Throwing things at people while they're reading a newspaper

[bandit957]

Anyone else ever do this? I did this a couple times growing up.

Sometimes you'll see a person reading a newspaper while holding it aloft in front of their face, and you just can't resist the urge. But make sure it's a relatively soft object like a squeaky dog toy, so the person doesn't get hurt. This doesn't work if the person is reading a normal-sized book or magazine, since those are small enough that they can see the object coming. It works if the person is reading a newspaper with full-sized pages - not a tabloid. It's also nice because newspapers don't have a hard binding, so the object either tears through the paper instead of bouncing off, or it shakes the paper.

I remember one time I did this, and surprisingly, the person just acted like nothing happened and sat there reading a torn paper as if nothing had happened.

[TheHighwayMan3561]

Chewed and throughly bubbled gum sounds like a good item for this activity.

[Brandon]

Chewed and throughly bubbled gum sounds like a good item for this activity.

Especially if it was bubbled.

[abefroman329]

Maybe they saw it in a commercial.

[Scott5114]

Do you yell "This just in!" when you do it?

[index]

Do you yell "This just in!" when you do it?

That seems like something I'd do if someone was deliberately ignoring me to be an ass.


"This just in! (whatever i have been trying to tell them here)"

[kurumi]

If they're walking down the sidewalk, plant a very fast-growing tree in their path and watch them walk into it.

[renegade]

In before one of the juveniles asks, "What's a newspaper?"

[jakeroot]

What the fuck is a newspa...oh.

In before one of the juveniles asks, "What's a newspaper?"

Well, you're negative 42 years old.

[Scott5114]

I actually bought a newspaper yesterday because it had a front-page article about OkDOT's new enhanced milemarkers, and I felt awkward trying to read it right in front of the 7-Eleven clerk.

On my way out the door I forgot that I had put my Icy Drink on the roof of my car while I was putting my purchases inside and didn't realize until I heard the thumping of it tumbling into the westbound lanes of Alameda Street. Fortunately it was three in the morning so I was able to retrieve it. Most of it was even still in the cup!

[jon daly]

We get two free weeklies in the mail (what's that?) I also buy a paper a couple of times a month. They're too much clutter, but I'm more likely to read a story that I wouldn't have otherwise in a paper than do so online, on TV, or the radio.

[TheHighwayMan3561]

On my way out the door I forgot that I had put my Icy Drink on the roof of my car while I was putting my purchases inside and didn't realize until I heard the thumping of it tumbling into the westbound lanes of Alameda Street. Fortunately it was three in the morning so I was able to retrieve it. Most of it was even still in the cup!

That's awesome. Unintended littering aside, I'd just chalk it up as a loss at that point.

[cjk374]

As kids, we used newspapers to line the dining room table when we ate watermelons. They helped make clean up easier. (soooo.....which youngen has never eaten a watermelon before?    )

[Scott5114]

On my way out the door I forgot that I had put my Icy Drink on the roof of my car while I was putting my purchases inside and didn't realize until I heard the thumping of it tumbling into the westbound lanes of Alameda Street. Fortunately it was three in the morning so I was able to retrieve it. Most of it was even still in the cup!

That's awesome. Unintended littering aside, I'd just chalk it up as a loss at that point.

I briefly considered doing so, but there was no traffic, and I was concerned that perhaps I had left my phone up there too. Since it had a dome lid on, only about a fourth of the drink fell out onto the street.