ABC, CBS, FOX & NBC Have Lost More Than 77% Of Their Market Share

[JayhawkCO]

I've only ever dated two women.  I had my first kid with the first, and I've been happily married to the second for twenty years as of next week.

I think some people in this thread might have different definitions for things. Here are mine, from less serious to more:

Gone on a date with: Spent a couple of hours on a 1:1 basis with a pre-planned activity.
Dated: Gone on a date with 3+ times
Serious relationship: Dated for 6+ months

My count remains the same.

There was one time in high school that three of us decided to surprise a girl we knew from church and take her out for her birthday.  She was a farm girl, we were seniors in high school, and I hatched a plan.  I pretended that I was going to write up something about some old abandoned church building a couple of miles from her family's farm, as part of applying for college financial aid.  We drove out to her farm, picked her up, and headed over to the old building.  We all got out, she started telling us the little she knew about the place, and then we proceeded to stuff her into the trunk of my car.  Farm girls are tough, and it took all three of us to pull it off, but eventually we succeeded and drove away.  Eventually, we pulled down the back seat, let her out of the trunk, and continued on our 60+ mile drive to McCook, Nebraska.  She quickly calmed down, and we had a great lunch.  But I wouldn't call that a date.  It was more a like a kidnapping across state lines.

It couldn't be a date per my definitions -- wasn't 1:1. Anyway...

[kphoger]

It couldn't be a date per my definitions -- wasn't 1:1.

Yes, I realized.  Then again, a double date doesn't count according to your definition either, so...

[JayhawkCO]

It couldn't be a date per my definitions -- wasn't 1:1.

Yes, I realized.  Then again, a double date doesn't count according to your definition either, so...

Grey area I suppose. Kind of more of a hang. I'll stick to my original definition.

[Beltway]

It couldn't be a date per my definitions -- wasn't 1:1.

Yes, I realized.  Then again, a double date doesn't count according to your definition either, so...

Grey area I suppose. Kind of more of a hang. I'll stick to my original definition.

If she had died in the trunk they might have been prosecuted and sentenced to hang.

[kphoger]

If she had died in the trunk they might have been prosecuted and sentenced to hang.

Ha!  She had a great time.  We only left her in there for a couple of miles.  As I recall, she was out and buckled into the back seat by the time we hit pavement.

[CoreySamson]

I, for one, have never even been on a proper date, but not for the lack of trying. Oh well.

[hotdogPi]

I, for one, have never even been on a proper date, but not for the lack of trying. Oh well.

Same here. I'm 27. I started trying when I was 23 (which is late compared to most). I've had a few that seemed to go somewhere, but they never actually included a date:

• For about a year, someone who lived seven hours away. We had a weekly Zoom meeting. We met in person once (she came here). She was entirely controlled by her parents. After my mom sent her parents a letter saying it should be between us two, her parents ended it.
• One person in my choir who seemed to want to talk to me during break but not do anything outside of choir. Eventually, during the fourth semester we were both there, she said she didn't want to talk to me anymore.
• One person in a board game group who asked for my phone number and we spent an hour after the event together getting back to where she lived which was next to the train station I needed... but we fundamentally disagreed on politics, as I realized after about two weeks.
• One person who I met at a restaurant in the bar, and we agreed to come back again at the same time the next week... but she already had someone.
• I was at a speed dating event last month. One match, but no response to my emails at all.
• At least 10 people who I seem interested in but they don't really seem interested in me, and two that I'm waiting on for a response after initially meeting earlier this month.
• One person through a different board game group who we've known each other for almost a year and we're definitely friends, but I don't want to push it given that I asked a few months ago and she said she wanted to do a group event first. (Such an event has happened, and I even hosted it, but I'm still not quite comfortable.) We haven't done anything outside this group.

[kphoger]

I should mention that my now-wife and I fell in love before we ever went on a date.  We met online, she lived more than 500 miles away, and we didn't meet in person for the first couple of months of our relationship.  By the time we actually met face to face, when she picked me up at the bus station in Springfield MO, we had already fallen in love with each other over the phone and talked about where we expected our relationship to go.

[CoreySamson]

I, for one, have never even been on a proper date, but not for the lack of trying. Oh well.

Same here. I'm 27. I started trying when I was 23 (which is late compared to most). I've had a few that seemed to go somewhere, but they never actually included a date:

• For about a year, someone who lived seven hours away. We had a weekly Zoom meeting. We met in person once (she came here). She was entirely controlled by her parents. After my mom sent her parents a letter saying it should be between us two, her parents ended it.
• One person in my choir who seemed to want to talk to me during break but not do anything outside of choir. Eventually, during the fourth semester we were both there, she said she didn't want to talk to me anymore.
• One person in a board game group who asked for my phone number and we spent an hour after the event together getting back to where she lived which was next to the train station I needed... but we fundamentally disagreed on politics, as I realized after about two weeks.
• One person who I met at a restaurant in the bar, and we agreed to come back again at the same time the next week... but she already had someone.
• I was at a speed dating event last month. One match, but no response to my emails at all.
• At least 10 people who I seem interested in but they don't really seem interested in me, and two that I'm waiting on for a response after initially meeting earlier this month.
• One person who we've known each other for almost a year and we're definitely friends, but I don't want to push it given that I asked a few months ago and she said she wanted to do a group event first. (Such an event has happened, and I even hosted it, but I'm still not quite comfortable.) We haven't done anything outside this group.

I feel like it's a similar story for me. Lots of random people who seem somewhat interested but ultimately don't care in the end. For all the unmerited crap that older people give Gen Z, dating I think is one area where we ultimately deserve it. Hoping that you are able to find that someone soon, man!

[NWI_Irish96]

I, for one, have never even been on a proper date, but not for the lack of trying. Oh well.

Same here. I'm 27. I started trying when I was 23 (which is late compared to most). I've had a few that seemed to go somewhere, but they never actually included a date:

• For about a year, someone who lived seven hours away. We had a weekly Zoom meeting. We met in person once (she came here). She was entirely controlled by her parents. After my mom sent her parents a letter saying it should be between us two, her parents ended it.
• One person in my choir who seemed to want to talk to me during break but not do anything outside of choir. Eventually, during the fourth semester we were both there, she said she didn't want to talk to me anymore.
• One person in a board game group who asked for my phone number and we spent an hour after the event together getting back to where she lived which was next to the train station I needed... but we fundamentally disagreed on politics, as I realized after about two weeks.
• One person who I met at a restaurant in the bar, and we agreed to come back again at the same time the next week... but she already had someone.
• I was at a speed dating event last month. One match, but no response to my emails at all.
• At least 10 people who I seem interested in but they don't really seem interested in me, and two that I'm waiting on for a response after initially meeting earlier this month.
• One person who we've known each other for almost a year and we're definitely friends, but I don't want to push it given that I asked a few months ago and she said she wanted to do a group event first. (Such an event has happened, and I even hosted it, but I'm still not quite comfortable.) We haven't done anything outside this group.

I feel like it's a similar story for me. Lots of random people who seem somewhat interested but ultimately don't care in the end. For all the unmerited crap that older people give Gen Z, dating I think is one area where we ultimately deserve it. Hoping that you are able to find that someone soon, man!

Don't worry guys. I never had more than first dates until I was 28 and met my now wife of almost 24 years.

[Beltway]

If she had died in the trunk they might have been prosecuted and sentenced to hang.

Ha!  She had a great time.  We only left her in there for a couple of miles.  As I recall, she was out and buckled into the back seat by the time we hit pavement.

For all you know she may have a CCW. And there never would have been a trial.

[Beltway]

I should mention that my now-wife and I fell in love before we ever went on a date.  We met online, she lived more than 500 miles away, and we didn't meet in person for the first couple of months of our relationship.  By the time we actually met face to face, when she picked me up at the bus station in Springfield MO, we had already fallen in love with each other over the phone and talked about where we expected our relationship to go.

Dating service outcomes vary widely because the underlying demographics are uneven. Some people get high response volume, some get none, and women typically receive far more inbound contact than men. That variability is normal and doesn't validate or invalidate any individual anecdote.

In the 1980s and 1990s the three manual dating services I used had shallow databases, and most of the matches were hundreds of miles away. That was typical for the era -- limited pools, slow turnover, and very little geographic filtering. Outcomes varied widely depending on who happened to be in the system at the time.

I met a lot of women that way and led to several relationships. But no keepers.

Groups like eHarmony, Christian Mingle, and Cherry Blossoms were essentially automated versions of the old manual services. Same shallow databases, same low match density, same long‑distance results -- just delivered through a website instead of a printed booklet or a phone‑based matchmaker. The underlying limitations didn't change until the high‑volume swipe apps appeared years later.

They do work for some -- a niece met her husband thru eHarmony and they were over 100 miles away when they met. Now have two children.

But for me the amount of effort put out versus the results obtained made that internet era dating unfruitful. Did have a three month online relationship with a woman in Singapore and we talked about meeting but never did. Mail and phone calls with her as well.

The high‑volume swipe apps came much later, but even those generate huge complaints about results. A small percentage of users get flooded with attention, while many get almost nothing. The underlying asymmetry didn't disappear -- it just scaled up. The distribution is still extremely uneven, and the dissatisfaction rates reflect that. I was burned out on dating services by then and never tried them.

So my main sources were always meeting in "face to face" environments, as difficult as that is.

Long distance relationships have their own problems. One started via phone and was "serious" before any formal date. That lasted in-person for 4 years but eventually went sour.

[thenetwork]

I think it as just plain weird when in the dating world today, this question and "term" likely comes up:

"What's Your 'Body Count'"? -- The 20's equivalent of "how many notches are there on your bedpost?"

[Max Rockatansky]

I was on eHarmony for only two months before I met Jessica.  I went on one date with a woman from Hanford (where I lived at the time) and two dates with a woman from Porterville. 

Jessica lived up in Fresno and I took her to a Pielogy on our first date.  Our second date was a hiking trip up to Kings Canyon National Park.  I ended up cancelling my subscription to eHarmony after our third date.  Apparently Jessica was only on the service for two days before we went on a date. 

The topic of prior relationships never has been really a secret between Jessica and I.  We both saw people before we met each other.  I don't know what other expected reality there was for two people in their 30s?

[kphoger]

I should mention that my now-wife and I fell in love before we ever went on a date.  We met online, she lived more than 500 miles away, and we didn't meet in person for the first couple of months of our relationship.  By the time we actually met face to face, when she picked me up at the bus station in Springfield MO, we had already fallen in love with each other over the phone and talked about where we expected our relationship to go.

Dating service outcomes vary widely because the underlying demographics are uneven. Some people get high response volume, some get none, and women typically receive far more inbound contact than men. That variability is normal and doesn't validate or invalidate any individual anecdote.

In the 1980s and 1990s the three manual dating services I used had shallow databases, and most of the matches were hundreds of miles away. That was typical for the era -- limited pools, slow turnover, and very little geographic filtering. Outcomes varied widely depending on who happened to be in the system at the time.

She was the only person who contacted me on the site, and I was the only person she contacted.

Both of us had signed up for a free seven-day trial, which did not allow people to exchange e-mail addresses via PM.  That was really easy to circumvent (yourname at host dot com), so that's what we did.  We let our trial membership lapse, then switched from e-mail to phone a little while later.

It was a site for Christians.  I had gone to the public library to use the internet and visited a few different singles sites (such as match.com), and that's the one that seemed the most promising.  These were the fun and wacky days of the internet, in 2002 or 2003 (I can never remember which one).

Long distance relationships have their own problems. One started via phone and was "serious" before any formal date. That lasted in-person for 4 years but eventually went sour.

I was living in the Chicago suburbs, and all I knew in the beginning was that she lived in Missouri.  I figured there was a pretty good chance that meant she lived in Saint Louis, which was a really easy Amtrak or Greyhound trip away.  Turns out she was twice as far away.  Within a year, in order to give the relationship a chance at success, she moved up to the Chicago area.

[Beltway]

I think some people in this thread might have different definitions for things. Here are mine, from less serious to more:
Gone on a date with: Spent a couple of hours on a 1:1 basis with a pre-planned activity.
Dated: Gone on a date with 3+ times
Serious relationship: Dated for 6+ months
I can easily recall the number for the latter, which is five. My "dated" total? Maybe 10-12? Don't know for sure. "Gone on a date with" is maybe 25-30? I certainly don't know exact numbers for those.

Based on your stated age on your bio that numerical data is quite normal, assuming being unmarried for all or most of adulthood.

For those with questions about the numbers -- Google is your friend -- just enter a one line query and see for yourself.

Something like -- "Poster claims dated XX women and he is about XX years old. Is that claim credible?

[Beltway]

I think it as just plain weird when in the dating world today, this question and "term" likely comes up:
"What's Your 'Body Count'"? -- The 20's equivalent of "how many notches are there on your bedpost?"

With women nowadays that can be double or even triple digits.

I knew a women back in the 1980s that came out of the hippie lifestyle and became a Christian at age 35. She told me she had sex with over 1,000 men and said it in a matter of fact way that sounded like factual and not exaggerated.

[The_Ginger]

Television    5    present    watching    >10 channels

  Television! We can finally swing this thread back to topic!

[JayhawkCO]

I think it as just plain weird when in the dating world today, this question and "term" likely comes up:
"What's Your 'Body Count'"? -- The 20's equivalent of "how many notches are there on your bedpost?"

With women nowadays that can be double or even triple digits.

Why specify women in this statement?

[Max Rockatansky]

Television    5    present    watching    >10 channels

  Television! We can finally swing this thread back to topic!

I've probably had a 77% reduction in my TV viewership once I had a 77% increase in dating. 

[Beltway]

I think it as just plain weird when in the dating world today, this question and "term" likely comes up:
"What's Your 'Body Count'"? -- The 20's equivalent of "how many notches are there on your bedpost?"

With women nowadays that can be double or even triple digits.

Why specify women in this statement?

Isn't this discussion mainly about men seeking women?

[JayhawkCO]

I've had a ~100% reduction in my TV viewership of my choosing once I had a 100% increase in children.

[JayhawkCO]

I think it as just plain weird when in the dating world today, this question and "term" likely comes up:
"What's Your 'Body Count'"? -- The 20's equivalent of "how many notches are there on your bedpost?"

With women nowadays that can be double or even triple digits.

Why specify women in this statement?

Isn't this discussion mainly about men seeking women?

I mean, not specified as such. Just seemed like your concern is about a woman's body count, not a man's. I could be reading it incorrectly.

[Max Rockatansky]

I'm just assuming that a couple folks in the mix of the conversation this last couple pages weren't strictly referring to strictly male-female dating.  I was but I can only account for myself unless others overtly spell out what they were referencing (not they need to).

[Beltway]

I think it as just plain weird when in the dating world today, this question and "term" likely comes up:
"What's Your 'Body Count'"? -- The 20's equivalent of "how many notches are there on your bedpost?"

With women nowadays that can be double or even triple digits.

Why specify women in this statement?

Isn't this discussion mainly about men seeking women?

I mean, not specified as such. Just seemed like your concern is about a woman's body count, not a man's. I could be reading it incorrectly.

If am considering a relationship with a woman it is a concern. Ability to successfully pair bond is inversely proportional to the height of the body count.

Not hard to find out either -- just let her talk and it will soon come out.