Are you happy with the state/province/country you live in?

[Rothman]

MN: I've had the privilege to visit some cool stuff, but to move away where I couldn't go to the North Shore would devastate me. I've never found anywhere else I like better.

North Shore has been "discovered" and therefore overcrowded.  Very disappointing to me nowadays compared to when I lived up there 20-some years ago, when it was more enjoyable (still had summer crowds, but not the swarms that affect it now).

US: No. I realize I have no place here. But because I would never be accepted anywhere else either either culturally or economically, I'm stuck. Realizing I have no place in this life has been a tough realization lately.

Our country's a pretty big, diverse place.  Not sure what aspects of your culture or economics means you're stuck in...Minnesota?  I mean, you need money to live anywhere in the world...

[Max Rockatansky]

I can only speak for myself but most of my problems with "places" largely dissipated once I had a significant enough income.  Seems the misgivings I had in the Midwest growing up weren't so much the environment around me but rather the fact I was too young to have actual independence.  I don't really ever recall caring all that much about finding community attachment to anywhere I've lived. 

As an example I tend to look upon Michigan much more favorably as an adult now that I can go and do what I want.  When I was younger it was way easier to point fingers at external sources I believed to be the problem rather than myself.  I guess that I got a good dose or reality once I moved to Arizona with my savings and discovered that I still had to make something for myself.  I thought that I had a vested interest in localized politics when I was younger, but long term I found it to be largely a non-factor.

[vdeane]

US: No. I realize I have no place here. But because I would never be accepted anywhere else either either culturally or economically, I'm stuck. Realizing I have no place in this life has been a tough realization lately.

Our country's a pretty big, diverse place.  Not sure what aspects of your culture or economics means you're stuck in...Minnesota?  I mean, you need money to live anywhere in the world...

I imagine it has something to do with being a combination of somewhere he'd want to live and getting a visa for immigrating there.  For instance, my favorite city is Montréal, but I doubt I'll ever actually live there because Québec doesn't want anyone other than native francophones, and that's on top of the Canada-wide issue of needing to have specialized experience in certain jobs and hoping that you managed to be one of the few who get one of a limited number of visas given out each year (and honestly, this issue exists to varying extents across the entire developed world, especially in Western countries).  Plus the cost of taking language tests and the like.

[Rothman]

US: No. I realize I have no place here. But because I would never be accepted anywhere else either either culturally or economically, I'm stuck. Realizing I have no place in this life has been a tough realization lately.

Our country's a pretty big, diverse place.  Not sure what aspects of your culture or economics means you're stuck in...Minnesota?  I mean, you need money to live anywhere in the world...

I imagine it has something to do with being a combination of somewhere he'd want to live and getting a visa for immigrating there.  For instance, my favorite city is Montréal, but I doubt I'll ever actually live there because Québec doesn't want anyone other than native francophones, and that's on top of the Canada-wide issue of needing to have specialized experience in certain jobs and hoping that you managed to be one of the few who get one of a limited number of visas given out each year (and honestly, this issue exists to varying extents across the entire developed world, especially in Western countries).  Plus the cost of taking language tests and the like.

I was just surprised there's no where in the U.S. where they'd be "accepted."

[kphoger]

I was just surprised there's no where in the U.S. where they'd be "accepted."

Unless you can prove that you won't be a financial burden on society, then most countries won't "accept" you "economically".

[webny99]

The Great State of New York lives up to its name.  The economic engine of the world in the south, Niagara Falls in the west, Adirondacks to the north, ocean beaches and barrier islands in the southeast ...

I'm glad you went first so we don't have to argue about silly stuff. 

Honestly, high taxes and lack of DOT funding are my two biggest issues with living in NY. While I do feel that Upstate NY would be a better off as its own state, the lack of other major issues speaks well for the state overall.

[Takumi]

I'm happy in central Virginia. If there's something the Richmond area doesn't have, it's probably within a couple hours drive. (Mountains, beach, bigger cities, isolation, Nando's.) My wife and I have considered moving down the line, but we want to explore other parts of the state and country first to see if there's somewhere that calls more to us.

[kphoger]

I'm happy in central Virginia. If there's something the Richmond area doesn't have, it's probably within a couple hours drive. (Mountains, beach, bigger cities, isolation, Nando's.) My wife and I have considered moving down the line, but we want to explore other parts of the state and country first to see if there's somewhere that calls more to us.

My eyes just kind of skimmed over that word, and at first I thought it was Nachos.  And I thought it was strange you can't find nachos in Richmond.

[vdeane]

US: No. I realize I have no place here. But because I would never be accepted anywhere else either either culturally or economically, I'm stuck. Realizing I have no place in this life has been a tough realization lately.

Our country's a pretty big, diverse place.  Not sure what aspects of your culture or economics means you're stuck in...Minnesota?  I mean, you need money to live anywhere in the world...

I imagine it has something to do with being a combination of somewhere he'd want to live and getting a visa for immigrating there.  For instance, my favorite city is Montréal, but I doubt I'll ever actually live there because Québec doesn't want anyone other than native francophones, and that's on top of the Canada-wide issue of needing to have specialized experience in certain jobs and hoping that you managed to be one of the few who get one of a limited number of visas given out each year (and honestly, this issue exists to varying extents across the entire developed world, especially in Western countries).  Plus the cost of taking language tests and the like.

I was just surprised there's no where in the U.S. where they'd be "accepted."

While individual communities are probably fine, I imagine this has something to do with the federal government.

[TheHighwayMan3561]

It's social, political, economic, and personal. Because some people weren't meant to exist, and I was one of them. I don't think anyone here can comprehend being fully unloved at every stage of your life as I have.

[Roadgeekteen]

It's social, political, economic, and personal. Because some people weren't meant to exist, and I was one of them. I don't think anyone here can comprehend being fully unloved at every stage of your life as I have.

I just want to let you know that I care about you and I'm sure others on the forum do as well.

[Rothman]

It's social, political, economic, and personal. Because some people weren't meant to exist, and I was one of them. I don't think anyone here can comprehend being fully unloved at every stage of your life as I have.

O.o

Pretty sure we were all meant to exist.  I've appreciated your input on here and wouldn't have had that if you didn't.

[Scott5114]

It's social, political, economic, and personal. Because some people weren't meant to exist, and I was one of them. I don't think anyone here can comprehend being fully unloved at every stage of your life as I have.

I have to admit, on bad days, I see myself in this post as well. The overall culture of the United States is just...well, these days it's fucking mean, for no good reason, and I hate it. Part of what I like about Nevada is that the "anything goes" mindset the state is built on partially cancels that out, but when I read the news from other parts of the country I can't help but shake my head, reminded of the Calvin Coolidge quote "I feel I no longer fit in with these times."

[Roadgeekteen]

It's social, political, economic, and personal. Because some people weren't meant to exist, and I was one of them. I don't think anyone here can comprehend being fully unloved at every stage of your life as I have.

I have to admit, on bad days, I see myself in this post as well. The overall culture of the United States is just...well, these days it's fucking mean, for no good reason, and I hate it. Part of what I like about Nevada is that the "anything goes" mindset the state is built on partially cancels that out, but when I read the news from other parts of the country I can't help but shake my head, reminded of the Calvin Coolidge quote "I feel I no longer fit in with these times."

blame social media for radicalizing people.

[Scott5114]

It's social, political, economic, and personal. Because some people weren't meant to exist, and I was one of them. I don't think anyone here can comprehend being fully unloved at every stage of your life as I have.

I have to admit, on bad days, I see myself in this post as well. The overall culture of the United States is just...well, these days it's fucking mean, for no good reason, and I hate it. Part of what I like about Nevada is that the "anything goes" mindset the state is built on partially cancels that out, but when I read the news from other parts of the country I can't help but shake my head, reminded of the Calvin Coolidge quote "I feel I no longer fit in with these times."

blame social media for radicalizing people.

That's not all of it, though, since it extends to people who have never had a social media account in their lives. I would agree with the idea that social media made a subset of the population start to act awful, and then other people who were inclined to be awful saw that as giving them permission to be awful, and then it snowballed.

Or, put another way, my dad has always been an asshole who wants people who disagree with him to die. He used to be a weird outlier without many friends cause of it. Now he's just normal.

[Max Rockatansky]

Social media just gives angry and angsty people a platform.  People have always acted this bad; it just wasn't until recently until your average Joe could show the entire world at a whim.

[kkt]

There's always been a pretty nasty undercurrent in the United States:  the John Birch Society, the Klan, the McCarthy red scares.  But social media makes it more visible.

[achilles765]

This tends to surprise and shock a lot of people when I say this, given that I'm very much a center-left gay man married to someone who is half Mexican and who thinks a Buttigieg/sanders or Buttigieg/AOC presidential administration would be one of the best things to happen to this country in decades, but yes I actually really like living in Texas. Maybe that's because I'm in relatively blue, incredibly diverse Houston—I may feel differently if I lived in one of those backwoods country towns but my experience over the last 17 years of living here has been nothing but positive.

We get a lot of bad press, become the butt of jokes and are portrayed as being a state full of insane ultra right wing nuts who all own twelve guns each and love executing mentally handicapped people, but the reality is much more grey and nuanced.

Sure, the gun thing is kind of true. Even most left leaning democrats here have guns. I have three. But even the most staunch republican Christian actually cares very little about whether the next door neighbors are gay or undocumented or Hindus. There is still a strong belief in personal freedom and letting people make their own decisions and staying out of peoples business. Unfortunately the people who are most likely to vote are not those people and they vote for people like our current leaders who are trying to turn us into a Christian nationalist utopia. But that's largely due to the efforts of exactly two billionaire oil barons from out in west Texas.

The reality of living somewhere like Houston is that it's still very affordable. Traffic is bad and  I do hate our summers. Like. I HATE summer. And I hate the giant cockroaches that are everywhere. But the people here are and always have been some of the kindest, most welcoming, most open and respectful people I've ever met in any of the places I've lived or visited. And I've been all up and down the east coast, been to LA and San Diego. I grew up in Mississippi/Louisiana in a rural area and I Hated that.

Houston is also an incredibly diverse city. And unlike many other "diverse" cities where there are many different groups, but they all segregate into their own neighborhoods and don't generally mingle, in Houston everyone kind of mixes together. You can see this very clearly if you got to eat in any restaurant in Houston. You'll see sitting at the same table, dining together, laughing and enjoying each other's company a group that may contain a Muslim woman and a hijab, a gay man, a black man and a white woman. You'll see many couples of mixed race/ethnicity. Every group also brings some aspect of their culture and traditions to the city in some way. We have a ton of halal food trucks and stores. Little Mexican grocery stores are all over the place. Especially in my neighborhood which is a predominantly Mexican American neighborhood. 

There's also a pretty high quality of life in general. I'm far from wealthy. I'm a professional bartender. I make probably about $50-$53,000 a year. My husband makes about $30,000. We are able to live quite comfortably. Part of that is that we got incredibly lucky with the house that we rent. Our rent is stupid, cheap even though we have a house with a pretty big backyard. But even friends and coworkers of mine who live in the more trendy expensive neighborhoods like Montrose and Midtown are able to comfortably afford their rent and other expenses while still having active social lives.

Would I ever move?  Yes probably. If the political situation becomes too far right or it starts to spread more into Houston—. And as much as I love it here it would be nice to have a change of scenery and experience a new place. I would love to live somewhere where it's not as hot. I'd love to live in a mountainous area. It's cliche but I think I'd like Denver or Salt Lake City. Or the Pacific Northwest if we could afford it.

But if that never happens I won't be unhappy for Houston to be my permanent home.

[kphoger]

Historically speaking, people have always been mean—throughout the centuries and across the world—to people who are different than them.  If anything, our society is way more tolerant of differences now than most any society to have existed in history.  But, for most of American history, it was very much out of the norm to believe that certain people just plain deserved to die.  As Scott said, thinking that way would certainly have made a person an outlier just a couple of generations ago.  But nowadays, even on this forum, whenever there's a RIP thread about a controversial figure, it seems a few forum members inevitably say something like "I can't say I'm sorry he's dead" or something similar.  We've gotten to the point that it's actually kind of common to dehumanize people and literally think they deserve to die.  We've gotten to the point that we really do think the other side of the proverbial aisle has nothing but evil people who don't even deserve to breathe the same air as we do.

I think part of this is due to the fact that we live such separate lives nowadays.  We get into the car in the garage, pull out and drive to work, then get off work and do the same thing in reverse.  We don't spend time at our neighbor's house, we don't join bowling leagues or quilting groups, we don't go the mall with our friends, we don't have block parties, we don't attend church or civil organization meetings, we live a lot more of our lives behind glass than our parents and grandparents did.  And what this means is that we're not rubbing shoulders with people who are different from us.  We're no longer forced to respect or tolerate or even listen to anyone we don't agree with.  Our worldview is now filtered through talking heads on YouTube, and the algorithm makes sure that that worldview just keeps getting more and more warped as time goes on.

*sigh*

[NWI_Irish96]

But nowadays, even on this forum, whenever there's a RIP thread about a controversial figure, it seems a few forum members inevitably say something like "I can't say I'm sorry he's dead" or something similar. 

If a person was actively promoting or condoning violence against others and/or government policies that lead to widespread deterioration in public health or economic conditions, then I don't consider it dehumanizing to say that I'm not sorry that person is dead. I think it's exactly the opposite.

[kphoger]

I don't consider it dehumanizing to say that I'm not sorry that person is dead. I think it's exactly the opposite.

Everyone else who wishes people were dead believes that about the object of their hatred too.

[Max Rockatansky]

Total aside, I've never really understood the fascination with the mortality of celebrities.  I highly doubt any of knew even one of the celebrities who got mentioned in any of the RIP threads over the lifetime of this forum.  It just seems odd to me given the lack of a tangible personal connection to have such an investment.

[kphoger]

Total aside, I've never really understood the fascination with the mortality of celebrities.  I highly doubt any of knew even one of the celebrities who got mentioned in any of the RIP threads over the lifetime of this forum.  It just seems odd to me given the lack of a tangible personal connection to have such an investment.

I know this has come up before, but I don't really understand the fascination with the lives of celebrities.  If their lives fascinate you, then it makes sense that their deaths will too.

[NWI_Irish96]

I don't consider it dehumanizing to say that I'm not sorry that person is dead. I think it's exactly the opposite.

Everyone else who wishes people were dead believes that about the object of their hatred too.

There's a big difference between wishing someone was dead and not being sorry about their death. I don't wish anybody dead, but I'm not sorry about someone's death when they cause so much suffering.

[Molandfreak]

The big tragedy is that his children have to grow up without a father. These are innocent lives that I do feel the utmost sorrow for since even though I lost my father in an accident at 19 (barely an adult), I still had a lot of growing up to do and may have gotten through university/grad school quicker with his support. As it stands, I feel like I have nothing to show for my life throughout my 20's since I was so stricken with grief for all those years.

This is why deplatforming is the humane way to take away a person's reach who simply does not care how many lives they hurt, either implicitly or explicitly. The deplatforming of Milo Yiannopoulos proves this: he is still alive and well, but he no longer has the audience or platform to spread nazi-adjacent rhetoric and influence millions. I have heard his name come up in the news maybe 3 times since 2016, and each time it was usually in connection with another public figure such as Kanye West.