2014 NYC National Road Meet (June 28-29, 2014)

[Dougtone]

As I've indicated on the Facebook page, I'm currently listing myself as a maybe.  I do intend on going to at least part of the meet, but I also may combine the weekend with visiting family on Long Island, so I'm not certain which parts of the meet I'll be attending.

[Laura]

1. Parents. My parents still think I'm 12, and I can barely go down the street without them freaking out on me. I don't even know how they would let me go to NYC with a bunch of strangers (to them), so this is what I'm worried about the most.

I understand what you mean about this one. (I'm assuming you're 20 years old based on your profile data.) When I was 20, my parents treated me liked I was 12 also. It was ridiculous. I wish you a lot of luck in overcoming this barrier.

Yes, I'm 20, as of January 26th of this year.    I don't understand why parents can be so restrictive - yes, I get it, they care about me, but... isn't it time that I start making my own decisions? I've been cramped up in this apartment since 1998 - I want to see the world, and this is a great time to spend time in NYC, the parts I've never been to and meet a lot of new people.

*sigh* If only it were that easy.

Would it help if your parents met some of us "locals" first? Mike and I are open to helping you out on that front. You could throw a mini meet in and around your town so that they understand what it is that we do on meets.


iPhone

[PHLBOS]

As of now, I'm 50-50 at the moment with regards to attending any part of this meet.  Not 100% sure that I can arrange to the entire meet (2-1/2 days) yet.

I'll likely make my decision here (vs. FB) around late-April/early May. 

Note: Should I attend, I do have a vehicle that can hold up to six (including myself) that I am more than happy help out w/the driving.

[jeffandnicole]

1. Parents. My parents still think I'm 12, and I can barely go down the street without them freaking out on me. I don't even know how they would let me go to NYC with a bunch of strangers (to them), so this is what I'm worried about the most.

I understand what you mean about this one. (I'm assuming you're 20 years old based on your profile data.) When I was 20, my parents treated me liked I was 12 also. It was ridiculous. I wish you a lot of luck in overcoming this barrier.

Yes, I'm 20, as of January 26th of this year.    I don't understand why parents can be so restrictive - yes, I get it, they care about me, but... isn't it time that I start making my own decisions? I've been cramped up in this apartment since 1998 - I want to see the world, and this is a great time to spend time in NYC, the parts I've never been to and meet a lot of new people.

*sigh* If only it were that easy.

Would it help if your parents met some of us "locals" first? Mike and I are open to helping you out on that front. You could throw a mini meet in and around your town so that they understand what it is that we do on meets.

For some parents, it's harder than others.  Some parents give their kids the keys to the outside world.  For others, they don't want them to leave. 

Even today, when I go on my road trips, my mom especially doesn't like it.  When I work overnight plowing roads, my mom doesn't like it.  When I do nearly anything, my mom doesn't like it.  I've been married and out of the house for nearly 14 years though, so she doesn't have much ability to stop what I do. :-)

Then again, my parents were appreciative when I drove them 8 hours out to Ohio for a funeral.  That, they didn't mind!  Although once we started hitting heavy traffic returning to the Philly area, she wanted me to turn the radio off so I can "concentrate on the roads" (dealing with the same rush hour traffic that I've dealt with for 15 years now).

Sometimes, maybe it's just easiest to say you're going to NYC with a group of people you know and trust...and you're going!  They're not going to like it, but when you come back, alive, in one piece, telling them about what you did and where you went, your parents will slowly overcome that overly protective barrier that they have laying over you.

[NE2]

ITT Jeff and Nicole are siblings.

[Pete from Boston]

ITT Jeff and Nicole are siblings.

Yes, but of whom?

[NE2]

ITT Jeff and Nicole are siblings.

Yes, but of whom?

Of each other. Hence the reference by "jeffandnicole" to "my mom".

[Brandon]

ITT Jeff and Nicole are siblings.

Yes, but of whom?

Of each other. Hence the reference by "jeffandnicole" to "my mom".

You sure about that?  Jeff is the one on here most of time, but he set up the account so both could use it.  I was working under a different assumption.

[jeffandnicole]

I have one brother (who is definitely not a roadgeek).

Jeff is on here 100% of the time.  Nicole is very good with roads, directions, etc, and even points stuff out to me and has a good eye for road related stuff.  But as far as these boards go, she has no interest!

[Alex]

Due to the logistics of planning in this area, here are some things to keep in mind:
1) Edison is home to the Metropark rail stop on the Northeast Corridor (and another line or two besides that). Those of you who are traveling by modes other than car can take advantage of that hub location. I, and I'm sure others, will be happy to arrange pickup and dropoff for anyone who can get to the Edison area.
2) The reason to start in NJ for a NY meet is because there are some really cool Hudson River crossings. That said, these crossings cost money - $13 if you don't have E-ZPass. So please remember to bring some cash to chip in!
3) Traffic is unpredictable in NY, to put it mildly. I've tried to minimize freeway mileage to avoid the worst delays, but they could crop up at any time. Bring a GPS, paper map, local roadgeek with you, and if we're late to a stop, we'll play it by ear. May the odds be ever in our favor.
4) Weather: This is happening rain or shine, given the preparations that people will be making so far in advance.

So taking mass transit into Manhattan to see some of the stops changed to seeing them via car?

[Dougtone]

For lodging near Edison, people may want to look at Piscataway or New Brunswick for hotels. 

SCH-I545

[Zeffy]

Would it help if your parents met some of us "locals" first? Mike and I are open to helping you out on that front. You could throw a mini meet in and around your town so that they understand what it is that we do on meets.

That's a capital idea, but the problem stems deeper than I actually said in my original post.

My Dad doesn't care what I do anymore - he understands that I grew up and may want to do things on my own time. It's my Mom that is extremely problematic - one of my older sisters, who was about 21 at the time, wanted to join the military (US Air Force to be precise), and ended up doing so. My Mom got... depressed to say the least, and ended up being isolated from the rest of my family after she got home from work (by isolated, I mean that she goes to her room, shuts the door, and literally may come out for a minute tops before going back up). My sister got back from Basic (she was discharged due to issues I won't be discussing), but my Mom never changed at all - she was still the same as if she wasn't home.

2 years ago, my other older sister found a boyfriend that she really liked, and they moved in to an apartment in New Hope, Pennsylvania. My mother gave  her so much fucking shit that all I could do is cringe. Now, fast forward to the present, she hasn't changed one bit, but she's gotten worse. She now goes and spends my Dad's money practically on useless shit she doesn't need, she spends 6-7 hours at stores and malls (so she says), and when she does come home, she goes right up into her room.

My sisters are going on a trip to Baltimore (lucky), in a few weeks. My Mom went as far out to say that 'I wish I could go to those places all the time'. She did this when my older sister got a better paying job than her as well - but the difference is my sister actually went to college, unlike her. I don't know if getting near 50 years old makes you turn psychotic or something, but it's ridiculous. And of course, being the youngest, my mother exerts absolute control over me. Honestly, my Dad (and my other sisters), have mentioned finding a new house and leaving her behind... but I'm not sure if any of them will actually do it. She is spending all of the money that my Dad struggles to make ends-meet in the first place, and it's not fair that my Dad gets stuck doing half of the things she won't do.

That being said, if I were to separate from my mother in the next coming months, then I would definitely be able to go to this trip. I think the factor is when she's around, her jealousy gets to a point where she doesn't even appreciate her kids going to explore the world and meet new people. And that, is fucked up.

For lodging near Edison, people may want to look at Piscataway or New Brunswick for hotels. 

New Brunswick is a nice place to stay - just don't get caught up by the Rutgers' students meandering if you go to the area around the campus.

[hbelkins]

I don't know if getting near 50 years old makes you turn psychotic or something, but it's ridiculous.

It doesn't. 

So I take it that you still live with your parents and are subject to the "if you live in my house, you abide by my rules" dictum?

I can relate a bit. My mother was over-protective. She always wanted to know where I was going and who I'd be with, even when I got out of college and moved back home when I was working my first job. I can't help but think things would have been better had I come of age in the era of cell phones. A simple text message every hour or so would have reassured her that everything was OK.

[Roadgeek Adam]

For lodging near Edison, people may want to look at Piscataway or New Brunswick for hotels. 

SCH-I545

US 1 has some hotels in Edison, but do not consider the ones in Avenel on US 1. (they pay by the hour.) Also, if anyone comes by public transportation, if I attend the meet, I can pick people up from the NJ Transit Edison Station. My parents' house is within walking distance of the Edison Diner.

Although I said no before, I'm leaving the door open.

ETA: If you're taking Amtrak, get off at Metropark-Iselin station, because Edison has no Amtrak service and New Brunswick's only DC-bound train is at 6:59 in the morning (cause I've taken it). If you want to go to Edison, you have to get off at NY Penn, Newark Penn, or Metropark and transfer to the NJ Transit Northeast Corridor local train to Edison, which is another 2 stops. If you do it by Metropark, it's probably about $2.25-$4.00.

[Brandon]

For lodging near Edison, people may want to look at Piscataway or New Brunswick for hotels. 

SCH-I545

US 1 has some hotels in Edison, but do not consider the ones in Avenel on US 1. (they pay by the hour.)

Cool, you get a room and a show!

[Alps]

Due to the logistics of planning in this area, here are some things to keep in mind:
1) Edison is home to the Metropark rail stop on the Northeast Corridor (and another line or two besides that). Those of you who are traveling by modes other than car can take advantage of that hub location. I, and I'm sure others, will be happy to arrange pickup and dropoff for anyone who can get to the Edison area.
2) The reason to start in NJ for a NY meet is because there are some really cool Hudson River crossings. That said, these crossings cost money - $13 if you don't have E-ZPass. So please remember to bring some cash to chip in!
3) Traffic is unpredictable in NY, to put it mildly. I've tried to minimize freeway mileage to avoid the worst delays, but they could crop up at any time. Bring a GPS, paper map, local roadgeek with you, and if we're late to a stop, we'll play it by ear. May the odds be ever in our favor.
4) Weather: This is happening rain or shine, given the preparations that people will be making so far in advance.

So taking mass transit into Manhattan to see some of the stops changed to seeing them via car?

Most of the sights just aren't near mass transit, and there would be way too much walking for the ones that are.

[Duke87]

I can relate a bit. My mother was over-protective. She always wanted to know where I was going and who I'd be with, even when I got out of college and moved back home when I was working my first job. I can't help but think things would have been better had I come of age in the era of cell phones. A simple text message every hour or so would have reassured her that everything was OK.

My mother was like this too, but I think the key difference from what Zeffy is experiencing is that while my mother always wanted to know where I was and what I was doing, once I turned 18 she never forbade me from going anywhere explicitly or implicitly. I was allowed to do as I pleased so long as I told her what that was. So while I had to deal with basically having no privacy, I did not have to deal with being told I wasn't allowed to go anywhere because she had an emotional need for me to always be home.

Of course, you say "a simple text message every hour or so would have reassured her", I say that's ridiculous. Hell, I used to intentionally turn my phone off when I was out and about so that I wouldn't have to deal with annoying calls from my parents wanting updates. It's especially fun when you do this and then don't get home until hours later than they were expecting you.

[A.J. Bertin]

Zeffy, if I get to meet you, I'll have to share with you some stories about the summer I was 20. It was the summer from hell for me. It was the last time I resided at my parents' house, and I have not looked back. My parents were EXTREMELY overprotective of me at 20. I'd love to tell you some stories sometime if I get a chance to. My experience was awful and was probably at least slightly similar to what you're going through with your mom.

I truly wish you luck in dealing with all of that.

[sammi]

I might be going, but only if poo.

So I ask my parents if I can go to New York.
"Sure, if we can fit it in our schedules--"
"No, just me."
"Why? You're gonna be with people you don't know."

Like, why do you think it's called a road meet? >_>

[vdeane]

My Mom always wants me to text when I'm leaving to visit family and when I get back to my apartment.  I always joke "do you want me to text when I arrive/leave home too?".

I might be going, but only if poo.

So I ask my parents if I can go to New York.
"Sure, if we can fit it in our schedules--"
"No, just me."
"Why? You're gonna be with people you don't know."

Like, why do you think it's called a road meet? >_>

My parents were skeptical of my first meet too (especially since it was an invitational one) though it wasn't really an issue.  Of course, it did help that I was 18 and had the car.

[SSOWorld]

I'm 41 - and have a paranoid mother.  I just do it anyway.  Seriously nowadays I think she's getting senile - or is trying to convey a sense of humor.

[corco]

Yeah, I still contact my mother almost every night when I'm on the road.

Honestly, I've oftentimes found it easier just to not say anything. I didn't really tell her about any roadtrips I took from the time I went to college until sometime well into grad school. I think the first time I told her about a substantial roadtrip was when I went to Louisiana in the summer of 2012 while in grad school (as I was financially independent by that point).

Now I'm totally on my own, so I tell her most of the time (usually for longer trips, or if I'm going to Canada just because I figure it's good for family to know if you're out of the country).

[Duke87]

I tend to frequently update Facebook when going on a long trip. That reassures everyone that I am still alive.

[sammi]

I try to post updates when Internet service is available, which it isn't when I cross the border.

Also, apparently my mom says I can't go because I don't know how to cook.

* Sammi scratches her head

It's not like any of you are gonna be making your own food, right?

And didn't I manage to take care of myself for five days in San Francisco in 2011? It's gonna be just like San Francisco, except (1) it's with a different group of people, (2) it's shorter and less expensive,^{[citation needed]} and (3) I won't need to be pulled aside and hold up the entire group because I don't have a Canadian passport.

Should we give [her] a tongue swab?

[vdeane]

Also, apparently my mom says I can't go because I don't know how to cook.

...

I can't even think of a reply.

I just use fast food while on the road.  Well, there was the time I ordered a small pizza in Ticonderoga... it beat another stop at the Subway across the street from the hotel.

I don't think I've even stayed in a hotel with a kitchen.  If a hotel did have one open to guests, I certainly didn't care to find out.