Daily conversation: What is the worst possible answer?

[kphoger]

BTW, this is my favorite so far:

Both are signs for camel crossings, but the top is for one-hump camels and the bottom is for two-humpers.

[1995hoo]

These are for households

Interesting.  I'd never heard of household-specific warning signs before.

About 30 years ago, my brother's fraternity down in Williamsburg had a big warning sign on the bathroom door. It said, of course, "NO DUMPING."

[JayhawkCO]

Mild massage
Deep tissue massage

[Sapphuby]

05 SEP 2025

Explain the difference:

One of those pimples is gonna be messier to pop.

[LilianaUwU]

9/6/2025:

What should be done about cars using bus-only lanes?

[Max Rockatansky]

9/6/2025:

What should be done about cars using bus-only lanes?

Give the offending owners the Human Centipede treatment.

[Sapphuby]

9/6/2025:

What should be done about cars using bus-only lanes?

Extensive AI algorithms installed into every road, which if they detect a car, deploy large tire spikes that disable the car after 3 seconds of continued occupancy, avoiding collateral.

[kurumi]

9/6/2025:

What should be done about cars using bus-only lanes?

Every mass transit system has underserved areas. Assign the car to one of them and attach appropriate signs ("228 Downtown / Emporium" etc.) That car is a bus now, and its driver is a bus driver. And it cannot turn away any passenger with a fare.

[MikeTheActuary]

9/6/2025:

What should be done about cars using bus-only lanes?

Missiles.

[pderocco]

9/6/2025:

What should be done about cars using bus-only lanes?

Allow cars to self-identify as buses.

[Roadgeekteen]

Give the car lanes to the buses

[LilianaUwU]

9/6/2025:

What should be done about cars using bus-only lanes?

Allow cars to self-identify as buses.

You really nailed it. I don't think there is a worse answer than this.

[GaryV]

9/6/2025:

What should be done about cars using bus-only lanes?

Drones with graphing hooks.

[thspfc]

9/6/2025:

What should be done about cars using bus-only lanes?

Drones with graphing hooks.

One man's joke is another man's epiphany.

Quote from: MultiMillionMiler on January 04, 2023, 07:16:26 PM

        Alright, I admit I had a little headache when writing all that so maybe I wasn't thinking straight. Let me go back to my most realistic, feasible, and needed aviation idea: The helicopter assistance for runaway trucks.

       A military grade helicopter capable of moving at 300 mph would pace the truck, shoot down a solid steel cable that has a large cylindrical electromagnet at the bottom, plus 4 back up grappling hooks in case the current in the magma fails. For very large double rig or triple rig trailers, 2-3 helicopters may be used at each end to stabilize it while lifting it off the ground so its not dangling in the air.
       A big circular red button would be installed right on the consol that the driver would just need to press, and it would instantly alert the nearest heliport that the truck needs help or is out of control.

    On particularly risky stretches of road, such as I-70 through the Rockies, these helicopters would regularly fly in formation above the highway patrolling so they could assist faster if needed. Otherwise they would be on standby in the nearest aviation yard/heliport with military pilots ready to go at a moments notice. This button would be multi-purpose, also alerting the traffic news station about the runaway truck so they could notify drivers to get their cars off the highway as soon as possible just in case the helicopters failed. The button would be designed however so that it couldn't be activated just by bumping into it, (wasting all the time and effort) but it would be easily pressable in an actual emergency.

[Max Rockatansky]

It is all fun and games in the bus lane until the helicopter with graphing hooks comes for you. 

[formulanone]

9/6/2025:

What should be done about cars using bus-only lanes?

Give the offending owners the Human Centipede treatment.

I need some studies of whether giving people more arms and legs might change the amount of distracted driving which may ensue. More hands on the wheel, but perhaps a phone, camera, coffee cup, water tumbler, pistol, and a book might decrease attention span. On the other hand, maybe reaction times will increase since left-foot braking and side bolstering during cornering might offset those demands by permitting greater speeds. Maybe compound eyes will improve coordination-related  activities, but I think our brains can't yet cope with the amount of visual and tactical data so we might be limited to short trips before needing a break.

I propose a closed-course racing series with mutants to see if this works out before unleashing this on the streets and highways God built. We'll know for sure if lap times decrease while the ability to perform auto-biathlon tournaments while reciting poetry without on-track incidents if this was successful venture into forcing punctuated equilibrium or the true demise of human civilization.

And this my friends, is why I've known since 1982, that you can't put the game Pole Position into a Centipede coin-operated cabinet.

[Max Rockatansky]

9/6/2025:

What should be done about cars using bus-only lanes?

Give the offending owners the Human Centipede treatment.

I need some studies of whether giving people more arms and legs might change the amount of distracted driving which may ensue. More hands on the wheel, but perhaps a phone, camera, coffee cup, water tumbler, pistol, and a book might decrease attention span. On the other hand, maybe reaction times will increase since left-foot braking and side bolstering during cornering might offset those demands by permitting greater speeds. Maybe compound eyes will improve coordination-related  activities, but I think our brains can't yet cope with the amount of visual and tactical data so we might be limited to short trips before needing a break.

I propose a closed-course racing series with mutants to see if this works out before unleashing this on the streets and highways God built. We'll know for sure if lap times decrease while the ability to perform auto-biathlon tournaments while reciting poetry without on-track incidents if this was successful venture into forcing punctuated equilibrium or the true demise of human civilization.

And this my friends, is why I've known since 1982, that you can't put the game Pole Position into a Centipede coin-operated cabinet.

This is spit ball speculation on my part, but I would think that having someone's face sewn to the ass of another person would probably fully negate their ability to drive.

[TheCatalyst31]

9/6/2025:

What should be done about cars using bus-only lanes?

Put a giant plow on the front of the bus to shove the cars out of the way.

[1995hoo]

9/6/2025:

What should be done about cars using bus-only lanes?

Allow cars to self-identify as buses.

Would they be called transbustites?

(Although that sounds like that guy who appeared on the Man Show about 20 or so years ago after getting breast implants in order to win a bet.)

[Big John]

Put a full-size opening in the back of the bus. Any car travelling in that lane must enter that opening.

[vdeane]

9/6/2025:

What should be done about cars using bus-only lanes?

Drones with graphing hooks.

One man's joke is another man's epiphany.

Quote from: MultiMillionMiler on January 04, 2023, 07:16:26 PM

        Alright, I admit I had a little headache when writing all that so maybe I wasn't thinking straight. Let me go back to my most realistic, feasible, and needed aviation idea: The helicopter assistance for runaway trucks.

      A military grade helicopter capable of moving at 300 mph would pace the truck, shoot down a solid steel cable that has a large cylindrical electromagnet at the bottom, plus 4 back up grappling hooks in case the current in the magma fails. For very large double rig or triple rig trailers, 2-3 helicopters may be used at each end to stabilize it while lifting it off the ground so its not dangling in the air.
      A big circular red button would be installed right on the consol that the driver would just need to press, and it would instantly alert the nearest heliport that the truck needs help or is out of control.

    On particularly risky stretches of road, such as I-70 through the Rockies, these helicopters would regularly fly in formation above the highway patrolling so they could assist faster if needed. Otherwise they would be on standby in the nearest aviation yard/heliport with military pilots ready to go at a moments notice. This button would be multi-purpose, also alerting the traffic news station about the runaway truck so they could notify drivers to get their cars off the highway as soon as possible just in case the helicopters failed. The button would be designed however so that it couldn't be activated just by bumping into it, (wasting all the time and effort) but it would be easily pressable in an actual emergency.

Where do you think the joke came from?

9/6/2025:

What should be done about cars using bus-only lanes?

Allow cars to self-identify as buses.

Anyone else think this joke is transphobic?

[LilianaUwU]

9/6/2025:

What should be done about cars using bus-only lanes?

Allow cars to self-identify as buses.

Anyone else think this joke is transphobic?

Hence my comment about it truly being the worst answer.