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Author Topic: Is your poo cool?  (Read 6654 times)

hbelkins

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Is your poo cool?
« on: July 03, 2014, 10:29:13 AM »

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agentsteel53

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Re: Is your poo cool?
« Reply #1 on: July 03, 2014, 10:48:22 AM »

"sausage-shaped, smooth and soft" may be optimal except when it's 12 inches long and just plain refuses to go down the hatch.

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SteveG1988

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Re: Is your poo cool?
« Reply #2 on: July 03, 2014, 12:09:30 PM »

"sausage-shaped, smooth and soft" may be optimal except when it's 12 inches long and just plain refuses to go down the hatch.



the sperate hard lumps should be called depth charges. Like little bombs going in, exploding the water
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Re: Is your poo cool?
« Reply #3 on: July 03, 2014, 07:05:23 PM »

"sausage-shaped, smooth and soft" may be optimal except when it's 12 inches long and just plain refuses to go down the hatch.
the sperate hard lumps should be called depth charges. Like little bombs going in, exploding the water

Without further adoo-doo:
Quote
THE DEFINITIVE POOP LIST

THE GHOST POOP
 The kind where you feel poop come out, see poop on the toilet paper, but there's no poop in the bowl.
 
THE CLEAN POOP
 The kind where you feel poop come out, see poop in the bowl, but there's no poop on the toilet paper.
 
THE WET POOP
 You wipe your ass fifty times and it still feels un-wiped. So you end up putting toilet paper between your ass and your underwear so you don't ruin them with skidmarks.
 
THE SECOND WAVE POOP
 This poop happens when you've finished, your pants are up to your knees, and you suddenly realize you have to poop some more.
 
THE BRAIN HEMORRHAGE THROUGH YOUR NOSE POOP
  Also known as "Pop a Vein in your Forehead Poop." You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke.
 
THE CORN POOP
  No explanation necessary.
 
THE LINCOLN LOG POOP
  The kind of poop that's so enormous you're afraid to flush it down without first breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush.
 
THE NOTORIOUS DRINKER POOP
  The kind of poop you have the morning after a long night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the tread mark left on the bottom of the toilet bowl after you flush.
 
THE "GEE, I REALLY WISH I COULD POOP" POOP
  The kind where you want to poop, but even after straining your guts out, all you do is sit on the toilet, cramped and farting.
 
THE WET CHEEKS POOP
  Also known as the "Power Dump." The kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.
 
THE LIQUID POOP
  The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, splashes all over the side of the toilet bowl and, at the same time, burns your tender poop-chute.
 
THE MEXICAN FOOD POOP
  A class all its own.
 
THE CROWD PLEASER
  A poop is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone before flushing.
 
THE MOOD ENHANCER
  Occurring after a lengthy period of constipation, this poop allows you to be your old self again.
 
THE RITUAL
  This poop occurs at the same time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper.
 
THE GUINESS BOOK OF RECORDS POOP
  A poop so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations.
 
THE AFTERSHOCK POOP
  This poop has an odor so powerful than anyone entering the vicinity within the next 7 hours is affected.
 
THE "HONEYMOON'S OVER" POOP
  Any poop created in the presence of another person.
 
THE GROANER
  A poop so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance.
 
THE FLOATER
  Characterized by its floatability, this poop has been known to resurface after many flushings.
 
THE RANGER
  A poop that refuses to let go. It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a piece of toilet paper.
 
THE PHANTOM POOP
  Appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit to putting it there.

THE PEEK-A-BOO POOP
  Now you see it, now you don't. This poop is playing games with you. Requires patience and muscle control.
 
THE BOMBSHELL
  A poop that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either Inappropriate to poop (ie. during lovemaking or a root canal) or you are nowhere near poopting facilities.
 
THE SNAKE CHARMER
  A long skinny poop which has managed to coil itself into a frightening position... Usually harmless.
 
THE OLYMPIC POOP
  Occurs exactly one hour prior to the start of any competitive event in which you are entered and bears a close resemblance to the Drinker's Poop.
 
THE BACK-TO-NATURE POOP
  This poop may be of any variety but is always deposited either in the woods or while hiding behind the passenger side of your car.
 
THE PEBBLES-FROM-HEAVEN POOP
  An adorable collection of small turds in a cluster, often a gift from God when you actually can't poop.
 
PREMEDITATED POOP
  Laxative induced. Doesn't count.
 
POOPZOPHRENIA
  Fear of poopting. Can be fatal! [Editor's note: shouldn't it be "Poopzophobia"?]
 
ENERGIZER vs. DURACELL POOP
  Also known as a "Still Going" poop.
 
THE POWER DUMP POOP
  The kind that comes out so fast, you've barely got your pants down and you're done.

THE LIQUID PLUMBER POOP
  This poop is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all over the floor. (You should have followed the advice from the Lincoln Log poop.)

THE SPINAL TAP POOP
  The kind of poop that hurts so much coming out, you'd swear it's got to be coming out sideways.

THE "I THINK I'M GIVING BIRTH THROUGH MY ASSHOLE" POOP
  Similar to the Lincoln Log and The Spinal Tap Poops. The shape and size of the turd resembles a tall boy beer can. Vacuous air space remains in the rectum for some time afterwards.

THE PORRIDGE POOP
  The type that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps on coming. You have two choices: (a) flush and keep going, or (b) risk it piling up to your butt while you sit there helpless.
 
THE "I'M GOING TO CHEW MY FOOD BETTER" POOP
  When the bag of Doritos you ate last night lacerates the insides of your rectum on the way out in the morning.
 
THE "I THINK I'M TURNING INTO A BUNNY" POOP
  When you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look like marbles and make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water.
 
THE "WHAT THE HELL DIED IN HERE?" POOP
  Also sometimes known as The Toxic Dump. Of course, you don't warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom odor. Instead, you stand innocently near the door and enjoy the show as they run out gagging and gasping for air.
 
THE "I JUST KNOW THERE'S A TURD STILL DANGLING THERE" POOP
  You sit there patiently, waiting for the last cling-on to fall because if you wipe now, it's just going to smear all over the place.
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Alps

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Re: Is your poo cool?
« Reply #4 on: July 03, 2014, 09:42:47 PM »

I have never pooed uncoolly.

realjd

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Re: Is your poo cool?
« Reply #5 on: July 03, 2014, 10:23:34 PM »

I sit here now
All broken hearted
I came to shit
But only farted
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formulanone

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Re: Is your poo cool?
« Reply #6 on: July 03, 2014, 10:56:34 PM »

The shit forum, now with a road sub-sub-forum.

kinupanda

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Re: Is your poo cool?
« Reply #7 on: July 03, 2014, 11:00:46 PM »

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Jardine

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Re: Is your poo cool?
« Reply #8 on: July 04, 2014, 12:17:51 AM »

It's amazing what a strong poop meme can do for an otherwise moribund message board.

I'm trying to get another board I visit to develop one too !!!
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US71

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Re: Is your poo cool?
« Reply #9 on: July 04, 2014, 11:11:21 AM »

I sit here now
All broken hearted
I came to shit
But only farted
Then I had a second chance
I tried to fart
But shit my pants.
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roadman65

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Re: Is your poo cool?
« Reply #10 on: July 04, 2014, 11:17:11 AM »

Too bad one user here is still no longer with us as he would love this specific thread.
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Re: Is your poo cool?
« Reply #11 on: July 04, 2014, 12:32:16 PM »

This is the funniest damn thing I've read in a long time


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US71

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Re: Is your poo cool?
« Reply #12 on: July 05, 2014, 10:52:57 PM »

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bugo

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Re: Is your poo cool?
« Reply #13 on: July 06, 2014, 02:45:52 AM »

Too bad one user here is still no longer with us as he would love this specific thread.

Bandit is still here.
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Molandfreak

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Re: Is your poo cool?
« Reply #14 on: July 06, 2014, 03:08:36 AM »

Too bad one user here is still no longer with us as he would love this specific thread.
Bandit is still here.
He might be talking about spooey...
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webfil

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Re: Is your poo cool?
« Reply #15 on: July 06, 2014, 05:16:08 PM »

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webny99

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Re: Is your poo cool?
« Reply #16 on: January 22, 2018, 09:35:16 PM »

Bump!

I have never pooed uncoolly.
Same here  ;-)

This is the funniest damn thing I've read in a long time.
Totally agree! I've been reading through old threads recently and was laughing uncontrollably as I read this one :rofl:
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Re: Is your poo cool?
« Reply #17 on: January 22, 2018, 11:43:18 PM »


My expression/feeling towards this exactly. A few users avatars will be enjoying this though. :bigass:
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Re: Is your poo cool?
« Reply #18 on: January 23, 2018, 01:18:07 AM »

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