Ongoing Situation: Prayers/Good Thoughts Needed

Started by JMoses24, July 06, 2013, 02:12:46 PM

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JMoses24

Hey everyone,

My uncle Terry is currently in a local hospital. He had a massive heart attack on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning (7/2-3). His prognosis has been, to say the least, negative. It is currently expected that he will not make it, although on the slim chance he DOES, he'll end up needing 24/7 care for the rest of his life. Sadly, he partially did this to himself -- after his wife (my aunt Kathy) took her own life in 2007, he went on a steep downhill spiral into alcohol and some drug experimentation and fell in with the wrong crowd. Regardless of that, he is still family, and so we've been keeping a near-constant 24/7 vigil since then. I am currently bracing for the worst...but some support would be great from the roadgeeking community right now.

Thanks,

Jeremy Moses


broadhurst04

Such a sad situation. Condolences for your earlier loss and your present difficulties.

JMoses24

Officially...he's being taken off life support at 12 noon local tomorrow. :( This one is going to be really hard.

US81


kurumi

Thoughts and prayers for you and your family.
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JMoses24

He's gone. Happened sometime before 2 PM local. May he rest in peace. I'm not sure I can adequately relate how much I'll miss him.

7/27/55-7/7/13 :'(

roadman65

I lost my dad last year.  You never get over it, but it does get easier along the way.  My condolences to you and your family, though.  Just remember the life that he had!
Every day is a winding road, you just got to get used to it.

Sheryl Crowe

broadhurst04

Quote from: JMoses24 on July 07, 2013, 02:50:00 PM
He's gone. Happened sometime before 2 PM local. May he rest in peace. I'm not sure I can adequately relate how much I'll miss him.

7/27/55-7/7/13 :'(


Hugs to you and your family.

akotchi

Thoughts and prayers to you and your family in this difficult time.
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JMoses24

Today will be the visitation at a funeral home in my birthplace of Hamilton, not far from where he spent a good bit of his life. :( This is going to be a rough day.

kphoger

I pray that you will find sympathetic shoulders if you need to cry in your grief.  I pray that you would know when to speak and when to be silent in others' grief.  I pray that the visitation would give you pause to honor him and learn from his life and his death.  And I pray that God would use this time with family and friends to bring you peace and joy.

Please keep sharing with us how things go and how you're doing.  May you be encouraged by knowing that we're thinking about you and praying for you, and may you know the indescribable peace that only comes from the Spirit of God.

Quote from: John 16:20—22, 30 (CEV)
I tell you for certain that you will cry and be sad, but the world will be happy. You will be sad, but later you will be happy.

When a woman is about to give birth, she is in great pain.  But after it is all over, she forgets the pain and is happy, because she has brought a child into the world.  You are now very sad.  But later I will see you, and you will be so happy that no one will be able to change the way you feel.

I have told you this, so that you might have peace in your hearts because of me.  While you are in the world, you will have to suffer. But cheer up! I have defeated the world.

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Dost thou understand the graveness of the circumstances?
Deut 23:13
Male pronouns, please.

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JMoses24

Thanks for that kphoger. That is a verse I'm trying to keep in mind.

I am feeling somewhat better. I cried a lot Wednesday night. I am hoping this is the last time I have to bury anyone for at least several years. Next weekend the plan is to take uncle Terry's ashes and scatter them in the Smokies south of Gatlinburg with my aunt Kathy's. I'm not sure if I will make the six hour drive yet...I may let my parents and other family do it.

JMoses24

Has it really been 2 months since uncle Terry passed?

It's gotten easier, but the pain has never truly gone away fully. I'm not sure it will for years to come. What my family went through in the week before Terry passed is not something any family can prepare for. I've relived the 5th of July several times, especially...because there were moments where I was the only man in the room with him. At times, I struggle with what I myself could have done differently -- although I know full well that ultimately, you can't stop a speeding train by standing on the track and holding your hand up at it.

As I wrote back in July, Terry had gone on a steep spiral into drugs and alcohol, and that was a path I myself felt I would be dragged into if I tried to get more involved. Now, I regret not doing so anyway, to be sure, but my family tried as hard as they could. I used to get mad when they'd let him in the house to drink, thinking they were enabling his behavior. While that may have been true, at the very least it meant he wasn't doing heroin and other drugs. I have come to understand this since July. It may have been too little too late, and looking back I regret getting upset over it, but I cannot change the past.

I am doing better than I was in July, but it took a total nervous breakdown to get there. Yes, a complete breakdown. I even ended up temporarily hospitalized. I'm on medications now, which are helping with both mental and physical issues (though, unfortunately, I still am unable to drive -- I want to change that in 2014!).

So, there's a two month update. I figured I'd put this in this thread, since kphoger suggested I do so to keep folks updated.

Laura

Thank you for the update. I am keeping you in prayer during this difficult time.

Billy F 1988

I'm telling you, this stuff doesn't come easy. I've been through things with my roommate in situations like this. Believe me. It leaves a bitter taste in my mouth when I hear someone I knew has passed away. I'm still dealing with one passage of an individual who died while riding a motorcycle on Seventh Street in the Orchard Homes subdivision of Missoula. It's been almost a month since that took place. I went to school with him. And, I'm coming up on one year in November since my other one committed suicide. It flat out sucks. I just want you to know that there are a lot of people under your wing at this very moment and in the weeks to come who will get you through this time of tragedy. No one person has to ever endure a tragedy alone. How do I know this? Because I've been through it. My uncle passed away almost ten years ago July 28, 2004 from alcohol related issues. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Truth be told, my emotions boiled to where I took a dry and dead tree branch and thrust it on the ground breaking it in two pieces. That's how I felt then.

I wish I can be down where you are and help guide you through it, but, honestly, you have people nearby which makes it a bit more manageable to bear the grief. I have confidence that you'll pull through. I'm sure you're uncle is with you in spirit. I try my best to think of the good times with my uncle Dan. One of them is pretty endearing to me. He'd come up behind me and tickle my rib cage. He'd come up with these "Billy Ribs" jokes when he did that, so any time I go eat a pair of BBQ ribs, I always am reminded of that moment. I don't know why, but I do know how it came to be. I'm sure you have some wonderful memories of the time you spent with your uncle. Think of a good moment and keep it with you because it will help you power past the grief.

Keep your head up high. Better days are ahead. You got a long road to recover, but believe me, you're just getting started and I'm sure you will make it.

God speed, JMoses. We're all thinking of you.
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