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Getting people around you attention.

Started by roadman65, September 06, 2024, 04:30:36 PM

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roadman65

Mr Price in High School once said the average adult does not pay attention to what is said to them including the class I was in.  He proved his point by submitting riddles where the answer is obvious but, nonetheless, we all didn't answer it correctly.  Mr. Price exclaimed that the human mind naturally doesn't pay attention for whatever reason including the classroom.

Of course I always thought that my spectrum issue was enough for people not to pay attention, but as I got older I realized that most people are preoccupied with something or just not paying attention because of what Mr. Price prove which is kind of a relief as I know that it's not always me.  However, I should realized that if no one responds to your topic or question they probably didn't hear you. I made that mistake with my sister.

When I was hard up with cash many years ago, she told me that I should submit to her my bills like electric and water to her especially before her trip to Europe where she would be busy.  Well, I had informed her I misplaced the electric, but had called up the power company and the amount was $135. I informed her I have one better as I already know the exact amount. So I told her.  However she never grabbed a pen and paper to write it down or acknowledge that she now knows it's automatically $135. I thought that only a moron with a half a brain ( or myself) wouldn't hear the $135 as I misplaced the bill. 

Well I found out the hard way when I came home one particular evening to find the lights out and no power. When I confronted my sister on the phone in Europe why she ignored the $135 bill. She blamed me for the mishap as she never got the bill from me when I was asked to present it furthermore causing me of not paying attention to her when she asked me to give her all the bills despite me telling her the misplaced electric bill and verbally stating exactly what it was twice.

I should have realized that she didn't hear me and get her to verbally acknowledge to me she understands and it's $135.  Instead I assumed I was the only human ignorant of what is said and that everyone else on the planet comprehends what is said.

How do you in general deal with others who don't pay attention in urgent or non urgent matters?  I hate treating others like morons or worse yet feel uncomfortable for having to get their attention when there is no other distractions around to prevent them from hearin you.
Every day is a winding road, you just got to get used to it.

Sheryl Crowe


JayhawkCO

I get things in writing and follow up incessantly. That's why I make a good project manager.

Max Rockatansky

Documentation and follow up.  It is pretty unlikely that you'll find someone who can be given a simple instruction once and be able to follow through nearly one hundred percent of the time. 

1995hoo

This type of thing is the sort of reason why people send the sort of e-mail message variously known as "confirmatory" or as "CYA."
"You know, you never have a guaranteed spot until you have a spot guaranteed."
—Olaf Kolzig, as quoted in the Washington Times on March 28, 2003,
commenting on the Capitals clinching a playoff spot.

"That sounded stupid, didn't it?"
—Kolzig, to the same reporter a few seconds later.

Rothman

I don't know.  Just telling someone an amount without sending them the bill or otherwise documenting it seems to be a recipe for it not to be paid.  If I just had an amount, figuring out how to pay a bill for someone else just based upon that would be daunting and have a high risk of failure even if I called the company with the address or whatnot, especially with how companies automatically tie accounts to phone numbers ("I'm not trying to pay my bill...can I get a real person on the phone?").  That's not a matter of not paying attention; that's just a poor process to ensure that the task'll actually get done.

Like others have said, if you want someone else to do something for you, you have to lay it out for them what you want done exactly (best verbally and in writing, in either order) and sometimes even how for tasks they're not experienced in at all.  And then, follow up to make sure it was done.
Please note: All comments here represent my own personal opinion and do not reflect the official position(s) of NYSDOT.



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