Describe the biggest cities in your state in five words or less.

[webny99]

Buffalo: blue collar meets old architecture
Rochester: rose between two thorns
Syracuse: pass through, not your destiny

Utica: rustier than the Rust Belt
Watertown: it's snow joke!
Binghamton: under construction, Jan. to Dec.
Ithaca: is gorges, say college students

[ozarkman417]

Detroit - coney islands, liquor stores, crime, cars and sports.

since that is eight words, here is a five word one:
Can't have shit in Detroit

[Hwy 61 Revisited]

Detroit - coney islands, liquor stores, crime, cars and sports.

since that is eight words, here is a five word one:
Can't have shit in Detroit

Or: At least we're not Cleveland!

[CoreySamson]

Texas:

Houston: Flooding, feeder roads, space center.
San Antonio: Alamo and Riverwalk.
Dallas: Outsiders: It's larger than Houston!
Austin: Weird.
Fort Worth: Second fiddle to Dallas.
El Paso: Desert. Is this actually Texas?
Arlington: Texas's tourist attraction. Cowboys football.
Corpus Christi: Whataburger.
(Skipping Plano)
Laredo: Hispanic heritage and culture.
Lubbock: Buddy Holly.
(Skipping a few more nondescript Dallas suburbs)
Amarillo: How outsiders believe Texas looks.
(A couple bonus ones)
Waco: Baylor. Chip and Joanna Gaines
San Angelo: WE WANT INTERSTATES!!

[Bruce]

Washington:

Seattle: Metropolitan, sorta dense, messy politics
Spokane: Hidden gem, oasis, big falls
Tacoma: Troubled blue-collar bridge town
Vancouver: Backwards suburbs, no bridge plans
Bellevue: real life game of SimCity
Kent: Troubled place with hill folk
Everett: Planes, bikinis, figurines, traffic, sadness
Renton: Blue-collar with arts and traffic
Spokane Valley: Where the craziest politicians emerge
Federal Way: It's all sprawl down there
Yakima: Good food, beer, and apples
Kirkland: Retirees mad about transit
Bellingham: College or Canadian?

[roadman65]

Jacksonville: Toll roads return
Miami: Skyscrapers galore
Tampa: Need more roads.
St. Pete: Urban area
Orlando: Over developed

[TheHighwayMan3561]

Twin Cities: Philly complains of sports suffering?
Rochester: Sick people's most feared place
Duluth: Famous bridge to nowhere!
St. Cloud: Many people, much nothing.
Mankato: Please come back, Vikings camp
Moorhead: Our state forgets we exist

[webny99]

Rochester: Sick people's most feared place

I would have said just the opposite, given how good the Mayo Clinic is.
It's more often a beacon of hope than a place to be scared of.

[Flint1979]

Detroit - coney islands, liquor stores, crime, cars and sports.

since that is eight words, here is a five word one:
Can't have shit in Detroit

Actually it's 7 you could take the last two off because the first five words are true.

[Flint1979]

Detroit - coney islands, liquor stores, crime, cars and sports.

since that is eight words, here is a five word one:
Can't have shit in Detroit

Or: At least we're not Cleveland!

Haha I like that one.

[hotdogPi]

Detroit - coney islands, liquor stores, crime, cars and sports.

since that is eight words, here is a five word one:
Can't have shit in Detroit

Actually it's 7 you could take the last two off because the first five words are true.

I see 8.

[Flint1979]

Detroit - coney islands, liquor stores, crime, cars and sports.

since that is eight words, here is a five word one:
Can't have shit in Detroit

Actually it's 7 you could take the last two off because the first five words are true.

I see 8.

Where is 8? Coney, islands, liquor, stores, crime, cars and sports.

[Hwy 61 Revisited]

Detroit - coney islands, liquor stores, crime, cars and sports.

since that is eight words, here is a five word one:
Can't have shit in Detroit

Actually it's 7 you could take the last two off because the first five words are true.

I see 8.

Where is 8? Coney, islands, liquor, stores, crime, cars and sports.

Coney, islands, liquor, stores, crime, cars, and, and sports.

[webny99]

Where is 8? Coney, islands, liquor, stores, crime, cars and sports.

"And" is a word.

You must have interpreted the title as up to five separate words, but it could also be a phrase or sentence, and every word still counts.

[kphoger]

Detroit - coney islands, liquor stores, crime, cars and sports.

since that is eight words, here is a five word one:
Can't have shit in Detroit

Actually it's 7 you could take the last two off because the first five words are true.

OK, then, taking off the last two words...

Detroit – coney islands, liquor stores, crime, cars and sports

Unless you're counting "liquor stores" as a compound word (dubious), that's still six words left.

[Paulinator66]

Illinois:

Chicago: Big stinky violent onion shoulders.
Aurora: Wants to be Naperville.
Joliet: Steel, stone, racetrack, warehouses, octopus.
Rockford: Forgotten by Chicago, rusting away.
Naperville: Chicago bedrooms, lily white town.

I'll do the remaining 5 since I tend to stay downstate anyway.

Springfield     116,565    Abe Lincoln everything!
Peoria       115,070    We've still got Caterpillar!
Elgin        112,111    We're not Chicago
Waukegan      88,475      We're also not Chicago
Champaign    86,791      Kept afloat by the U of I

Describe all of Illinois in 5 words or less?  Don't judge based on Chicago.

[kphoger]

Elgin        112,111    We're not Chicago

Elgin – You know it from Roseanne.

[jp the roadgeek]

Aurora: Wants to be Naperville.

Aurora – City with a vacant downtown

??

Aurora- WAYNE'S WORLD!!!!   PARTY TIME!!!! EXCELLENT!!!!

[kphoger]

Aurora: Wants to be Naperville.

Aurora – City with a vacant downtown

??

Aurora- WAYNE'S WORLD!!!!   PARTY TIME!!!! EXCELLENT!!!!

OK, you win.

[hbelkins]

Louisville - absolutely no redeeming value whatsoever.
Lexington - horsey elitists and relocated hillbillies.
Covington/Newport/Florence/etc. -- the best part of Cincinnati.
Bowling Green - caves and Corvettes.
Owensboro -- formerly bigger than Bowling Green.
Ashland -- we make gasoline here.
Paducah -- might as well be Missouri.

[Flint1979]

I don't care how many words it takes to say this about Detroit. That place is an absolute shithole.

[webny99]

That place It is an absolute shithole.

FTFFY (Fixed to five for you). 

[Flint1979]

That place It is an absolute shithole.

FTFFY (Fixed to five for you). 

Lol finally have five words for Detoilet.

[Brandon]

I don't care how many words it takes to say this about Detroit. That place is an absolute shithole.

Says the guy with "Flint" in his handle.

[GaryV]

I don't care how many words it takes to say this about Detroit. That place is an absolute shithole.

Says the guy with "Flint" in his handle.

Detroit: Safer water than Flint.  (There, only 4 words)

Story: In the lunchroom shortly after the Flint lead in water story broke, a couple of workers were talking.  One was going to Grand Rapids for the weekend, and the other said to not drink the water. When pointed out that she was going to Grand Rapids, not Flint, the reply was, "Grand Rapids, Flint, same difference."  She didn't realize that sitting at work in Dearborn she was much closer to Flint than her colleague would be in Grand Rapids.  So much for the geographic awareness of metro Detroiters.