having the same problems. Another issue was when the battery paks in the cartridges would die, which meant that you couldn't save your games anymore. Last year, I was lucky enough to find a mini SNES Classic at Walmart. My original SNES still fires up, though.

I got an N64 in 1999 and surprisingly, the cartridges haven't really been an issue, but the controller joysticks were shit.

The worst Nintendo console I had was the GameCube. I got one for Christmas in 2001 and it lasted about 3 years and then it suddenly stopped reading discs, even those that were brand new. I got another new GameCube in 2004 and that one didn't even make it to 3 years before it stopped reading discs. I did some research online and apparently GameCubes were notorious for that. I gave up and got a Wii in 2009, which still works great today.

The GameCube had great games and controllers, but the console was shit.

That's why emulation is awesome you don't have to worry about lithium ion batteries dying and losing your data.  With then NES you had to hold reset while powering off otherwise the game might erase the stored data.  That sucked ass playing games like Final Fantasy or the Dragon Warrior series.

Agreed.

Speaking of baseball, this might not count since it isn't so much of a toy, really, but I always found the baseball minigame of Wii Sports to be incredibly stupid. If you're familiar with Wii Sports then you might have an idea of what I'm talking about, but to make a long story short, there was no running, the only thing that mattered was the ball's trajectory, and hitting the ball into the audience apparently always caused a home run.

[roadman]

The mid-1960s versions of the Kenner Bridge and Turnpike building sets were generally OK.  However, both the roadway sections and cross braces were not solid plastic, but vaccu-formed pieces.  As a result, they would easily break over time - especially the mounting holes on the roadway pieces.  Also, the 'gutter to gutter' width on the roadway sections would work for the smaller Tootsietoy cars and trucks, but was too narrow for most Matchbox cars of the era.

Final production of these sets (about 1967) substituted 'U' shaped stamped metal footings for the Masonite footings originally provided, which made the bridges wobbly.

I think these were under the Girder and Panel brand.  I had a few road sets, and an airport set.  My uncle had a set with a lot of pipes and motors that was pretty cool.  THe problem with these is that the tabs on the girders and poles tended to snap off easily.  Still had fun with it though.

The 1964 Bridge and Turnpike sets (#24, # 25, #26, and #26C) were part of the Girder and Panel family, but were marketed as Kenner Freeway USA Bridge and Turnpike.  Apart from the two combined Girder and Panel/Bridge and Turnpike sets (#27 and #28)  - with which you could build an airport (but it wasn't marketed as such at the time), Girder and Panel wasn't added to the name of the 'bridge and turnpike only sets until a simpler set was reintroduced (as Girder and Panel Bridge and Highway) in the mid-1970s.  The International Airport was introduced as a separate set at that time as well.  Sears offered variations of the mid-1970s sets under the Little Learners name as well, and also offered a limited edition Worlds Greatest Buildings set when the Sears Tower in Chicago opened.

[US 89]

I don't remember exactly what it was called,  but best described as NFL electronic football game.  I consisted of metal field that was electric and vibrated.  You line up the tiny plastic players, and the quarterback held a felt football, Then you turned on the field, and the players would vribrate around, and you would try to "throw" the football by moving the arm of the quarterback.  Probably the only redeeming quality was being able to replicate your favorite NFL team using stick on numbers.

Oh gosh, I had both the football and baseball ones as a kid back in the early 1970's.  They looked so cool in the Sears catalog!  But when we got one, we found out just how lame they were.  But it was kind of hilarious to line up both teams in a legitimate scrimmage, just to turn on the power and watch them all move in totally random directions.

If I recall, the quarterback had an arm that could be used to sling the felt "football" around, and a snap/release foot that could be used to kick the ball.

I had something like this as well. Mostly what I remember was the rule that if the ball fell off the player that was "carrying" it, it was a fumble and the ball would just sit there while you waited for another player to randomly move into it. Usually what would happen was after at least 30 seconds, your own player would pick it up and move back into the end zone for a safety.

You could also run two different "plays", which I guess were slightly different vibration patterns. They had the same effect of randomly moving the players around.

[PHLBOS]

Doesn't sound much more appealing with a healthy set of batteries:

Maybe I'm showing my age, but those dolls resemble the Talking Tina doll from the original Twilight Zone.

I don't remember exactly what it was called, but best described as NFL electronic football game.  It consisted of metal field that was electric and vibrated.  You line up the tiny plastic players, and the quarterback held a felt football, Then you turned on the field, and the players would vibrate around, and you would try to "throw" the football by moving the arm of the quarterback.  Probably the only redeeming quality was being able to replicate your favorite NFL team using stick on numbers.

I got that as a Christmas gift way back when.

[US71]

Whizzer tops

[Paulinator66]

I was just talking about this topic the other day.  For me it was the Vertibird

I remember begging for that thing and, when I finally got it, it was the most useless piece of crap ever invented.

[roadman]

I was just talking about this topic the other day.  For me it was the Vertibird

I remember begging for that thing and, when I finally got it, it was the most useless piece of crap ever invented.

One year, three of my friends and I all got VertiBirds for Christmas.  And they all had the same basic flaw.  After about 45 minutes of operation, the solder joint connecting the spring in the center console to the rotating rod in the arm (this is what drove the rotor in the copter) broke.  Despite my father's best efforts with his soldering iron, we never managed to reconnect it.