Daily conversation: What is the worst possible answer?

[Big John]

All of the roads, including freeways, are unmarked crosswalks.

[xonhulu]

Cars yielding to pedestrians is not enough. They must unconditionally surrender.

[kphoger]

July 23:

If you could change one pedestrian-related traffic law, what would it be?

Any pedestrian actively engaged in crossing a street must both display flashing lights and sound an audible siren.

~ or ~

Wheelchairs now count as vehicular traffic, not pedestrian traffic.

[1995hoo]

July 23:

If you could change one pedestrian-related traffic law, what would it be?

Pedestrian traffic is banned in all outdoor places, other than inside places like stadiums or parks or public swimming pools, except insofar as walking is necessary to get from one's front door to a car (whether your own, a taxi/Uber/Lyft vehicle, a friend giving you a ride, whatever) at the closest point on a road to one's front door. If that complicates taking public transit like a bus because the nearest bus stop requires one to walk, too bad—call a cab and take a cab to the bus stop.

(I recognize kernals12 is likely to say I breached the rules of the thread because he would consider this the best possible answer.)

[kphoger]

Pedestrian traffic is banned in all outdoor places, other than inside places

That's already in the Alanland Vehicle Code.

[JayhawkCO]

Pedestrians are not allowed.

[kphoger]

A crosswalk can be designated anywhere along any road by placing a fluorescent yellow traffic cone within 18 inches of the roadway.

~ or ~

Crossing an intersection diagonally is the only permitted direction to cross.  (This one just keeps getting more ridiculous, the more I think about it.)

[jlam]

At every intersection/crosswalk/whatever, right of way is determined by a best of 3 rock-paper-scissors.

[hobsini2]

Pedestrian bridges are now required to be 42 feet above the roadway and only 2 feet wide. Let them experience vertigo!

[formulanone]

Pedestrians may opt to be walked by dogs, if they wish. However, their owners must clean up after them.

[Max Rockatansky]

Every pedestrian crossing should have a HAWK signal.

[kphoger]

Any pedestrian actively engaged in crossing a street must both display flashing lights and sound an audible siren.

Every pedestrian crossing should have a HAWK signal.

These can be combined into one statute.

Any pedestrian actively engaged in crossing a street must both display a flashing HAWK signal and sound an audible siren.

[webny99]

Hopefully it's fair game to go back to previous days.

Instead of a control city, it would make navigation easier if every guide sign had ________.

Line-by-line directions to "Other Beach Cities".

July 20:

Why do Interstate and US numbered routes use even numbers to denote east-west routes and odd numbers to denote north-south routes and not the other way around?

 

July 23:

If you could change one pedestrian-related traffic law, what would it be?

This one (oh wait...)

All of the roads, including freeways, are unmarked crosswalks.

What would that change, though? 

[vdeane]

Any pedestrian actively engaged in crossing a street must both display flashing lights and sound an audible siren.

Every pedestrian crossing should have a HAWK signal.

These can be combined into one statute.

Any pedestrian actively engaged in crossing a street must both display a flashing HAWK signal and sound an audible siren.

The signal from the HAWK would be a loud screech from the hawks that all pedestrians would be required to keep as pets and carry with them when walking.  The hawk would wear a flashing beacon on its head.

[NE2]

You mean flashing bacon. Every seen a pig in a trenchcoat?

[kphoger]

Hopefully it's fair game to go back to previous days.

Absolutely!

The hawk would wear a flashing beacon on its head.

Does this qualify as animal cruelty?

You mean flashing bacon. Every seen a pig in a trenchcoat?

Coming from you, I assume it's referring to police officers..?

[kphoger]

July 24:

Assuming two advance guide signs for exits before the exit direction sign, what is the appropriate distance spread?

(For clarity, I'm referring to these.  Assuming two "B" signs posted in advance of every "A" sign, what distances should those two be posted at?  Let's also assume that it's not an exit-dense stretch of highway, so just think of normal scenarios.)


My suggestion:

10 miles : advance 1
¼ mile : advance 2
gore : exit

[Scott5114]

The appropriate distance to post a road sign from a junction has to do with the speed of the roadway it is displayed next to. Higher-speed roads have to have signage posted further in advance so that drivers have more time to prepare for the exit.

Therefore, speed sensors should be used to determine the prevailing speed of the road. During a traffic jam, after all, you might only be going a few miles an hour so the sign can be right next to the exit. Late at night, you might have someone who had a few too many beers at Top Golf going 157 mph down the road, so the same sign would need to be a lot further away for that person to read it (as we all know that obeying warning signs is important to the inebriated, which is why they pass laws requiring it whenever they are elected to high office). The signs should be placed on a track, so a motor can automatically move them to the appropriate distance as needed.

This is an example of an "intelligent transportation system" (ITS).

[I-55]

If the exit is in Oklahoma, the signs should be placed just in advance of the state line before entering Oklahoma. If the exit is not in Oklahoma, the signs should be in Oklahoma but only if the exit is on an interstate that doesn't go through Oklahoma.

[JayhawkCO]

One and two Planck lengths respectively.

[Big John]

Signs placed after the exit.: 1 mile back, 2 miles back.

[kphoger]

Assuming two advance guide signs for exits before the exit direction sign, what is the appropriate distance spread?

Signs placed after the exit.: 1 mile back, 2 miles back.

Try again.

[Scott5114]

Assuming two advance guide signs for exits before the exit direction sign, what is the appropriate distance spread?

Signs placed after the exit.: 1 mile back, 2 miles back.

Try again.

The advance signage is placed after the exit you just passed so you can decide whether or not it's worth backing up for.

[vdeane]

July 24:

Assuming two advance guide signs for exits before the exit direction sign, what is the appropriate distance spread?

(For clarity, I'm referring to these.  Assuming two "B" signs posted in advance of every "A" sign, what distances should those two be posted at?  Let's also assume that it's not an exit-dense stretch of highway, so just think of normal scenarios.)

Put them on the 10s.  Specifically, 10 inches, 10 feet, and 10 miles.

The hawk would wear a flashing beacon on its head.

Does this qualify as animal cruelty?

I would think it would be similar to making a dog wear antlers on Christmas.

[xonhulu]

To help with trip planning purposes, the first sign for your edit should be posted on the onramp on which you initially enter the freeway.

Then there shouldn't even be a 2nd sign: we need to stop compensating for inattentive drivers who missed the first sign.