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Author Topic: Help! Need Transportation-Related Humor!  (Read 636 times)

bessertc

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Help! Need Transportation-Related Humor!
« on: March 20, 2019, 10:16:21 PM »

Hey All,

A dear friend of mine will be moderating a meeting consisting of a lot of "big-wigs" from the Michigan DOT and the FHWA Michigan Division office and would like some transportation- or highway-related jokes or other humor as ice-breakers to use here and there throughout the day-long meeting. I was also asked to prepare a list of 10 fun/interesting trivia questions about Michigan's highways, but I've got that covered. I'm a bit stumped, though, on transportation- or highway-related jokes. I'm hoping you guys can help me with that part. Any contributions are welcome!!

Thanks in advance,
Chris

--
Christopher J Bessert
chris.bessert@gmail.com
www.michiganhighways.org
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Rick Powell

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Re: Help! Need Transportation-Related Humor!
« Reply #1 on: March 21, 2019, 03:44:06 AM »

A man coming from a farmer’s market in the U.P. hits a pothole, blows a tire out, and is stranded on the side of the road.
He then says, “I should’ve bought asparagus.”
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1

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Re: Help! Need Transportation-Related Humor!
« Reply #2 on: March 21, 2019, 05:32:41 AM »

You can probably make the story of Colorado's mile marker 419.99 into a paragraph-long joke, especially as it actually exists.
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Mapmikey

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Re: Help! Need Transportation-Related Humor!
« Reply #3 on: March 21, 2019, 09:17:19 AM »

Polling often shows that most drivers believe they are above average.  A way to test that is to look at how many drivers are over the median.
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abefroman329

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Re: Help! Need Transportation-Related Humor!
« Reply #4 on: March 21, 2019, 09:25:49 AM »

When is a car not a car?
When it turns into a driveway!
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jeffandnicole

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Re: Help! Need Transportation-Related Humor!
« Reply #5 on: March 21, 2019, 09:37:22 AM »

Hope the jokes aren't as salty as the roads.
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hbelkins

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Re: Help! Need Transportation-Related Humor!
« Reply #6 on: March 21, 2019, 11:57:50 AM »

Might suggest a thread merge with the other one, in which I posted about a band of highway-related folks that calls itself Phil 'n The Potholes.
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Mr. Matté

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Re: Help! Need Transportation-Related Humor!
« Reply #7 on: March 21, 2019, 01:16:29 PM »

When is a car not a car?
When it turns into a driveway!

Or do an audience participation segment and ask the age-old question "Why do you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?"
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abefroman329

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Re: Help! Need Transportation-Related Humor!
« Reply #8 on: March 21, 2019, 02:17:32 PM »

When is a car not a car?
When it turns into a driveway!

Or do an audience participation segment and ask the age-old question "Why do you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?"
Or, as Gallagher once pointed out, you have a pair of panties, but just one bra.
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kphoger

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Re: Help! Need Transportation-Related Humor!
« Reply #9 on: March 21, 2019, 02:19:43 PM »

Or, as Gallagher once pointed out, you have a pair of panties, but just one bra.

Of course, if this were a logical world, it would be the men who rode side-saddle.
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abefroman329

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Re: Help! Need Transportation-Related Humor!
« Reply #10 on: March 21, 2019, 02:44:20 PM »

Or, as Gallagher once pointed out, you have a pair of panties, but just one bra.

Of course, if this were a logical world, it would be the men who rode side-saddle.
His joke about "why are they cowboys?  Cows are girls and bulls are boys" is stupid, since "cowboy" is just the English translation of the Spanish "vaquero."
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nexus73

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Re: Help! Need Transportation-Related Humor!
« Reply #11 on: March 21, 2019, 02:53:32 PM »

"Why did the chicken cross the road?" jokes should have some usable material.

Now to see what kind of punchlines we can come up with...

"Because the chicken had the right permit!".

Rick
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cbeach40

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Re: Help! Need Transportation-Related Humor!
« Reply #12 on: March 22, 2019, 09:38:29 AM »

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skluth

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Re: Help! Need Transportation-Related Humor!
« Reply #13 on: March 29, 2019, 07:18:03 PM »

xkcd has some comics that might help:

https://xkcd.com/253/
https://xkcd.com/277/
https://xkcd.com/781/
https://xkcd.com/1116/

This is my favorite geography-related xkcd even if it's not transportation-related.
https://xkcd.com/977/
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