Interactive roadgeek roadtrip story, post your own prose

[SteveG1988]

The rules are simple.

1: No more than 2 paragraphs

2: Must continue directly on from the prior post

3: Must have an open ended ending for the following post to follow

4: Events can be random, but within the realm of reality, no alien abductions for example, but an earthquake rendering the route dictated by the prior post impassable is doable, but only if it could realisticaly happen in that area. No landslides in the NJ Pine barrens for example, but you can have road buckling due to heavy rains instead.

5: Use "...." To end your story post, and to begin the next one.

Start Point: Key West Florida


You set out north on US1 on the overseas highway, it is a beautiful day in mid May. Your rental car is fully fueled up, you intend to circumnavigate the united states starting at key west and ending there. All your fuel, tolls, and lodging are paid for by a magazine you write for, they even flew you into key west to start the journey. The clouds darken above as you get closer to Bahia Honda Key where upon you see.....

[hotdogPi]

an error I-1 shield. You take pictures of it. As you continue further north, everything seems normal, but then it starts to rain. The rain stays light for about 30 minutes. You stay on US 1 until you reach I-95, which you then take. There is a VMS mentioning a flash flood warning, even though the rain still seems to be light. The next VMS looks the same at first, but it changes to "Exit 60 closed due to flood" while you are approaching. It is raining harder. The next VMS says...

[kurumi]

"Pay attention Steve this is important."

Startled out of your lull, you squint at the sign as you pass by. The message is still there. You briefly wonder if anyone else on the highway is seeing the same message. Steve was your original name, the one your parents intended. But your birth was early, and in the rush your father filled out the form "Stove". By the time your parents noticed, the name had already been submitted, and the fee to change it was an outrageous $45.

To your friends and coworkers, you're Stove; to family (and now that sign), Steve. There's a high bridge over an inlet (the only chance of a vista in southern Florida), and at the apex, you catch a glimpse of what the sign was warning you about...

[Takumi]

...a nine-level stack interchange. Biggest one you've ever seen. You marvel at how complex it is, only to realize that you've missed the option for staying on I-95. Confused, you take the exit for...

[-NCX75-]

...some side street, only to realize that it's Exit 60, the same one that the earlier VMS was warning you about. The thing was, it had just stopped raining and it doesn't even look look like it rained too hard here, but the exit was still closed for some unknown reason... no matter. You decide, meh, I'll just keep going on this freeway. It's FL-862, which eventually leads to I-75, which goes right into the Everglades. As in, like, the Alligator Alley toll road. Why on earth would anyone want to pay to drive in a straight line through the Everglades, of all godforsaken places?! To get pictures of road signs? You already used up your camera's memory taking pictures of that I-1 shield. You don't mind. It was Arialvetegrotesk, however you spell it, so it was worth the memory. Anyway, you say "forget that", navigate to I-95 and go north, and then you realize, "How on earth am I going to go to Hawaii? As in, via car ?"

Oh well. It's not worth the trouble to think about that, yet. You just want this story to get the heck out of South Florida so you slam the accelerator. And get a speeding ticket. Whatever. You have an I-1 shield picture to post onto AARoads so it's all good. Anyway, after leaving Florida you take....

[hbelkins]

...a massive dump at the Georgia welcome center on I-75, thinking that pooing is definitely not cool when you're dropping a pile in the heat and humidity of the South. You stop to pick up a couple of maps at the front desk, trying not to laugh when the guy who just went into the bathroom shouts, "What died in here?" so loud everyone in the lobby can hear it.

You want to make sure you can get through Atlanta without being caught up in its legendary bad traffic, so you...

[-NCX75-]

...take MARTA.  Ha ha ha, just kidding folks. You wish there was some sort of outer perimeter beltway circling the metro. That was finished. And was built specifically for your use so you wouldn't have to encounter congestion. (Like that would ever happen in Atlanta, sheesh). The only problem was that this loop didn't exist. So, you sit in traffic. For what feels like eternity. The Downtown Connector feels like an 18-lane death sentence frozen in time. God, you never want to watch another FreewayJim video again, because of that wretched Downtown Connector in the wretched intro of every single one of his wretched videos! At least, the ones that don't hurt your eyes because they're so old.

Anyway - you eventually escape the dreadful horror that is Metro Atlanta and head towards...

[hm insulators]

...Red Top Mountain State Park off I-75 for a nice hike in the afternoon, or so you think until you break a lace while changing into your hiking boots. Of course you don't have a spare boot lace, so you...

[Laura]

MacGuyver your boot with some ribbon you find on the backseat. The ribbon was from a birthday package from last year. The tag is still partially attached to the ribbon and reads in bold script "To Stove, From Myra". L. Myra Corning is the sweet blonde haired girl that lives next to your grandmother in upstate New York. Whenever you would visit your grandmother as a child, she would always boldly run barefooted across the yard towards you with anticipation for your next adventure together. You wondered if she had romantic feelings for you as you did her, but were always too afraid to ask.

Suddenly, hiking doesn't seem important anymore. Myra's gentle smile and clear blue eyes were on your mind, and you have the urge to see her. You continue north on I-75 towards Chattanooga...

[hbelkins]

...in a mad quest to photograph those "Interstate (STATE) 75" signs that were installed in the area. You also want to become the quintessential tourist and See Rock City and then drive across Monteagle Mountain.

Then you realize it's Bonnaroo weekend and I-24 traffic will be a cluster foxtrot so instead you stay on I-75 to Cleveland and then head east on US 64, intending to backtrack to the Tail Of The Dragon and head back to Tennessee. Since you're driving a huge 4WD dually truck, you want to piss off as many bikers as possible by driving slowly along the route, knowing that if any of them start trouble, your truck is big enough to run over them as if they were frogs hopping across the road after a rainstorm. Then you find out that US 64 has been closed by yet another rockslide east of Cleveland, so you...

[jeffandnicole]

...decide to spend a night in Cleveland, and visit the The Christmas Story House the next day.  You regret buying the tickets in advance, because it turns out the House isn't in Cleveland, TN, but in Cleveland, OH.  Not wanting to waste the $10 you spend on the tickets, you take the 9 hour drive up to the House anyway.  Even though you now spent $60 in gas in order to avoid wasting the $10 admission fee,  you determine the museum's 30 minute tour was worthwhile after all.  After leaving the museum, you write on Facebook how you throughly enjoyed the museum.  Your boss's wife, who you've been sleeping with off and on for the past year, sees that post and mentions it to her husband.  Husband is surprised, because you originally asked for a few days to go Alligator hunting in the Everglades.

While the boss is fuming, you change course and head to Colorado as you had purchased tickets on ebay to the Country and Strawberry and Traffic Jam Festival at Highline Lake.  You were hoping to get some great pictures, but you can't take a boat onto the lake, as the ramp is obstructed by silt. Old time country singer Pam Tillis meets you at the door. You show your ticket.  She shakes her head.  You are an unfortuanate victim of the classic "You hate to hear it from Pam.  Put down the cam.  It's a jam scam at the dam."...

*edited because hbelkins said I referred to the wrong Cleveland in the original version.

[agentsteel53]

You are an unfortuanate victim of the classic "You hate to hear it from Pam.  Put down the cam.  It's a jam scam at the dam."...

which makes you realize that you would have been okay, had you not been carrying around a plastic bag full of assorted internal combustion engine parts.

so, back on the road it is.  time to head across US-550.  all the VMSes (which, incidentally, are neon and date to the 1950s), warn you of inclement conditions across Red Mountain Pass.  undeterred in your large many-tired 4WD vehicle, you charge up the mountain, being careful to throw every biker you've run over off the side of the cliff.  however, soon the blizzard intensifies and you find yourself driving in over 12 inches of unpacked snow.  at one point, you round the bend a bit too quickly and slide into the high cliff wall.  you are okay, but as you get out to inspect the damage, you realize the front of the truck is all steved in...

[Henry]

...so you decide to call Enterprise for a rental car, and after a night at a motel in Bumf*ck, CO, you head west again, to the desert Southwest.

As you head into Las Vegas, you see signs for Interstate 11, and go "Is the whole thing finished already? Cool!" So you decide to detour to Phoenix onto I-11, but then realize that most of it is still a two-lane undivided highway that has been upgraded to freeway standards. And since you're the only one going towards Phoenix, you decide to push the pedal to the metal, just to see if you can hit the other end of the speedometer, so you gun it, but then an AZ Highway patrolman chases you down and stops you, then asks to see your license and registration. After further inspection, he writes you a $100 ticket, and tells you to pay it whenever you're ready. You breathe a sigh of relief as you continue into Phoenix, but then realize that you forgot your cell phone back in CO, meaning that you can't call your friends, tweet or take any more pictures, so the next thing you know...

[Brandon]

...George Clooney hijacks your RV to some godforsaken truck stop in the middle of Mexico..oh, wait, that's a movie.  Actually, you drive your rental onto the beach where the largest wave in the world swallows it and you're forced to find the same rental car in red instead of blue.

Then some maniac...

[Takumi]

...George Clooney hijacks your RV to some godforsaken truck stop in the middle of Mexico..oh, wait, that's a movie.  Actually, you drive your rental onto the beach where the largest wave in the world swallows it and you're forced to find the same rental car in red instead of blue.

Then some maniac...

...in a tractor runs you off the road into the side of a bridge. But once you stumble out, you look down the hill, and great news! A Dacia Sandero...

(Edit for those who don't know what I'm talking about)

[SteveG1988]

...George Clooney hijacks your RV to some godforsaken truck stop in the middle of Mexico..oh, wait, that's a movie.  Actually, you drive your rental onto the beach where the largest wave in the world swallows it and you're forced to find the same rental car in red instead of blue.

Then some maniac...

...in a tractor runs you off the road into the side of a bridge. But once you stumble out, you look down the hill, and great news! A Dacia Sandero...

(Edit for those who don't know what I'm talking about)

Which promptly gets blown up due to being used as a prop car for a large budget movie, you wait for a few hours while a rental car company drops off your replacement vehicle, a chevy volt. You take off and head towards Oregon and Washington to clinch the tacoma narrows bridge as well as the floating bridges. When you get to the Astoria-Megler bridge...

[hbelkins]

...decide to spend a night in Cleveland, and visit the The Christmas Story House the next day

Wrong Cleveland. I was referring to Cleveland, Tenn., which is north of Chattanooga on I-75.

[Bruce]

...you decide to turn left onto Marine Drive in Astoria and thus beginning a clinch of U.S. Route 30. After perfecting your freeway exiting and entering skills on I-84 and I-80 all the way to the vast emptiness known as Nebraska, you fall asleep at the wheel. You jolt awake and veer out of the way of an oncoming light, bracing for the inevitable impact of another vehicle. You swerve off the road, praying to whatever deity is worshiped by the corn-people of this strange land that whatever you hit is okay, only to find...

[kurumi]

...an Air Siphonophore. Praya Kearnaia, probably. Sensations of incredible fortune and delirious terror flood your mind. To see one of them is so rare it is almost blasphemous; you avert your eyes before climbing out of your overturned car.

It doesn't have a face, of course; just a congeries of translucent glassy swimming bells and a bioluminescent lamp, angling toward you, almost blinding. You shade your eyes and gaze eastbound along US 30. It writhes as it hovers, about two stories above the ground, sinuous, its tail at least a mile away, too far to discern. There is no sound except a breeze soughing through the corn.

It shouldn't be able to float in the air. It shouldn't exist at all. Nearly invisible tendrils wave in the air. They'll sting, and guide paralyzed prey back to the multiple external stomachs that line its length. Dimly you remember a warning about US 30 in Nebraska. Most of the dangers are smaller than this, but no less deadly. It's time to get back into your car...

[hbelkins]

...and realize that, just like the season of "Dallas" where Pamela Ewing was dead, everything past Cleveland, Tenn. was a dream.

With your plans to drive the Tail of the Dragon via Murphy dashed, and with no desire to cross the Smokies twice if you approach 129 from the Tennessee side, you venture northward through the high fog area on I-75, with your new goal being to visit the Knoxville Sunsphere that's a leftover relic from when it hosted the World's Fair in the 1980s.

After that anti-climactic moment, country music calls your name. You can't decide whether to head west to Nashville or stay in the area to see one of the shows at Pigeon Forge, so you...

[Alex4897]

...drive south to clinch the Immigration Freedomway across the Gulf.  Upon entering the Freedomway you start seeing VMSs saying:

"Pay attention Steve this is important."

Remembering the last time you saw a sign like this and how a nine-level stack interchange appeared afterwards, you drive on with nervous anticipation of the next roadgeeking wonder you might come across.  Then you remember you're camera's memory is full and your in the middle of the Gulf surrounded by immigrants bound for Alanland.  Naturally, you...

[vdeane]

...get on I-366 and accelerate to 85 miles per hour.  You give your I-94 to the first goat you see, and the goat promptly...

[kurumi]

... blinks once to activate its Google Glass. You hear a mobile phone connection being made, and a gruff voice picks up.

"Uh huh... uh huh... Tidak. Jam sembilan."

You ask: "What's going on?"

The goat focuses one of its unnerving goat eyes on you. "Did you know that 'Tagalog' is an anagram of 'Goat Gal'?"

You scoff. "Everyone knows that." But the goat has already turned away and its one-way conversation continues. Until it doesn't.

The goat smiles, and you really wish it had not done that. That ginky squid-eye goat glare from 27 seconds ago was more tolerable than this smile. "You've been approved. This is your copy " -- it hands you a carbon of your I-94 -- " and you'll want to continue down the 366 to exit 115 in Quindaro; turn left and proceed to 2028 Parsons Boulevard."

You catch your breath. Finally. The Quindaro Map Library is world-renowned for having a copy of every highway map, feasibility study, EIS, public hearing transcript, highway log, and route change notice in the world ever printed. If it involves a highway, it's here.

Driving on I-366, your head is filled with dreams. What will you look up first? What question has been haunting you ever since you became a roadgeek? What could you die happy once you found out?

Of course. It's ...

[jeffandnicole]

...decide to spend a night in Cleveland, and visit the The Christmas Story House the next day

Wrong Cleveland. I was referring to Cleveland, Tenn., which is north of Chattanooga on I-75.

I edited my story to fit your Cleveland reference.

[Brandon]

...when you cross the border from the Perkins Union to Alanland that you being to and don't being to notice things have gotten just a bit normal and weird at the same time.

Then, later...