Illinois is East, West, North and South of Alanland

[Henry]

Yet another "Illinois is" thread...

I read in another thread about the goat population, and since they're more likely to be found in hilly areas, which may or may not exist in IL, I thought I'd have fun with this one.

[WillWeaverRVA]

Illinois is also NOT east, west, north, and south of Alanland.

[Henry]

Illinois is also NOT east, west, north, and south of Alanland.

That too!

[CoreySamson]

You're forgetting about the most important direction, northeast. Alanland is northeast of everything, yet everything is northeast of Alanland. This is especially true in Camargo and Quindaro Oblasts, but not necessarily in Fox and Milhous Oblasts, due to the migratory habits of bombardier beetles and rattlesnakes (which is why they have to register with their oblast governments).

[kphoger]

Henry, you're thinking of North Eastwest Boscoria (which has 57 goatball courses).

[Max Rockatansky]

We have long established Alanland as being east, west, north and south of Illinois.  Examine some factoids about the geography of the Alanlandian nation:

-  The main part of the country lies directly west of Eureka, California (hence the collusion with the local police).  We have determined the Alanland mainland to be large enough to not only be west of Illinois, but north of it as well.
-  Virginia as we all know as incorporated into Alanland as a satellite Oblast during the Gross Vegan incident.  This places the sovereign territory Alanland both to the east and south of Illinois. 

[Scott5114]

The map of Alanland includes a few borders that correspond to those of US states. It should be simple to use those to ascertain the location of Alanland.

https://quindaropedia.fandom.com/wiki/File:Alanlandmap.png

[freebrickproductions]

Did Alanland every build I-366 like they banned?

[TheHighwayMan3561]

Did Alanland every build I-366 like they banned?

If you drive 84 or 86 MPH you are fine. If you drive 85 MPH you will be killed.

[kphoger]

Did Alanland every build I-366 like they banned?

The only highways every built in Alanland were the ones that they banned.  Unbanned highways are prohibited except where permitted but not required and required except where permitted but only where banned (cf alan.alanland.gov/legis/gen/stat/banned_hwys/v_1_3/prohibitions).

[PColumbus73]

Thoughts about traveling northeast to Illinois from the Perkins Union is a felony punishable by goat tickling, then death.

[Big John]

Did Alanland every build I-366 like they banned?

Or I-86EWNS?

[Max Rockatansky]

Thoughts about traveling northeast to Illinois from the Perkins Union is a felony punishable by goat tickling, then death.

Too bad the Hypotenuse isn't there to speed things up.   

[CoreySamson]

Did Alanland every build I-366 like they banned?

Or I-86EWNS?

Alanland is in the planning stages of building I-86NENE, which will head northeast from Illinois, merging with I-64 to then end at the ocean and become a road. It will also be mandatory to perform the Whip Nae Nae dance while wearing a clownfish fish hat and thrusting your left big toe through the car sunroof while driving it. If the car does not have a sunroof, then your firstborn son has to squat on the roof whilst you perform the above actions, see first sentence.

[kphoger]

Thoughts about traveling northeast to Illinois from the Perkins Union is a felony punishable by goat tickling, then death.

The legal verbiage is ambiguous:  is one required to tickle a goat, or is one required to be tickled by a goat?  The courts have not yet weighed in on the question, primarily because they are in Nimbya and have refused to review any related cases due to the secret war.

[kphoger]

Alanland is in the planning stages of building I-86NENE, which will head northeast from Illinois, merging with I-64 to then end at the ocean and become a road. It will also be mandatory to perform the Whip Nae Nae dance while wearing a clownfish fish hat and thrusting your left big toe through the car sunroof while driving it. If the car does not have a sunroof, then your firstborn son has to squat on the roof whilst you perform the above actions, see first sentence.

I was unaware of this requirement.  Do you have a link to the pertinent legal code?  I'm interested to know if it spells out what to do if you have neither a sunroof nor a son.

[CoreySamson]

Alanland is in the planning stages of building I-86NENE, which will head northeast from Illinois, merging with I-64 to then end at the ocean and become a road. It will also be mandatory to perform the Whip Nae Nae dance while wearing a clownfish fish hat and thrusting your left big toe through the car sunroof while driving it. If the car does not have a sunroof, then your firstborn son has to squat on the roof whilst you perform the above actions, see first sentence.

I was unaware of this requirement.  Do you have a link to the pertinent legal code?  I'm interested to know if it spells out what to do if you have neither a sunroof nor a son.

I wish I had the link, but it is hosted on the Alanland dark web by evil Queen Charlotte, so probably not a good idea to go searching for it. I believe it says that the penalty for having neither a sunroof or a son in this case is excommunication from Alanland. No, not that kind of excommunication. This excommunication involves communicating with one's ex (but the ex must be from Alanland!) in some way whilst driving the vehicle on I-86NENE. It is also permissible to wink 49 times in varying succession in order to satisfy the requirements.

[kphoger]

It is also permissible to wink 49 times in varying succession in order to satisfy the requirements.

Only if you don't have a sunroof, don't have a son, and don't have an ex from Alanland?  Or not in any other case either?

[CoreySamson]

It is also permissible to wink 49 times in varying succession in order to satisfy the requirements.

Only if you don't have a sunroof, don't have a son, and don't have an ex from Alanland?  Or not in any other case either?

Correct to the first question, but mostly.

It does not satisfy the requirements on days where the orbital path of Venus is closest to Alanland exactly 15 days preceding or succeeding Gemerton's day. If it is one of those days, I-86NENE is simply closed off and the Alanland National Dodecalathon is held on the freeway.

[PColumbus73]

Thoughts about traveling northeast to Illinois from the Perkins Union is a felony punishable by goat tickling, then death.

The legal verbiage is ambiguous:  is one required to tickle a goat, or is one required to be tickled by a goat?  The courts have not yet weighed in on the question, primarily because they are in Nimbya and have refused to review any related cases due to the secret war.

The mystery is essential to keep the punishment intriguing. Although, many Perkins Union citizens defect to North Korea for a better future. It's sad because they'll never know the awe of standing on top of the Sears Tower and seeing the Goat of Liberty, and on a clear day, Mount Alan, 3,000-ish miles away, give or take a few.

[kphoger]

Alanland National Dodecalathon

decals are fun

[Road Hog]

If you think about it, any two points on Earth are north, south, east and/or west of one another if you continue the movment around the globe.

In fact, every point on Earth is north, south, east or west of itself in the same regard.

[CoreySamson]

If you think about it, any two points on Earth are north, south, east and/or west of one another if you continue the movment around the globe.

In fact, every point on Earth is north, south, east or west of itself in the same regard.

Counterpoint: Alanland (by fiat) exists in a non-Euclidean universe where this is not true, as defined by Alanland Penal Code 13.11.690, signed into law by Alan Tropicana.

[Scott5114]

If you think about it, any two points on Earth are north, south, east and/or west of one another if you continue the movment around the globe.

In fact, every point on Earth is north, south, east or west of itself in the same regard.

Not quite—north and south are defined as moving toward the North/South poles, and so the poles are by definition the most northmost/southmost points possible. If you are standing on the South Pole, by definition, you cannot go any direction but north because you are moving away from the South Pole.

[PColumbus73]

Travel to Alanland is as easy as jumping in place; by jumping in place eventually the Earth will rotate under your feet transporting you to fabulous Alanland.