Minor things that bother you

[kphoger]

I fully admit this is going to sound ridiculous to you, but it's true—you either mostly know people who are more well off than average, or Wichita is an outlier among American cities.

Nope, not ridiculous at all.  While I am by no means personally better off than average, it's quite likely that the people I know are.

Out of curiosity, I looked up the numbers.  Our household income is right around the median for Wichita, but our household size is twice the average.  And I strongly suspect that not a single we know over age 25 earns less than either my wife or me.  Now, a couple of families have a stay-at-home mom who doesn't have a paying job, so that might throw off the numbers a little.  (My wife is a stay-at-home mom but also works from home.)

[Scott5114]

See, I can take time off from work so easily, that this is not an advantage.  I don't think I've ever been turned down for a time-off request.  Not in the dozen years, at least.  I just need to make sure I'm not taking off at the same time as my nearest co-worker, and then nobody bats an eye.  In fact, I earn more time off than I know what to do with most years.

Hourly vs. salary, benefits, and workplace policies factor into this too. I've worked jobs where getting off is easy, but it's hourly, so the incentive to not do so is that you lose 8× your hourly rate in pre-tax pay. That makes it pretty unappealing to miss work just to be able to supervise a plumber working on your house or whatever. I've also worked jobs where the manager would not approve any time off unless you had vacation time to cover it. And I've also worked jobs where they would just flat out not approve any time off ever, and if you wanted time off you basically had to call in sick and keep track of how often you had done that to avoid running afoul of the attendance policy.

None of my social circle is in the same type of industry as the one I work in.

This is true of me now, but that's because the industry I work in now is very small. When I worked at a casino, most of my social circle was people I met at work.

I'm actually in the situation now that most of my social circle is not in the same state as the one I live in. In fact, most of them are not in a state that I've ever lived in—my friend from California recently invited me to join his local D&D group, so now most of my social circle is Californians. I only have two Nevadan friends that I talk to one-on-one on a regular basis, and one of them lives in Carson City.

[kphoger]

Hourly vs. salary, benefits, and workplace policies factor into this too. I've worked jobs where getting off is easy, but it's hourly, so the incentive to not do so is that you lose 8× your hourly rate in pre-tax pay. That makes it pretty unappealing to miss work just to be able to supervise a plumber working on your house or whatever. I've also worked jobs where the manager would not approve any time off unless you had vacation time to cover it. And I've also worked jobs where they would just flat out not approve any time off ever, and if you wanted time off you basically had to call in sick and keep track of how often you had done that to avoid running afoul of the attendance policy.

I should clarify.  I'm hourly.  But I've been with the company long enough that I earn five weeks of PTO per year.  And I can only carry forty hours over from year to year, so it's either use it or lose it.  So, in my situation, I am incentivized to use my time off, but I'm just not the type of person who actually does unless I have a really good reason.  Suffice it to say that I never have five weeks' worth of good reasons per year.

[Scott5114]

I should clarify.  I'm hourly.  But I've been with the company long enough that I earn five weeks of PTO per year.

Wow! The most PTO I ever got, with 10 years of service, was 40 hours per year (awarded as a lump sum on my anniversary date every September).

I don't get PTO at all now, but I'm also not strictly hourly (it depends on what kind of work needs to be done), and Jake doesn't really care what I do when as long as the weekly sign order gets put in with the manufacturer every Thursday. If I want to go on a vacation or something, I can, I just have to take my laptop with me and make time to get the order in on Thursday night. (This meant I had to put the order in while on the Strip once, before I lived here. That wasn't fun.)

[Rothman]

Hourly vs. salary, benefits, and workplace policies factor into this too. I've worked jobs where getting off is easy, but it's hourly, so the incentive to not do so is that you lose 8× your hourly rate in pre-tax pay. That makes it pretty unappealing to miss work just to be able to supervise a plumber working on your house or whatever. I've also worked jobs where the manager would not approve any time off unless you had vacation time to cover it. And I've also worked jobs where they would just flat out not approve any time off ever, and if you wanted time off you basically had to call in sick and keep track of how often you had done that to avoid running afoul of the attendance policy.

I should clarify.  I'm hourly.  But I've been with the company long enough that I earn five weeks of PTO per year.  And I can only carry forty hours over from year to year, so it's either use it or lose it.  So, in my situation, I am incentivized to use my time off, but I'm just not the type of person who actually does unless I have a really good reason.  Suffice it to say that I never have five weeks' worth of good reasons per year.

That last sentence is rather sad. 

[kphoger]

That last sentence is rather sad. 

Even if I took two week-long vacations per year, plus five days off for this or that throughout the year, that would still only get me up to three weeks.

And my wife is self-employed, working from home.  Her primary job is as a home daycare provider.  Whenever we go on a trip, all of the daycare kids' parents have to either take time off themselves or arrange for someone else to watch their kids.  This, because my wife is a decent person who thinks of others, is something she tries to do as infrequently as necessary.  And it's not exactly appealing to me to take time off 'just because' and then spend it at home with other people's kids.

Frankly, unless someone has a whole bunch of money to throw around on travel, I don't know how anybody finds five weeks' worth of good reasons per year.

[GaryV]

When I worked at Chrysler, I used some of my 5 weeks for volunteer opportunities. (Newer hires had a new time off schedule that wouldn't reach 5 weeks.) It was use it or lose it, so often the offices were pretty empty in December.

And considering that we had somewhere around 15 holidays per year (depending on what day of the week things like Christmas and 4th of July fell), there were times when I took off just because.

[Rothman]

That last sentence is rather sad. 

Even if I took two week-long vacations per year, plus five days off for this or that throughout the year, that would still only get me up to three weeks.

And my wife is self-employed, working from home.  Her primary job is as a home daycare provider.  Whenever we go on a trip, all of the daycare kids' parents have to either take time off themselves or arrange for someone else to watch their kids.  This, because my wife is a decent person who thinks of others, is something she tries to do as infrequently as necessary.  And it's not exactly appealing to me to take time off 'just because' and then spend it at home with other people's kids.

Frankly, unless someone has a whole bunch of money to throw around on travel, I don't know how anybody finds five weeks' worth of good reasons per year.

I can certainly understand the constraints of having to hang around the germ-infested daycare or not having enough money to enjoy a good time off.  I loathe "staycations" myself.  Feels like wasted time just sitting around or doing chores at best.

I can certainly come up with good reasons to take a vacation if money was no object, though.

[JayhawkCO]

Frankly, unless someone has a whole bunch of money to throw around on travel, I don't know how anybody finds five weeks' worth of good reasons per year.

Granted, I tend to travel a lot, but I also spend probably two weeks of vacation every year on camping/hiking, two activities that don't cost a thing (other than gas and food) once you already have your gear.

[kphoger]

I can certainly understand the constraints of having to hang around the germ-infested daycare ...

Oh, I'd rather hang around germ-infested daycare kids—assuming they're not constantly whining from body aches or something—than healthy ones.  Sick kids are calm and snuggly.  Healthy kids are loud and annoying.  When one of my own kids is sick, the easiest way to tell when he's better is that he's back to annoying his brothers.  And we have a small house...

... or not having enough money to enjoy a good time off.

I've taken the boys camping without my wife a few times in the past, and I did recently fly to Mexico for a five-day trip.  The thing is, though, she hates being without me during the evenings.

Also, we only have one car.  I could drive somewhere, but then she'd be stranded at home.  I could fly or rent a car, but she's still be stranded at home because she doesn't know how to drive stick shift.  I suppose I could rent a car and then just leave it in the driveway for her to use...

I loathe "staycations" myself.  Feels like wasted time just sitting around or doing chores at best.

The closest I've come is when my sister and her husband, my parents, and our family were going to do a big vacation together to the Lake of the Ozarks, but then my dad had excruciating back pain so we didn't go.  Instead, we planned activities to do together at home, some activities out around town that my dad didn't mind missing out on, our favorite meals to cook, etc.  I do think we might have done some yard work because of his bad back, so maybe a few chores did get thrown in.

[Rothman]

Camping is one of those activities where I'm quite happy to have learned the useful skill and therefore will do it when I have to...but have finally had the realization that I just don't enjoy it that much.

[ZLoth]

At the company I used to work for, I would get 160 hours of PTO per year, and the cap was 280 hours because I was there for more than five years. PTO can be used for vacation, illness, or mental days off. You did have to keep some in reserve for the shutdown between Christmas and New Years. But, last year, it was converted to "unlimited PTO", and what you had accumulated was paid out.

The last major vacation I took was a month long, starting with the Christmas break and ending around January 20th, 2024. The time off included a 10 day cruise which was postponed two years due to medical reasons. Covid also scrambled vacation plans.

Since I'm now unemployed and looking for a new position, I've been using the opportunity to take some day road trips around the DFW area.

[elsmere241]

Currently, I think I pick up six weeks' vacation each year in January.  (It goes up by a day each year.)  We like to travel to see family, so every couple of years we take five weeks or so to drive around the country - I mainly use the vacation for that.  Plus every so often I take some time off from work, either to relax, or I take a couple of hours off in the afternoon for something.  The vacation time is there for when I need it; I always have a good deal of it still at the end of the year, and it does carry over.

[1995hoo]

Camping is one of those activities where I'm quite happy to have learned the useful skill and therefore will do it when I have to...but have finally had the realization that I just don't enjoy it that much.

I used to enjoy camping very much. In addition to many good trips in my Boy Scout days, we took multiple family vacations in which we camped in tents. We usually had a very good time, even when it rained. But I'm at a stage of my life where that doesn't appeal to me, and I know there is no way my wife would be willing to sleep on the ground. Plus she is a very light sleeper and the noises of nature would wake her up.

Granted, I tend to travel a lot, but I also spend probably two weeks of vacation every year on camping/hiking, two activities that don't cost a thing (other than gas and food) once you already have your gear.

I find the "don't cost a thing" part mildly amusing because that's definitely not the case for most camping if you live on the East Coast due to the need to pay to use a campsite, including paying for a permit to camp at national park campsites.

[JayhawkCO]

I find the "don't cost a thing" part mildly amusing because that's definitely not the case for most camping if you live on the East Coast due to the need to pay to use a campsite, including paying for a permit to camp at national park campsites.

Hence why I don't live out east. Camping around a ton of other people doesn't feel like camping.

[kphoger]

I used to enjoy camping very much ... But I'm at a stage of my life where that doesn't appeal to me, and I know there is no way my wife would be willing to sleep on the ground.

When I was a baby, my parents and my sister did a driving trip from Chicago to the Grand Canyon and back, in July, with no a/c in the car, tent camping along the way (I stayed back with my grandma in Kansas City and learned to walk while they were gone).

I have early childhood memories of tent camping in state parks with the whole family, my mom included.

When I was older, I remember going on camping trips with my dad while my mom stayed home, and family vacations during which we'd stay somewhere like a park lodge or a La Quinta motel.

After I'd left home, my parents started staying at boutique hotels while on vacation.

Nowadays, in their older age, she doesn't even want to fly anywhere anymore.  Pretty much their only vacations now are whole-family affairs with the five of us and my sister and brother-in-law.  We drive there, rent a whole vacation home, and just spread out.

Quite a transition from their just-married days.

[GaryV]

My sister and brother-in-law have come up with an interesting alternative. He's a retired teacher and takes some sub positions from time to time. She's work from home most of the time (once or twice a year they have all-company meet ups).

Last year they rented a series of AirBnB's, one week at a time. They'd travel and do things on the weekend, and then she'd work from "home" at the rentals for 4 of 5 days. They will be doing it again this fall.

[vdeane]

Frankly, unless someone has a whole bunch of money to throw around on travel, I don't know how anybody finds five weeks' worth of good reasons per year.

I actually can fairly easily, but then, I do have money to travel, and my family lives 225 miles away, so I'm taking a day or two regularly for family gatherings.  Between that, what's turning out to be an annual trip to the Thousand Islands with my parents, and roadmeets/other travel, I go through that amount pretty quick, especially with using an hour or two of personal leave at periodic intervals for things like haircuts and car maintenance.  Here's how the breakdown looks/looked this year:

January haircut (2 hours)
Bridal shower (~1.75 days - got a little weird due to a work meeting that got scheduled around this time)
April haircut (2 hours)
Easter (2 days)
Wedding and parents visiting me after (3 days)
Oil change (0.5-1 hour(s))
Maine trip (2.5 days - also got a little weird due to a work meeting)
Car inspection (0.75 hours)
Family picnic (2 days)
Quad State II Roadmeet (2 days)
Thousand Islands (5 days)
Labor Day (1 day)
Baby shower (1 day)
October haircut (1.5 hours)
Thanksgiving (2 days)
Christmas (4 days - full week due to Christmas being on Thursday this year, as the family gathering is Wednesday for Christmas Eve)

This equates to roughly 27.25 days in total.  I'm also looking at next year already:

Easter (2 days)
Harrisburg roadmeet (2 days)
Memorial Day (1 day)
July 4 (0-1 day)
Family Picnic (2 days)
Bridal shower (1-2 days)
Thousand Islands (5 days)
Labor Day (1 day)
Wedding (1-2 days)
Thanksgiving (2-3 days)
Christmas (2 days)
Haircuts (~6 hours)
Oil changes/car inspections (~3-5 hours)

So currently looking at 21.5 days for next year, assuming I don't need time for another roadmeet (looking at the Frederick; I can daytrip the Middletown one) or to move to a different apartment.  And who knows if there will be a birthday party for the new baby or something else thrown in.  Now, I did figure out a way to cut the time down for haircuts (as visible here).  I can squeeze the trips for Easter and the family picnic down to 1 day and not taking a day off for Memorial Day (which has the lowest traffic of the summer holidays and therefore I'm the most willing to drive back on the peak travel day; this also makes these trips a lot less leisurely and more exhausting than they already are) and using the lower end of other trips like Thanksgiving, the wedding, and expected bridal shower, but I'm still thinking I'm going to have to be much more judicious with time off going forward, maybe even skipping some family gatherings.  I'm not sure when I'll get to do another trip not tied to a roadmeet or family, as it's clear that I don't have time for them right now.  I've been dipping into reserves that built up from the pandemic and that I had saved for a cross-country trip that I later deemed infeasible, but that's over now; I'm back down to my regular reserve that I want to keep so that I can take time without worrying about when exactly it's earned (in other words, I don't want the time off equivalent of living paycheck to paycheck, although personal leave kinda has to be due to the "you get 5 days per year, use it or lose it" nature of it).

It would help if I didn't regularly need time to mentally "crash", which would cut the time I need for roadmeets in half and make using weekends exclusively for shorter trips feasible.

I could see New York vs. Kansas being an issue too.  Even if I wasn't using a ton of time to visit family, there's so much scenery and other things to do in daytrip range that I could easily find ways to use it even if I didn't have the money to stay overnight often.  But yeah, your wife operating the daycare is a limiting factor.

[mgk920]

Also, those kids that were raised in a 'germ filled' daycare will very likely have much healthier adult immune systems than those who are raised in bubble-wrapped sterility.

Mike

[kphoger]

Oil change

Whenever I have work done on the car, I have them give me a ride to work after I drop it off.  I only miss about a half-hour.

[Max Rockatansky]

Right now I get 6.3 weeks of vacation a year and can carry over 240 hours in reserve.  That is on top of having 11 Federal Holidays off.  I usually am off of work for at least 8 weeks a year.  I'm not necessarily traveling all that time off but definitely at least half of it.

[kphoger]

I get 6.3 hours of vacation a year

Did you make a typo?

[Max Rockatansky]

I get 6.3 weeks of vacation a year

Did you make a typo?

Yes

[JayhawkCO]

Unlimited PTO and very flexible work schedule. It doesn't suck.

[Rothman]

Also, those kids that were raised in a 'germ filled' daycare will very likely have much healthier adult immune systems than those who are raised in bubble-wrapped sterility.

Mike

All daycares are germ filled.